Becoming A Single Mother By Choice Through Pregnancy And Birth: Insemination Options And Choosing Your Sperm Donor

Choosing Your Sperm Donor

Some women choose to go with a known donor, which is basically what it says on the tin: someone you know personally. For some, this choice ensures that they know the character and medical history of the donor, while others specifically choose donors who are willing to play some role in the child's life — as an "uncle figure" or so they can ask him questions face to face when they feel the need. The term "known sperm donor" can also refer to someone who provided their identity to a sperm bank. Children usually gain access to this information when they turn 18, so this is also known as "identity-release donor".

Other women decide to go with a sperm bank. Sperm banks offer you the opportunity to browse through a catalog of available donors. You'll find out basic information about the donor's medical history and physical attributes as well as whether they are going to be an anonymous donor or are willing to supply their identity (regulations about ID-release vs anonymous sperm donors vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction).

Now, depending on the type of donor you choose, different insemination options may be available. 

Single Mothers By Choice: Your Insemination Options

The most simple, no-frills option is intravaginal insemination. This involves depositing the donor sperm into the vagina using a syringe. Women who are using a donor they know personally may do this in the comfort of their own home, while ovulating or a day or so beforehand. (Always have known donors checked for sexually transmitted diseases beforehand!) Vials of sperm can usually only be sent to fertility clinics or other medical facilities because a medical professional has to sign off on them. If you are using a sperm bank, this may limit your options and you may have to have your insemination done at a clinic.

Intrauterine insemination (IUI) is a slightly more involved procedure during which sperm is placed directly into the uterus, as the term suggests. Sperm used for IUI has to go through a "sperm washing" procedure, as the prostaglandins present in unwashed sperm irritate the uterus. IUI is usually administered in combination with fertility drugs, commonly Clomid. Not only is this an advantage for women who have ovulation disorders, it also gets a woman on a predictable menstrual cycle that makes timing the IUI procedure much easier. In the US, the cost of intrauterine insemination is generally up to $5000 per cycle, including Clomid.

IVF, invitro fertilization, is not going to be necessary for single mothers by choice unless they also have fertility issues or are older. In the latter case, some women who want to be SMCs may also consider using an egg donor. IVF is most certainly the most expensive option.

One final option I don't really even want to mention is so-called "natural insemination", or having intercourse with the donor. The vast majority of potential SMCs will find the very thought repulsive, but don't be surprised if potential donors suggest it to you.