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My girl got herpes, I know she didn’t get it from me, I went to check and I don’t have it. Now I am so disgusted by sex that I can’t get an erection. I left my girlfriend and I have a new one now, I really like her, we’ve been together for almost three months, but I just can’t have sex with her. I’m afraid she might be infected with herpes too. And I’m afraid this time I might not be so lucky. How to restore my sex life after my ex’s herpes diagnosis?

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Your problem is not herpes, I hope you realise that. First of all, herpes is by no means the worst possible STD that could affect you. It does not hurt that much, it basically leaves no consequences and the treatment with acyclovir is rarely disturbed by serious side effects. Sex life does not need to suffer in case of herpes - you just use condoms (not a 100% sure protection, but lessens the possibility of transmitting the virus) and agree with your new girl to avoid sex when she has outbreaks. If she has outbreaks. And she probably doesn’t have outbreaks simply because she probably doesn’t have herpes!!! If you are so afraid, tell her to go and check her condition. Don’t be afraid to ask her to do that if you really care about her. If your problems continue after that check, then I think you should visit a sexologist and/or a psychiatrist. Your problem has either certain similarities to phobias (uncontrolled fear of getting a disease in your case), or it has something to do with the fact that you doubt your ex cheated on you and in that way betrayed you. Perhaps you still have feelings for her and you can’t get comfortable with that new girl and thus can’t get an erection. Talking to an expert will be your first step toward making your sex - life work again.
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