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A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:

8:00 AM -- Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 AM -- Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 AM -- Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
l0:30 AM -- Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
11:30 AM -- Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
Noon -- Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 PM -- Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 PM -- Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
5:00 PM -- Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 PM -- Oh Boy! It's Mommy! My favorite!
6:00 PM -- Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 PM -- Oh Boy! Sleeping in my master's bed! My favorite!


A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

Day 687 Of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape and the mild satisfaction I get from destroying the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

Day 688 Of My Captivity: Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their
bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of and to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed condescendingly about what a good little cat I was.
Hmmmm, not working according to plan.


Day 689 Of My Captivity: There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event; however, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant; it speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait. It is only a matter of time...

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:fubby: that is perfect :fubby:
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my cat has a different diary style

day 200 of my enslavement of this human

i demand my food, the slave obey
i demand attention, my slave obeys
i demand more attention, the slave obeys

slave leaves house and returns with food, which i demanded
slave places food in bowl

slave leaves for "work" this ensures more food when when i demand

slave returns from work, i demand food, slaves obeys
i demand attention, my slave obeys
i demand attention, my slave obeys
i demand more attention, the slave obeys
i demand attention, my slave obeys
i demand more attention, the slave obeys
i demand attention, my slave obeys
i demand more attention, the slave obeys

my day is complete, the slave has fallen asleep
i demand more attention, the slave obeys

slave goes to bed
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FB's is absolutely perfect!

Hyper, I hat a cat for close to a year. It was more kitty plotting.
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Health Ace
6880 posts
Only one? I have four from 4 years old to twenty. The 20 year old was 7 when we got him from the SPCA the 4 yo was said to be 3 but when he doubled in size in the first 6 months our vet said he was probably less than a year. He is huge now but he's a lot of fun. He is more like a gorilla that goes wherever he wants and none of the others can stop him. The 20 yo chose us at the SPCA. The room was full of people but he was looking at us every time we looked toward his cage.
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Love it !!!
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Ha! good one!
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So, so true.
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Ha! good one!
:1:
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Those are so true--except for the dog I would add: "Oooh: Dad! My absolute favorite! Wait, is that a snausage? My new absolute favorite!"
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