I'm 16 and still a virgin I'm okay with that. but I kinda wanna ditch the title my boyfriend had sex way before I met him and I'm scared I mean I finger myself and he also does but im scared to have sex but now we wants anal sex! we said he can have both.. I'm scared sh*tless. what do I do?
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Hi there, I'm Dan, and I'm gonna pick your post apart and shed some light onto what you're worried about ^_^ If you don't feel 100% happy about my answer or you want to ask about something I missed or that came to mind after reading this post, feel free to send me a Private Message on this site (However it is you do that). Right, let's get answering ^_^
"I'm 16 and still a virgin I'm okay with that. but I kinda wanna ditch the title"
It's good to see you're happy with being a virgin, but I gotta say, don't have sex for the sake of getting rid of your virginity. Have sex for fun, for love, for... Well, you're a little young for the other reason. But don't feel like you -must- lose it because 'everyone else has.' I know you probably get this at school, 'peer pressure' talks and all that, but it's good information. If you're sure you want to have sex, then that's totally your choice :) Just don't feel rushed!
"my boyfriend had sex way before I met him and I'm scared"
Understandable, really. But trust me, sex is nothing to be scared of, if you do it right :) Don't be stupid and use the Pull Out method (Where you have unprotected sex and he pulls out before cumming). Use a condom, go to your doctor and get The Pill, but -don't- have unprotected sex! Using protection throws the fear of pregnancy or STD's (If using a condom) away, which just leaves you with your fear of the unknown.
Sex is great - It's fun, it's intiamte, you can have sex in hundreds of different ways. But you might know that, the first time you have sex, your Hyneman will get broken. Not sure what the job of your Hyneman is, only that it gets broken the first time you have sex. When it breaks, the sensation varies - Some people (Like my girlfriend) will feel a lot of pain, some won't feel much pain at all. Everyone bleads when their hyneman is broken, so the pain and bleading are nothing to be scared of, they're both temporary and they're both natural. Just be aware your first time can be a little bit... Awkward. Make sure you talk to your boyfriend about it before hand, and make sure he goes at a pace you're happy with. Enjoy your first time :P
You did mention he'd had sex before, so I dare to say he has some experience and will know how to please you. But again, talk to him about it. He's the guy you're gonna do it with, so tell him about your fears.
"I mean I finger myself and he also does but im scared to have sex"
Like I said, talk to him.
"but now we wants anal sex!"
Oh, wow... Erm, I've had no experience with anal sex - My girlfriend has a back problem which sort of stops us doing that - But it didn't stop me reading into it. I've gotta say, you're still a virgin, methinks you should at least see to it that you're happy (And not scared of) regular sex before you start branching out into the more adventurous side of sex. If you're serious about it, you can look up a lot of guides to having safe, pleasurable anal sex online, but I'd give some serious thought about it before hand.
"we said he can have both.. I'm scared sh*tless. what do I do?"
Talk to him. I have said this before, but I can't stress enough how important communication in a relationship is. Imagine this:You and your boyfriend are having sex. The problem is, the position you're in is uncomfortable for you, but it's always the one he wants. You don't want to upset him, so you never tell him about it being uncomfortable and, as a result, you never really enjoy the sex. Because you don't enjoy it, he might think he's doing something wrong and that he can't please you. Unless you tell him that there's something wrong, he has no real way of knowing, and he'll keep doing the thing that's wrong, ignorant to the fact that it hurts you.
So how do you avoid this situation to begin with? Talk to him! Just tell him "I'm scared of sex. I'm not saying we can't have it, but can we talk about it first, please?" Tell him sex (And later down the line, anal sex, if you feel more confident about it) isn't out of the question, but you really want him to make you comfortable with it. I don't think this is the best answer I've ever given to a question, so my offer stands about asking me further questions via PM.
Hope I've helped shed some light on your problem!
-Dan
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