Where do i start...

Guest over a year ago

All my life i have been bullied and could never seem to do anything right; and that still stands to this day. Ever since i started kindergarten, all i've ever done is be myself, and what do i get? Bullied. BUt it really hit the most when we moved into Ballina and i changed schools to Ballina Public School in year 2. I had my first fight, and made my first bestfriend in year 2 aswell.

I died my hair blue for shave for a cure in year 2 or 3 and i remember really well, that it wasn't only the kids that made fun of me but it was the teachers aswell. One of them actually said to me that if i don't get it out of my hair that i'll be suspended. God, i never liked her. Then in year 4 my eye was going all werid on me and started being lazy and i got picked on for that too. In year 5 i got picked on for being friends with these 2 girls who were a year older than me; they ended up being total bitchez to me and i had a fight with one of them.

In year 6 i picked on for having my anger issues that i haven't been able to control. I also, well my older sister dyed parts of my hair blacked and i got called emo for that. and the guys WOULD NOT leave me alone. I ended up getting so pissed off at one of them that i kicked him in the balls, and they STILL go on about that today. I also had my first actual relationship that lasted for 3 months before he dumped me because he thought i was cheating on him when i wasn't. Most people hated me for the other couple of guys i dated also in year 6.

In year 7 my 'friends' started throwing food at me and sticks and picking on me because of once again my anger issues. In year 8 the same thing happened except there was the b***h that started saying sh*t about us to other people and then i threatened her and that got me a warning suspension. I remember i slapped her too. In year 9 i dated a guy who was a year older than me, and he smoked and drinked. Then for our one month he asked me for sex. (i'm a virgin) I declined and broke up with him. And my relationship with this other guy in year 8, we broke up a couple of months before year 9 and he STILL treats me like a jerk to this very day.

And now in year 10, i have been replaced by this b***h i just want to knock the f**k out of, and hse has stolen everyone from me. so now i've gone back to being loner....woooh not! I just wanna knock the f**k out of everyone who has bullied me. or none the less, i want to kill myself. I can't handle this bullying that goes on anymore. I already cut and sometimes stab myself. so i can't wait till the day i friggin go to far and die.

sorry just needed somewhere to vent.

Loading...

coli-poli217733 over a year ago

ok so i know this is going to sound like some hippy bs, but its really really not, please give me a chance. think of life like this, the universe is a whole, it all works together, and does what it does for some explainable reason, but what ever it is, it all flows together. The more negative thoughts people put out, the more negativity there is going to be in the universe. You have been judged so unfairly your entire life, along with so many other people, who knows why it is this way, but it is, whatever the reason is, it was meant to be, the universe through you into this life for some reason, to teach your soul a lesson possibly, to get you to where you need to go possibly. like for example, my dad walked out on my family multiple times for drugs, yes it was shitty and unfair, but if he hadn't done it, i wouldn't be where i am today. this life you are living is part of a bigger plan. just put good thoughts out there, try to stay positive. the world is a mean place when you try to be just yourself, everyone of those people is so caught up in the media's lies, saying you have to be one way or your "wierd" and "a loser" or "not cool". seriously, do not worry about them any more, just worry about yourself. do meditation, learn to cope with your anger. i too have anger issues, and i'm dealing with them, and honestly it took me a long time to get to where i am mentally, and i'm still not where i want to be, but ever sense i have been thinking positively, and veiwing the universe as one whole, i have been sooo much happier.

so i rambled on, and i have no clue if its possible for anyone to understand that. so if you dont understand part of it you can ask me and ill explain, and if you think its a bunch of c**p i understand.

i hope you find happiness

Reply

Loading...

shelbylovesyouforever over a year ago

I don't think it's a bunch of sh*t. but thanks anyway to try and get me to see the difference and shiz, But i'm not one for it and i know i sound like a brat, and I'm honestly not, I've just got alot to deal with right now.

Reply

Loading...

coli-poli217733 over a year ago

ok :) feel free to message me anytime though about anything. i kind of understand what ur going through, i mean i didnt go through your exact situation, but i know what it feels like to be bullied, lied to, and used.

Reply

Loading...

Guest over a year ago

Okay, thanks. Means alot [:

Reply

Loading...

Jackson over a year ago

I was bullied a lot too back in high school. All these selfish, stupid pricks starting sh*t all the time for no reason. There was more than one time I fantasized about grabbing one of those fuckers and beating them bloody, maybe break a few fingers or an arm, nose maybe... Anyway, I really hope you're doing better now, you really do sound like a nice person aside from the casual swearing and violent urges.

Reply

Loading...