problems with teenage daughter

louise · Silver Member Joined: 21 Oct 2000 Posts: 290

Hello everybody. My husband and I divorced a year ago. We have a daughter who just turned 16. Lately she started acting really weird, wouldn’t listen to anything I or my ex-husband said. She is going out every night with some new friends whom I am not very fond of, drinking, and staying out late. I tried to talk to her but she just tells me to mind my own business. Is it possible that she is hurt cos of the divorce and acting so rebellious. My ex- husband and I are still friends and we are not neglecting her. How can I help her? Any suggestions ?

prosser · Newbie Joined: 29 Jun 2005 Posts: 12

Hello! It must be hard for you not being able to talk to your daughter but I don’t think you should be so worried. Every teenager has this period and if you try to put a stop to it, you will just drive her away. It would be best if you kept quiet, and tried to be there for her in case she needs you….This way you can get back the communication and trust.

Shygrl096 · Newbie Joined: 07 Nov 2006 Posts: 2

Dont worry. Im still a teenager myself and I was at that stage. Its kinda the part where you want to figure out your life. She also could be hanging out with the wrong people in some cases. Shes just trying to be a teenager and not have her mommy by her side all the time. Even though she loves you more then life she wants to feel grown up. When she tells you to mind your buisness she could just be shy to talk about things or she just doesnt want you to know.

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she's doing drugs

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Surely doing drugs and everything else she can lay her hands on ... I did the same when my parents split. Bad Idea to divorce if you have kids you don't realize the damage you do....I changed a lot since my parent's split just starting to get my life together now after 8 years I was also 16. I turned into a monster for a while not caring about anybody or anything still am in a way I guess I am screwed for life thanks to my parents but I am not angry anymore unless my parents bring up the topic.
With your child being a girl you are in shit for sure take action TOGETHER and show her some love or she will get pregnant to some loser and wreck her life

tanchris · Newbie Joined: 17 Jan 2007 Posts: 13

It may be your divorce that has emotionally hurted her. Or maybe she just
wants to have her own life, wants to have her time alone with her friends. As
a teenager, teens tend to put their time with parents aside and place them
on their friends' side. That's what I felt as a teenager. I prefer to have my
time with my friends rather than my family, it's a feeling within me that
makes me feel that I'm having more fun. But surely a "no-no" to drugs,
drinking, smoking and other negative activities.

About the drinking and some other things that you aren't fond of that your
daughter is doing. Maybe you might want to tell her what is the consequences
and you could take someone for an example maybe your relatives or
friends about something uncongenial had happened to them for drinking,
smoking, taking drugs, etc. You've to find a way to convince her about the
bad side effects of her actions. Or if you can't manage to do that,
she'll sustain her 'not a good choise' action when she realizes what it is doing to herself.

All right, I wish you all the best and hopefully you will succeed in your
aspirations.

With best regards,
Chris.

Hazeleyedbabigurl · Newbie Joined: 15 Mar 2007 Posts: 20

ok..i am in the same situation...basically, my parents are also divorced...i am 17 and i think every teenager goes through this stage..its normal, but i do think you need to talk to her no matter if she tells you to mind your own business or not. Not all teenagers have the same type of rebellion. some teenagers like me do it because they know they can get away with it, but they dont do it to hurt anyone, and they dont do it to the point of getting in a lot of trouble...then again my best friend is going through the same thing because she is also 17 and her parents are going through a divorce right now...its like she hates everyone and she never wants to be around anyone any more, but when she does get around people she thinks she has to drink and get high to take all of her problems away even though she knows they will still be there in the end. she does drugs and drinks now alot more than she used to...she used to do it on special occasions, but now its all she ever wants to do and she takes pills all the time now. even though she is telling you to mind your own business i think you should talk to her because she is only hurting herself in the end, and later on down the line she is going to regret everything.... hope i was some help!!!

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CRABS

carrie189 · Newbie Joined: 08 Apr 2007 Posts: 11

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1. Has you daughter had a drop in her school grades?
2. Has she been verbally abusive to you ?
3. Has she been going out more than staying in and not bringing friends
home?
4. Do you have difficulty getting her to do simple household chores and
homework?
5. Do you find yourself picking your word carefully around her?
6. Are you beginning to worry that she may not even finish high school?
7. Does she seem at times depressed and withdrawn?
8. Can you admit to yourself that she is sometimes manipulative with you?
9. Do you suspect that she may be be telling you lies?
10. Are you concerned that she is sexually active?
11. Have yo ever suspected that you had money missing from your purse?
12. Do you lack trust in your teen?
13. When dealing with your daughter do you often feel powerless?

If you answered yes to any or all of these questions your daughter is very finding the support she needs from the wrong places; very likely drugs and friends who do not share your values.

This is all to common during the teen years and parents need to stick together. My son did much the same thing. His sister put his story on ra.parentshelpingteens.com

I hope that this helps.

LV

problems with teenage daughter

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