Murder and Suicidal thoughts are being convincing.

First backround. I am a 14 year old girl who has been thinking about this for 4 years. My brother is 11 as of May. My mom works in the mourning and spends all her time with her friends at the bar. We have 1 terrible roommate. 1 dog, (Squeakers) 2 bearded dragons, 1 Ball Python and 60 some Hissing cockaroaches. (I HATE them.)  

Let's start with the worst, my brother.

He gets up at like 6 (we are homeschooled kinda) and starts play my x-box games (black ops ect.) on volume 30, whitch for my TV is SUPER loud. It has caused me to be late for work. (missing alarms) Then when I get home the place is trashed. So I have to clean it up or I get in trouble. I work and make money for my mom to "barrow" to pay bills. And my mom is fine with me doing all the work. I don't make much but I have enough to pay my share of our low rent in our piece of sh*t house. The thing has a sink with 2 seperate spouts for hot and cold water and is like 3 inches deep. Then he constantly insults me. Fatso, Big Mac, ect but if I dare call him one he get VIOLENT. Punching, kicking BITING. MY mom doesn't care. The worst he has gotten sence he was 5 was grounded from video game for a week. Oh and it gets better 2 days later she lets him out of it. But ME OH NO I "talk back" and grounded and have to scrub the entire house. Right now she is with some guy she met online she has been sent 2 pm it 10 now. To some people she is in a relationship others she isnt and gets in bed with them. (no respect there) My brother is perverted ever word involves balls or penis. Do you know how many times I have been flashed?! My dad (devorced) only wants to fight for us for food stamps. He hasnt had a steady job in 14 years. He chose some w**** over us 4 times now. Dan (roommate) is bossy and always falls for the Collyn is a victim thing. He doesn't even pay rent regularly. He steals cigarestts from my mom. We are broke as f**k. I have no friends because I am homeschooled. My mom doesnt want us in public school because she thinks I will get bullied. Well guess what I went to band and made lots of friends FAST. She says once they get to know me they will laugh. It is the year 2013. NOT 1999. Kids dont bully like they used to. Hell the popular kids aren't even bullys. One named Tyler actually stood up for me when some jerk called me fat. I weight 160lbs. I cant join sports because my mom says I would fail miserably. She calls me whale and other sh*t. I can kick ASS. I cant count the time I kicked Collyns but you know Collyn is stronger. Isis is a pig. She eats too much. I eat MAYBE 2 pbj sandwiches a day. Collyn will eat a whole bag of chip 2 pbjs and 6 hotdogs but nope I am the pig. I have tried starving I went 4 days on 2 sandwiches but gave up. My schooling is even SCHOOL I have done no work in 3 days. I WANT TO GO TO COLLAGE but does my mom care NOOO. I am rarly allowed to leave the house. Because my mommy has to be home. I looked at the stake knives picked one up and pictured my self stabbing Collyn. I started to head near him but Dan came. Everybody says no matter what you love your brother. Not me. I would smile for the first time in years if he died.

No my mom wont pay for a shrink so dont bother there.