A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:
8:00 AM -- Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 AM -- Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 AM -- Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
l0:30 AM -- Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
11:30 AM -- Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
Noon -- Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 PM -- Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 PM -- Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
5:00 PM -- Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 PM -- Oh Boy! It's Mommy! My favorite!
6:00 PM -- Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 PM -- Oh Boy! Sleeping in my master's bed! My favorite!
A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:
Day 687 Of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape and the mild satisfaction I get from destroying the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Day 688 Of My Captivity: Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their
bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of and to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed condescendingly about what a good little cat I was.
Hmmmm, not working according to plan.
Day 689 Of My Captivity: There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event; however, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant; it speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait. It is only a matter of time...
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day 200 of my enslavement of this human
i demand my food, the slave obey
i demand attention, my slave obeys
i demand more attention, the slave obeys
slave leaves house and returns with food, which i demanded
slave places food in bowl
slave leaves for "work" this ensures more food when when i demand
slave returns from work, i demand food, slaves obeys
i demand attention, my slave obeys
i demand attention, my slave obeys
i demand more attention, the slave obeys
i demand attention, my slave obeys
i demand more attention, the slave obeys
i demand attention, my slave obeys
i demand more attention, the slave obeys
my day is complete, the slave has fallen asleep
i demand more attention, the slave obeys
slave goes to bed
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Hyper, I hat a cat for close to a year. It was more kitty plotting.
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