Ok so. my wife is one month pregnant. and she says that my sister is not aloud in the birthing room.
the 3 people she has chosen are work friends that she has known for 9 months one of them beeing an ex girlfriend.
My sister raised me and is the biggest part of my life next to my wife ofcourse. and this means the world to me.
I know ive been told think of your wife and what she wants.
I understand that. do i not have a say
the 3 people she has chosen are work friends that she has known for 9 months one of them beeing an ex girlfriend.
My sister raised me and is the biggest part of my life next to my wife ofcourse. and this means the world to me.
I know ive been told think of your wife and what she wants.
I understand that. do i not have a say
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Gemini,
I know this is hard for you, but labor is going to be really hard for your wife. Anything that is going to distract her from what she has to do, is not good for her or your baby. I'm sure there is a reason she doesn't want your sister there. And, I understand that it would mean a lot to you if she was, but you need to focus on your wife's needs, and one of those needs is making her as comfortable as possible. Sadly, you really don't get a say in who gets to be there, like I just said, she needs to feel comfortable in the birthing room, if she's not, the whole process is that much harder. Try to come to a compromise with her, see if she will allow your sister into the room while she is in labor, but not while she is actually giving birth. That way, your sister is involved, but your wife can still be comfortable during the hard part. Good Luck!
I know this is hard for you, but labor is going to be really hard for your wife. Anything that is going to distract her from what she has to do, is not good for her or your baby. I'm sure there is a reason she doesn't want your sister there. And, I understand that it would mean a lot to you if she was, but you need to focus on your wife's needs, and one of those needs is making her as comfortable as possible. Sadly, you really don't get a say in who gets to be there, like I just said, she needs to feel comfortable in the birthing room, if she's not, the whole process is that much harder. Try to come to a compromise with her, see if she will allow your sister into the room while she is in labor, but not while she is actually giving birth. That way, your sister is involved, but your wife can still be comfortable during the hard part. Good Luck!
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Sorry, but personally its her decision not yours. She will be the one in labor not you, so it needs to be people she is comfortable with. If she isn't comfortable with you sister in the room that's what she will be focusing on, and it will make it more of a trial on her.Your sister doesn't need to be in the room being in the hospital and holding your baby are an experience enough. The truth maybe that she is closer to her recent friends that your sister, just because they have known each other for a longer period of time doesn't mean that they are close. She may change her mind later on. Maybe they need to spend time together and get to know each other better, but I'm not promising that it will work. I'm five and a half months pregnant and have had people tell me who I should have in the delivery room, and I don't like it, so I cant imagine she would either.
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I understand you wanting your sister (mother) in the room during the delivery but it is really up to her. She's the one with her tail in the air. She might change her mind as time goes on. What I would do is try to include your sister in as much as possible with the pregnancy and show your wife how much she wants to be part of this. She might even be ok with her being in there but at her head and not seeing quit so much. But personally I wouldn't want another woman in the room I didn't know very well (except dr's of course) She might even be happy if she's in for the start of things but not the Actual delivery and than come back in quickly there after. Aside of just bringing a baby into the world it's also a very personal experience. Think of it this way there are times when you prob. don't want her father in the room. Even though it's a life it's also her body...
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Im sorryt although it IS your baby also..it is her who is going to be bare from the waist down (or maybe all the way) with her girly parts hanging out..its going to be hard enough for her...she gets to decide whos in the room. Anyone who makes her uncomfortable or she doesnt want seeing her pushing a kid out..doesnt need to be in the room. But give her time, shes not far along yet..maybe she will change her mind. but dont get angry with her if she doesnt.
Your sis may have raised you..but she will still get to see the baby soon, doesnt have to be right away.
Your sis may have raised you..but she will still get to see the baby soon, doesnt have to be right away.
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It's my usual "So, the baby has already been born but other than that, how long ago was this anyway? move. One month of pregnancy's awfully early to be making the "guess list" for the delivery room. One party has to be there with her, the medical staff. After that, it's up to the mother. It would be very unwise if the husband/father wasn't first on the list, but there are legitimate reasons to not have the father of the child in the delivery room. If any mother said, "Doctors, daddy and that's it!" I would be at peace with the decision. How much am I "reading between the lines" to think there may be a little tension between the writer's wife and his sister/de-facto mother? But even if there is none, I couldn't blame the wife if she doesn't want witnessing the wife giving birth to be part of her relationship with her de-facto mother in law. Inviting her 3 co-workers is a strange choice. If I was one of those co-workers, I would turn her down, telling her, "This should be between you and your husband."
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