when i look at the live of my peers, or people i grew up with i feel empty. they're all doing big things.going places..having fun.but im here at home doing nothing with my life.. i feel like i need to do so much more being that i'm 20 i have to create memories.where i can look back and say wow what a life.but noo.i guess thats no God's plan for me. my days consists of going to classes..eat.sleep.study..maybe sometimes hang out with a few friends.and a girl who sorta seeing.but i feel like that is not enough.when compared to the lives of my peers.even my younger brother, tho he is not doing well in school.but he has a great life.always out the house..sometimes i start to get jealous of him being that he used to be the quiet one when we were younger, and i was the talkative friendly one.but now things changed.
i really fight the urge to get jealous of him cuz i love him too much to want to have any animosity towards him, all because im jealous. sometimes i have suicidal thoughts because i feel like i'm a waste of valuable space on earth. i know they say thank God for what you have now.i try.but things arent getting any better. the worst part is that i know there's nothing wrong with me but my f**ked up mental(subconscious/unconscious mind). in fact, im very good looking (so i've been told) i could be charming, im a decent drummer, i have a very good fashion sense, im funny.. but have also been told i have a low-self esteem. i agree.because right now my confidence is on a all-time low.so these qualities never blossom. i have a very few close friends, and a "girlfriend", but i feel like this isnt enough..compared to everyone else. i try not going on facebook anymore because it gets me depressed.
i tried making new friends but then i feel like im not interesting enough, i come off as too needy, or awkward.. im about to just say f*ck it.and not care about anything anymore.i really do not know what to do guys ..i need some advice .please. right now i really
It could be a little difficult in life, but you have to pray and ask God for some help. Let me tell you, being on facebook isn't all what it seems to be. You have young girls getting raped and killed, you see alot of drama has been going on since has become popular for people to create an account and use. I agree with you about it being very depressing. Find other hobbies like:going bowling, taking your girlfriend skating, going for walks together in the park, and going to church at times. There's no excuse of being bored, or having nothing to do these days. Being jealous of your younger brother can be resolved by asking God to remove that evil spirit from you. The devil doesn't want us to be happy about anything, so you do what's right to prove him wrong. Have your mother schedule you an appointment to be evaluated to get you some advice and help. Never give up on life, because God never gave up on you. I hope that my response has given you some advice that you are needing. The healing process doesn't work over night, but in due time you'll see the difference in your life.