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i am a mother for a 13 years old daughter, her weight is almost 85 kg, i tried so many diets with her but no success till now, she drops only two or three kilos & gain them again, i made hormone analysis for her but all is normal. i am really concerned about her health & i need someone to help.

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Have you heard of the term 'puppy fat'?
Your beautiful daughter may just lose it all naturally in a couple of years. I believe that when we ask our children to diet we partially say to them that they are not good enough. Perhaps you could encourage her to partake in more physical activities; soccer, tennis, running, swimming etc
These things are more fun than worrying about calorie counting. Also, children learn from us. What can we change about ourselves that our children may learn better from our actions.
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I am also a mother of a 13 year old daughter who is overweight. i feel the same way as you do and it is so hard not to be able to help her succeed in losing the weight. I also try ways to help but nothing seems to work. I walk 2-3 miles a day and eat healthy. i am trying to be an example to her at this point. Not sure what to do but continue to pray about it at this point. I know she is very unhappy with her body and it hurts to see her like this...
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Hi Mothers of 13 year old girls,

Boy we should start a club! I am in the same situation. It is so hard to find ways to motivate them without feeling like you are on their case all the time. My daughter and I end up in fights (just a little yelling) because she gets so upset when i tell her she can't have something. I have tried to get her to exercise regularly to no avail. I have planned out menus, taken her to weight watchers, tried getting her to exercise with me and all I get is "maybe later." I just hate seeing her get bigger and bigger. The doctor and nutritionist I took her too just say, "you just need to eat a variety and get moving". No Kidding!! It doesn't take a medical degree to know that! The problem is HOW to get my daughter to know how important eating healthy and exercising is without making her feel bad. Any suggestions would be helpful
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Given I know this is a old topic, but after reading this. I think you all should be ashamed of your selfs. As mothers, your suppose to love your child no matter what. Now, Im not saying you don't love your children, but your loving them the wrong way. I know that your wanting to help them. BUT, as a person whom was 13 and over weight. My father tried to do all the things you where listing in your comments above. And, it caused me to have a small complex. I didn't think, I was good enough. I didn't feel like he cared, I felt fat and ugly because my parents the ones whom are suppose to love me no matter if im 10 foot tall and twenty pounds, or 4 foot tall and two hundred. Where basically saying Im fat.
I just now got over these problems, with mass amounts of therapy and group counsoling with my parents. (Im 22) Do you really want your child to feel that your pointing out there flaws? Trust me, at 13 there not blind, there most likely very aware of there size, and most likely very subconciouse of it, you doing all of these things, to them and trying to "help" them, is most likely causing them even more problems.
Again, im not questioning your love for your children, because you wouldn't be worried about them if you didn't. Just, your doing it the wrong way. Be a good parent, and love your child no matter what size they are and stop bringing it up to them, and take the focuss off there weight. Plus, if your children are like me I dropped most of my weight around 15.
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you should be ashamed saying that we should be ashamed whe are you
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Hi, I'm the same age as your beautiful Daughter.
I find it's good that you're trying too help her, But this is something she really needs too want if its gonna work.
Me, My self was an overweight child. I asked for help and yes my mother did help me but she didn't have allot of info at that moment.
So I dissuaded too lose the weight in an unhealthy way and I did almost end up in the Hospital. But enough with me, I would take an hour or two and talk to her about how she feels about her self and about other things that involves in that subject. Then after you guys have talked about it ask her if she is ready for this long journey , explain to her how it wont happen in just a few days it will take a year and so to get to were she would like to be but thats okay cause in the middle of the experience she'll see that yeah it's okay too be slime but not too much because your body need some fat and etc.. to survive =)

From: a 13 year old Girl :-D
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I have a 13 year old myself I agree with the 22 year old, my daughter told it hurt when somebody tell them they are fat. What I do I told her that she need to be healthy because when a child is overweight they get sick easily and told her that I don't want that to happen to her because I love her so much. I always tell her that everyday that she need to be healthy so she won't get sick, and now she joins track and field and loosing weight I even told her I don't care about her figure I just want her to be healthy.
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Oh wow, what a hot topic. First, I understand the mothers wanting to help. Having been overweight, may I suggest a possibility? Maybe the daughters would love to lose weight but it's just too hard! I have a friend whose son is a high school football player. He's big and a guard and would like to lose weight so he gets another position (other than guard). She knew I lost a lot of weight using the R&D Diet Cookies and she started on them, mostly just snacking on them throughtout the day. She started to lose weight and her son noticed and he asked to use the cookies. He has them for breakfast and snacks on them between meals. He has started to lose weight and is motivated by how easy it is. The cookies are high protein/fiber/whole grain and really satisfy hunger and cravings so he is not as tempted to make bad choices. Once he noticed how easy it was to incorporate the cookies into his life and once he started losing weight it just kind of snow-balled. Hope this helps!
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My daughter is 17 and has gained alot of weight in the last 6 months. I have read the postings and I'm gonna say these kids do want help. They don't want to be overweight. They get told they are overweight by their peers. My daughter cries every night for me to help her. I have tried everything except medication to help her lose weight. I have told her I love her just the way she is but that is not what she wants to hear. These kids want help. The question is how do you help them? We are not with them every minute of the day. And the thing is if you don't help them lose the weight it's possible the may find a drastic way theirselves & that can be dangerous. My daughter has said on numerous occasions that when she is old enough she will get on diet pills. That scares me. I am trying desperately to help her. I use to just ignore her but I know have to do something & I'm not sure what that is yet. I have failed at everything I've tried.
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WOW! You should applaud these parents for caring enough to try to help their children, and even going as far as asking others for suggestions on how to do it in a gentle loving way. It is our job as mothers (parents) to do something when we realize there is a problem. Right now these kids have no self control and no real concept of the consequences of being overweight, so we have to take charge. What are we suppossed to do.... wait until they are in highschool, 300lbs, getting made fun of, and have medical problems and irreversible damage!? When they already have the bad habits, can't lose the weight, and are asking you, "mom why did you let me get like this." To me, that would be neglect and child abuse! So whats worse? A parent trying to find loving ways to help their child be healthy and talking to them about it, orrrrrrrr....... letting them suffer and go through the hell of being made fun of!?
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I also have a 13 year old overweight daughter, I love her and think she is beautiful. However, it kills me when all she wants is to loose weight, no matter what we have done she just does not seem to loose weight. We've tried weight watchers method, cutting junk(chips, chocolate, sugar) she drinks plenty of water- I just don't know how else I can help her! She often blames me for cooking things she doesn't want to eat (pastas, potatoes) etc. She just now @ 13 got her period, so I keep telling her from now till 18 she will slowly and healthily loose weight if she were to just change her eating habits eat healthy and exercise everyday- she will find she will become healthier and happier with her body!!!
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i have a 14 nearly 15 year old daughter who is overweight. she is desperate to loose weight but is very reluctant to go outside walking/cycling with me incase "ANYONE SEES HER". she doesent go places with her friends because she can't wear the same types of clothes her peers do. don't get me wrong she has a number of really good friends who don't care about her weight but it's her self esteem and low opinion of herself that stops her from socialising with her friends. she is so depressed about her weight that she cries herself to sleep regularly. she says why can't she be "NORMAL"... does anyone know what i can do to help her because i am very worried about her..
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My daughter was over weight at 13 and is still over weight at 16. So not true for every one.
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So what your saying is that we should just love our children even though they are weighing in at a weight that is labelled obese. Even though Doctors are telling us that they are at risk of Diabeties and Heart Disease. That we should do nothing when they are eating themselves to death. We are not asking for slim athletes, we are just wanting to help them to be healthy. You may have had parents who called you names, but a mother (like me) who just wants the best for her child should love them for who they are (of course we do) but that does not mean we have to love the behavior.
My daughter has always been over weight and we have always said she looks beautiful and filled her with encouragement, but that is all taken away by other children at school. No Mother wants to see her child bullied for years and do nothing about it. We are not the ones calling them fat, it is society and thats not gonna change.
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