I guess i should start at the very beginning. I met this guy on a chat site over the summer. It was a webcam chat for singles. Anyways we end up skyping till 3 am that night. We get along great. He makes me laugh, we have the same taste in music. And everything was going really well, till this one day, my friend slept over the night before. And in the morning, accidentally spilled the beans to my mom that i had been talking to this guy. My parents never knew about him. But they had an idea on what i was doing. Anyways They don't approve even though i'm 22 years old and should be allowed to talk to whoever I please. Anyway I ended up telling the guy that my parents knew. and he was really sweet to me saying he wouldn't leave and that he'd still be there for me. The thing is though we've never labeled each other on what we are. he's seen me naked on cam before. WE both wanted to do that together. Yet he claims that were just friends. Its all just really hard since he's far away form me. I just don't know what to do. I need advice really really bad!
It is well to be cautious with contacts made over the internet. As a father of adult daughters, I can understand your parents having reservations, but you don't say what they don't approve of. Reading your post has given me concerns for you. Please be very careful. I sense you already have your own concerns
- "They don't approve even though i'm 22 years old"
- Parents can 'approve' or 'disapprove' no matter how old you are.
- Parental concern continues beyond 'age of majority'
- Parents often see things their children cannot see.
- What do they not approve of?
- "should be allowed to talk to whoever I please"
- Have they banned you from talking to him?
- But this has gone beyond just talking.
- "My parents never knew about him"
- If you "get along great" why did your parents not know? Why have you have hidden it from them?
- Parental involvement in any relationship is important - at any age.
- How well do you get on with your parents generally?
But let me mention things that were red flags to me. This guy might be genuine and kind, but he might not be. Let me suggest areas of concern.
- "He makes me laugh"
- A lot of internet predators have that ability.
- "we have the same taste in music"
- What is that shared "taste in music"?
- Is that all you have in common?
- What do you know of his family?
- What about his sexual history?
- What about his religion/culture and yours?
- "he was really sweet to me saying he wouldn't leave"
- Why did he say "he wouldn't leave"?
- That doesn't surprise me. It sounds like he just wants to hang on to you.
- If your parents have concerns, he should embrace those concerns, and try to prove himself to them.
- If his intentions are honorable, then he would support you and your parents.
- "he'd still be there for me"
- or for himself?
- In what way is he going to "still be there" for you?
- "we've never labeled each other on what we are"
- what do you mean by that? You state "he claims that we're just friends"!
- "he's seen me naked on cam before"
- Just sitting there with no clothes on?
- Or were you 'displaying yourself' in a particular way?
- What else did you do?
- Who suggested it in the first place?
- "WE both wanted to do that together"
- So he was naked as well?
- What was he doing?
- I should think he did want to do that! Most young men would jump at the opportunity with any girl. No wonder he said "he wouldn't leave"!
- "Yet he claims that we're just friends"
- So he gets naked (and perhaps more) with girls with whom he is "just friends"?
- How can you be more than friends without knowing much about each other?
- "he's far away from me"
- Where does he live?
- Where do you live?
- What does he know about where you live?
- "Its all just really hard since he's far away form me"
- Why is it therefore really hard?
- I think it maybe as well he is far away.
I really think you must be extremely careful here. I think the warning signs are there.
I hope this helps as a start.
I wait to hear your response.
I realize i left out a lot of detail, his name is Lucas. He's 22 years old and he's in Ohio. he's studying to be an Engineer in school. I live in Delaware witch is really far away form him. He got naked on cam because i wanted to with him. He never forced me into do any of it. The reason why, my parents never found out about him is because. I've talked to guys before on the internet and they get to protective over me. Lucas is not just looking for something physical. He wants more.
While you say "I realize i left out a lot of detail", you still have not replied to many of my questions. Please do so in order for me to help you better.
If you prefer, in order to be more open, you can private message me.
- "he's in Ohio ... I live in Delaware"
- That's about 500 mikes away I guess. Not too far in USA terms (I am in UK).
- "He got naked on cam because i wanted to with him"
- Why did you want to do that? He says you are just friends.
- Please explain more about that.
- "my parents ... get too protective over me" Maybe not too protective, but just honestly concerned.
- You have not said much about yourself. Maybe they consider you vulnerable.
- Do you know of any reason they would think that?
- Do you have any condition or syndrome that might make them so concerned?
- "Lucas is not just looking for something physical"
- so that means he is looking for something physical, but not just physical?
- What has he said about that?
- "He wants more"
- What is the 'more' that he wants?
I still think you need to be very careful here. What you have said has not alleviated my concerns for you.
I wait to hear again from you, but don't give out too much detail in public that would give away your location and put you in danger. Always be extra safe on the internet.
I hope I can help some more.