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This is my situation, I am married and I am in the processed of getting divorced. I have been separated for almost 3 years now and at the moment I am living with my BF ( 2 years) . He is great and I love him very much, he is very responsible and hard worker guy. He is a Software Engineer and has a very good job and 2 houses. I am 29 years old and he is 37. We get along and we have a good relationship. Since I was very young I always felt that I never wanted to have children. Was never into Motherhood and I still feel the same way. Never really feel like I was made to be a mother. Do not have any nephews or nieces. I love children but I always felt they were not for me. To much work and to much responsibilities and at the end to me they are not worth it ! However my boyfriend is a family type guy and said that to me from the very beginning that he wanted children and I was very honest to him and I let him know how I felt about it. Since I feel such great love for him and I knew he could be a great father my feelings towards motherhood started to SLIGHTLY change, not to much though. Well I have been on the pill for 10 years and never got pregnant but I was so sick of taking it for so long that I decided to stop without saying anything to my BF.
I was diagnosed with Pelvic Inflammatory decease 2 years ago and I was told that it could cause a women to become sterile, plus none of my siblings have had any children and they are way older than me so all that together led me to think that I was sterile as well. So deep inside my heart I thought that pregnancy was not a possibility or least after man many treatments, so I thought that I will leave to God's hands. Well after just 2-3 month of being off the pill I got pregnant and I am shocked never in my worsts nightmares I could ever think that I could get pregnant. I am so shocked and disappointed that I am thinking about getting an abortion. I always thought I was a sterile woman for many reasons and here I am pregnant planning on a abortion. I definitely feel that this is not what I want ( being pregnant)but at the same time I feel guilty because it is completely my fault but do not think I am ready for this and never will , I do not have any attachment to the baby and just the thought of being a mother freaks me out . I love my life the way it is my freedom and there so much stuff that I want to do but I will not be able to after the child is born. My BF thinks that abortion is a good option as well . My family and his are so way to happy and I do not want to disappoint them but again for them is easy because they will only see them once o twice a year !. Just as side note my family live in a different country and as well as his meaning that I will not have much support from other people just my BF and I. I will not quit my job so the child should be in child care all day. Is it even worth it? Please do not judge me

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OMGosh what a horrible thing to say to someone who asked NOT to be judged. 
Listen llalla98 - the only reason you need is the one you have. You do not want this baby. You are not a baby killer. This is your choice and we are lucky to have a choice . the earlier you do it the better but don't rush the decision. although it sounds to me that you already have a clear answer on what you want to do. 
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Hi llalla98, I am a worker at a pregnancy help center and can tell you that abortion is not a good option. There are many loving families that would love to adopt your child as well as crisis pregnancy centers in most cities that can help with any support you would need if you decide to keep your child. Though having a child is life changing, so is having an abortion. Many women who have abortions suffer great psycological trama and feel emptiness and guilt after the experience. Giving your baby life is the greatest sign of love. I hope you find the love and support you need to make a life giving decision!!  ***this post is edited by moderator *** *** web addresses not allowed***Please read our Terms of Use

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I didn't even finish reading your statement cause I didn't have to. Keep your child its Gods gift to you. I aborted mine and I wish I didn't cause I miss it. Now I'm tryin to get pregnant with my boyfriend now n and its taking time. Seems like a good man go with it!
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llalla98

My husband and I have a child that was a miracle. My husband and I are both cursed with fertility problems. We are desperate to give our son a sibling after 5 years. We have tried to look into even adopting, but it isn't easy. There are many desperate families who were meant to adopt by mothers who simply could not keep children for there lifestyle. Please consider adoption. Many couples and mothers end up feeling better having gone this route, and even change their mind when the baby comes. God bless you, and your decision. I know how your husband must feel, and how eager it is to have a desire for a family. If you run into problems with this, please consider this option for the rest of us, who would do willingly help. Or email me at _[removed]_

P.S. I'm 29 and my husband is 37 as well!!!
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Ilalla98 - i can see where you are coming from. when my husband and i were trying for a baby i did question if i really did want a baby now, what changes would happen in my life as a result, etc - and im a family girl lol i initially wanted 6 children (now settling for 4 if possible lol) but it is completely normal to have those thoughts and feelings, especially when  you are going through a big event (divorce) in your life and have something good going for you, also keeping into account your lack of desire to build a family will also lead to doubt about your readiness.

your final question "is it worth it?" - it is. having children is not always the most glorious thing in the world for everyone, and there are many, many times that as mothers we think "why did we do this??" and then the children in their innocence grow and mature everyday, making you laugh at their accomplishments and marvel at their resilience. you may find that when you do have children you may like to work part-time or your boyfriend may like to be stay-at-home-Dad.

while the psyhcological/medical world does not recognise Post-Abortion Syndrome, i know many counsellors who have supported women who exhibit the symptoms and other women who have had abortions telling their stories of grief and terror. many experience issues the next day, within a year, two - but many do not experience issues until 10 years or more for various reasons.

i suggest delving into your core beliefs of what it means to be a mother, even if the best decision you do is to give your child a chance with a family who love them.

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were not judgeing.all babies in the womb have life,no matter how many weeks you are pregaunt,

 ***post is edited by moderator ***inappropriate posting*** Please read our Terms of Use

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