Single father needs women's advice on 14yo daughter!!

Hi there

First thing first, kudos on raising a daughter single handed - it is a task meant for the brave. Having said that I must also remind you that once she uses a Dildo, she won't be a virgin anymore - just in case she inserts it in her Vagina.

It is quite natural to be curious about sex and feelings it might hold. There are other ways to pleasure - as in masturbation with a water jet running over private area.

Before you let her buy a dildo, be straightforward on just what lies ahead - loss of virginity. There maybe a case of overindulgence and she maynot be able to have pleasure from real penetrative sex. But, not a bad idea about demanding a dildo

If I may notice, you have really opened a relationship with your daughter. If I were you, I would be really uncomfortable in this case.  I do know that children masturbation is something that is perfectly normal, but this is something that you should talk to her and tell her that you are OK with it but that this is something that she needs to think about alone. I know that someone will tell you that you have an amazing relationship with your daughter, but I think that it would be easier to talk to your son if you had it, for example.

As an old father I want to say my hat's off to you. It sounds like you two have a great relationship. I feel the appropriateness of it really depends on your understanding of her mindset. To me the virgin aspect is an individual thing. Maybe she doesn't even want to insert it but destroying a hymen with a dildo hardly constitutes having sex which to me is the loss of virginity. I'm sure other people feel that the destruction of the hymen in any way means loss of virginity. I was a teen in the 50s and virginity was certainly a big topic back then. I never expected any girl I dated or eventually married was required to be a virgin. In fact I didn't feel her previous sex life was any of my business, only that she was with me now. But those things are definitely something for you to discuss with her before she gets one as the guy she eventually meets will have his own opinion about what constitutes virginity. As long as she is aware of those aspects I see no reason not to get her what she wants. If she wants to experiment/practice to discover what she likes best I'm all for it. I think she will make a wonderful lover for her man if he is up to being her equal.

About the mother thing: personally I would feel more comfortable discussing things with a daughter and answering her questions than with a son. But I feel my wife's mother did more to destroy our sex life together than anything. Of course I don't know if her father would have been any better.

she's not a child. She is a teen - an adolescent. Masturbation is perfectly normal. I don't understand why people call teenagers, "child"
Please treat all Teens as young adults. You will find you get more from that than by treating them like young children who need supervision from parents all the time till they are 18!! That is crazy and unproductive

I bought my 9 year old daughter a small vibrator. She still enjoys it at 11 :)

Thats wrong advice. Using a vibrator does not take away virginity.
I think you are being very restrictive and unhelpful. That is bad and very wrong advice. Masturbation is very normal and never harmful.

That's very progressive Sarah. Did she know how to use it at 9? I know girls start masturbating early on but I wouldnt think she would have been able to use a vibrator. I think you have been extremely broadminded and kudos to you.
I know I must have been closer to 10 when I started masturbating.

I totally agree

You are RIGHT. Penis in vagina is the medical and true definition of losing one's virginity.

You are a great dad. I wish I had one like you. I would give her a catalogue and ask her to choose one and then you can order it for her. 

Thank you, I just cant understand why people think masturbation is bad. Thats so old fashioned and outdated advice.