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I know what I will say now might be crazy and a lot of you might not believe me, but please i need help, I wouldn't write if I wasn't in desperate need for an answer.

I live in a place were people talk a lot and I come from a well known family, I love my parents so much and can never harm them and I'd rather kill myself than see a tear out of my mum's eyes... 2 weeks ago I was raped by a family member (not dad) and I honestly couldn't tell anyone about it because it's shameful, so i hid my tears and i didn't show anyone anything.

Now I'm more scared i have missed my period for almost 5 days, I had the guts to go ask the guy who raped me, he said "you can't be pregnant i didn't cum inside of you, maybe it's someone else"

I beg you, I can't go to a doctor here and I can't do any tests since I have mentioned, my family is so well-known most of the doctors here know my family so well, I don't want people to talk.

If I was pregnant, I must do self abortion even if it coast my life.

please advise

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The first thing you need to do is to make sure that your pregnant. Have a friend get you the test.
There is no such thing as a self abortion.
Why in the world would you even consider risking your own life to spare a little discomfort that your family may have. If you think that it would upset them if they found out that you may be pregnant, what would happen to them if you were no longer with them?
You need to say something to your mom/dad about the rape. I am sure they will help, after the initial reaction wears off. Of course they will be shocked, but once the smoke clears i am sure you will be surprised how mom can swing into action.
Wagging tongues and pointing fingers is a natural response, especially if your family is well known in your community. But no one would even have to know if you have made the decision to abort. (if your even pregnant) Give mom a chance, you need her now and i am sure she will be able to help you.
Rape is rape, it's not your fault. Tell her. Even if your not pregnant, a crime was committed against you.
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Please don't try to harm yourself, you need to talk to your parents. They will understand, trust me they love so much, that they will understand the way you feel too. You may not even be pregnant it could be stress. Talk to someone you love.
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Now is when you have to be strong. No family is perfect and the only reason people would make any scene about your family would be because they don't want to remember there own family issues. Planned Parenthoods are good options. Go with a friend, who you trust, and if anyone asks say you were going to your friend's doctors apt with her. They can't point fingers for being thoughtful. If they tell anyone that you were there, that is a violation of your patient confidentiality laws and they could be majorly sued for doing such a thing. Once there find out if you are pregnant and then see what your options are. Trying to self abort should not even be an option. There are much safer ways of handling it, again that is if you are pregnant. I agree with bbfeet9 that it could be just stress. When your body is going through too much and knows that you can't handle more, it will sometimes delay your period so that you can get over the stress and then deal with your period. If you really are too afraid of going just now, wait a couple days, try to relax and see what happens.
Also you were raped. You have the right to speak up. Although you think by not telling it would make everything easier, think about this. You are probably not the only person he has ever or will ever rape. If you don't do something to stop him, that pain you are feeling right now will be with someone, or many others as well. You must do what is right. Find whatever relative or confident friend or even a teacher (surprisingly teachers are actually very good confidential mentors as well) and let them know what is going on. Ask for advice on what they think the next best step is going to be and then go from there. If you still don't feel comfortable with talking to someone.... remember that the man took advantage of you, he used you and you don't want him to just get away with it. Even though he is family, he obviously doesn't love you if he treats you that way. Also if he is family, you would want him to get help. People who rape are sick and are in need of help. By letting someone know what happened, and your family member being taken to jail, then he can get the help he needs to not be a rapist anymore... After remembering all of that, think again if you should really keep your mouth shut. It obviously is a big deal to you that you were raped (or you wouldn't have posted about it) and it would be just as big of a deal to the next girl that he rapes. Remember that you did nothing wrong. You were a victim and were overpowered. You are not at fault. You were used and now you need to make sure that no one else is taken advantage of in the same way you were.
I hope all of this helps you out. You are strong and you will make it through all of this. In the end some other news story will come up and all of this will just be a bad memory.
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