I don't have an experience of such thoughts while smoking weed but i believe i had those thoughts growing up. How old are you?
I think thoughts about "what if i drop dead now" are normal but in your case they might be a bit blown up because of weed.
You have to realize that you can not go through life thinking that you may die every moment. Like you said, you can't be happy because of it. Worrying is not good, we all know that. Our lives would suc k if we had to thing about all those things, our existence, world problems...etc. There's this great book i read call "The pursue of Unhappiness" - Paul Watzlawick. It's a guide for what you should do if you want to be unhappy" :D So , all you have to do is follow his advice in the book and your life will be filled with misery.
One story in his book is about "worry". He said something like this:"How can i enjoy this glass of water , when right at this time there's a child in Africa dying of thirst. I will remember it each time i have a glass of water".
That is what i can help you with since i do not use weed. :) Keep us posted on your progress and your feelings.
I am 20 years old. And recently 3 people I knew dies and so have been sad but I hate this feeling so much. Like as of right now I have trouble sleeping and it scares me. I am sick of this but I know it's all in my head but I am scared.
It makes sense why you would have such thoughts. If there was much death around you lately it is perfectly normal to question the existence of yourself. Talking with someone about it might help.
Do you have anyone to talk to about this?
i have a counselor. But I feel like I a dying mysbed and I have been to the hospital and my doctors and they said I was fine and I feel like everything is not fine and that really does scare me.
Well, how can you know that everything is not fine?
What do you think it needs to happen for you to get better? Any ideas?
I want me to go back to the old me. I want to feel lie my old self before I smoked that weed. I want to feel happy again, and to be able to sleep again. Really sick of feeling like this. It is scary and tiring as hell. And plus I am in college right now and I am feeling like this so yeah I am a bit stressed out. But I don't know I am telling myself I am going to be fine and alright, that it is all in my head. And I will be strong.
Ok. Good. You have a goal, you want to be happy, you want to sleep. Always have that in mind.
You know, sometimes i get in "that" mood where i am sick of how my life is currently going. Sure, i do get "depressed" and mad at myself but through my experiences i learned that is an excellent time to change.
Yes, change. I would analyze my behavior and figure out what makes me miserable and unhappy. Then i would ask myself what would i like to do?
For an example, i was always miserable because i thought i was skinny. My older brother was always mocking me and that probably had something to do with that. So i decided to work out, and eat and create my own workout at home program. In 8 months i gained 30 pounds, most of it was muscle.
To conclude. Use these times to better yourself. Try learning something new, read a book, start playing sports or painting for instance. Use your free time to do something creative. Don't let it beat you. We all have those "dark" moments in our lives but it's up to you to make the best out if.
In my bad times i used to lock myself in my apartment for a phew days. Bought bunch of food, cigarettes and watched movies all day with my blinds shut while it was sunny outside. We all need that from time to time i guess.
Do you have any idea what you could do to feel better?
No I don't which is scary as hell. Maybe writing I believe. i really have to think about that. I am a 20 year old male going through this and it is some scary sh*t.
I think userK has some great advice for you. I just thought I'd throw my two cents in and maybe it could help.
It is perfectly normal to question your own existence and worry about death; it is something that every single person that has ever lived has had to deal with at one point or another. I believe that when you are forced to confront death for the first time (maybe every time even) it really does impact your thoughts and actions for quite some time. Because of the age in which we live, I think that a lot of us are very desensitized to death and dying; the media and video games feed these thoughts to us constantly. But when someone you are close to actually passes, things all of a sudden get more real.
It sounds like you are not much of a weed smoker, so when you did smoke it, it probably hit you really hard. Paranoia is a side effect from smoking weed, and so is delusional and irrational thought processes. It doesn't surprise me at all that you thought about death when you got high after going through losing 3 people that were close to you. It doesn't surprise me that you are still thinking about death now that you are not high. I think that either way, whether you smoked or not, you would have thoughts similar to this, but the weed probably just exacerbated it and likely made you blow it up in your mind which has caused you to obsess over it recently.
When faced with mental and emotional issues like this, I think it is very important to rationalize. Try to pull yourself away from your mind for a few minutes and think about what the real issue is. You have just gone through some significantly life changing events, that you should be upset about. Using mind expanding drugs during this time caused you to obsessively overwhelm yourself with this negativity and you need to realize that there is no good that will come from obsessing about this. You need to live in the NOW and enjoy what you do have in life. You have been given the gift of life, and constantly being worried about dying is only going to make you miserable, in effect this will cause you not to live your life at all.
So I ask you this question: Would you rather have never lived at all? Because without death, there is no such thing as life. It is a cold hard truth, but once you accept this, I believe it is much easier to deal with death. So my advice is to live your life now, especially while you are young and in college (those were definitely the best times of my life), and don't obsess about dying because that is no way to live. You should try listening to the song, "Do You Realize" by The Flaming Lips; it could help bring this point across to you.
If you are a religious person, you should really welcome death because most religions hold a similar belief that the afterlife is much more profound and glorious that our physical existence right now. If you are not a religious person, it might help to find your God. This could give you the comfort of knowing what you are and where you are going. I'm personally not all that religious, but I hold my own beliefs I guess. Either way, I have accepted that without death, there is no life; and life is an amazing thing if you live it the way you should.
I really like what you had to say. And I am scared I don't know what the issue is with me and I am happy that you replied to my post. Did go through something like this. Or no
In have just listened to that song and it is the most depressing song in the world. and to be honest helped me out A little but it is still a depressing ass song. This song has made realize that everyone I know wiin even me and that sh*t is still sad cans scary as hell but as of right now I can't focus on that. And I have to live for now and with family and friends. But have you had this feeling or am I really alone?
You are not alone!
I too had chest pains, balance issues, weird symptoms I couldn't even start to describe including thoughts of fear, anger and despair.
It is all coming from your mind and yes, the weed probably had a large part in starting this all. I recovered from it all and so can you.
You might wanna read something I wrote 10 minutes ago to George-something on this same forum. It touches the problems you are experiencing.
I was raised in a relatively religious household (I say relatively because we went to church every week, and said grace before dinner and prayers before bed, but we weren't hardcore Christians). So when I was younger, I very much so believed in everything that Christianity is all about. To me, death was scary, but I knew that I would go to heaven if I lived a sound and moral life before I died.
Then when I got older and started experimenting with different mind altering substances and studying biology, chemistry and philosophy in college, my views changed rather dramatically. I started to question my beliefs and the things that I was always taught growing up. This was a very difficult time for me, and I would imagine very similar to what you are going through now. I then went through a point in my life when I didn't believe in God. Death was absolutely terrifying to me; it is very hard to imagine the world without yourself in it. But it is even more difficult to imagine your own existence being dissolved away completely. I never really talked to anyone about it, but somehow over the years I just came to accept that there is only life AND death; you can't have one without the other, and life is (or at least can be) truly a gift that you MUST cherish and live the way you want. You must do what makes you happy, especially when you are young and have your health. There is absolutely no point in getting yourself all worked up and anxious about something that is inevitably going to happen to all of us but very likely many many years from now.
The worst thing that you could possibly do to yourself is nothing at all. You need to experience the things that you want to experience and do what you want to do. Of course all in moderation. Otherwise you could desensitize yourself to happiness - if that makes sense. People that have been given everything (material wise anyway) are sometimes the most miserable people because without experiencing having to work towards goals in life, they can never truly appreciate monetary things. You can't be happy with having everything you want, unless you've had little or nothing at some point in your life or at least had to work for what you have. You can't truly have one without the other. "The sweet just ain't as sweet without the bitter". Just as life wouldn't be life without death. Its the whole Yin and Yang thing; the battle between good and evil, right and wrong, love and hate, etc. I'm sorry if that went off topic there for a minute, but i think that it is important to understand that if you truly want to be happy.
I'm 30 years old now, and live a perfectly content life. So trust me, there is light at the end of the tunnel.