30 things you'll never hear a woman say.

30 Things You'll Never Hear a Woman Say
>
>1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for
>ignoring me.
>2. The new girl in my office is a real beauty, and a stripper too, I
>invited
>
>her over for dinner on Friday.
>3. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and
>missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.
>4. Bar food again! Kick ass.
>5. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.
>6. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over
>and
>
>talk to her.
>7. Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have
>to mess with it anymore.
>8. I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want'em?
>9. It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.
>10. Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare
>ass.
>11. My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for
>you and your friends.
>12. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it
>again.
>13. Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and beer.
>14. You are so much smarter than my father.
>15. If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch football.
>16. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?
>17. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.
>18. You're so sexy when you're hung over.
>19. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.
>20. Let's subscribe to Hustler.
>21. I'll be out painting the house.
>22. I love it when you ride your Harley, I just wish you had more time to
>ride.
>23. Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!
>24. No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.
>25. Your mother is way better than mine.
>26. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself
>something.
>27. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire.
>28. You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night
>feedings.
>29. Look! My ass is fatter than yours!
>30. Let's get rid of my friends and keep all of yours.

I've actually said some of these. Does that make me a man?