This is what is on my mind

Got into an arguement the other day with my wife about not wanting to go out - mainly because i had not gotten any sleep the night before. In the arguement, my wife accused me of not wanting to ever go out, as well as the fact that i don't have friends. Both are true to a certain extent. No, i do not have any friends that i call on the phone or hang out with. i do have friends at work, but really only socialize with them at work. I guess they are really just co-workers then!? I used to have alot of friends actually, but for some weird reason, they seemed to drift away from me after i got married - despite me trying to stay in touch with them. This never really affected me much, i don't think. But now, there is really no one that i can share my interests with. I really don't consider myself as one of "the guys", because i am not into football or baseball or hockey or basketball. I seem to be content on just socializing with coworkers at work and any time beyond work, i am with family. I do admit that i don't always like to go out to social events or into the public for that matter. But it is not like i just hole myself up. I have alot of hobbies that i like to do, like reading and building models, but in the last couple of years i have not been able to do much of this. I do ahve a daughter who i love to death, but it seems to be hard to steal some free time. Even before my daughter, i felt like i was put on a guilt trip by my wife when i did my hobby. She would always complain how i would sit there for hours, the smell of the paints and glue, etc. She does the same when i am on my laptop. However,s he spends way more time on her laptop then i do on mine. I am on anti-depressents and i have been for many years now. I also do suffer from PTSD becasue of my childhood. I have tried to make myself happy in any way i can think of. I really hope that my daughter does not become like me, because she is such a smart and happy little girl. I am not sure where i was going with this, but i guess i am just trying to get stuff off my chest. I only wish that some people could understand what i go through on a daily basis. I want a happy life, i want a happy marriage and family, i want my wife to be happy and i want my daughter to grow up and be happy as well. However, i don't want to be made to feel guilty and i don't want to be forced to do things that i may not feel like doing. Lastly, i don't want my loved ones to be affected by this.