alcohol blackouts over the last few months

I've probably blacked out 3 times in the last 5 years, but the pain I cause when it happens and the shame I feel the following day is paralyzing.  I was at a friends birthday/halloween party the other night and apparently made quite the spectacle of myself.  I remember most of the beginning of the evening, but then there is a couple of hours that I don't, but then remember the end of the night.  I'm married and have three kids and my husband was with me.  Well, apparently I tried to pick up someone else's husband, broke a few bottles in her driveway, hit another friend we all drove with, cried and screamed, and I guess not only did I tell everyone that  I hated my husband, but apparently I said that I couldn't leave him because he would kill me.  This was all before I hit on another woman there.  What the hell happened and who the hell possessed my body for that time?  I ruined my her party, I know I did.  The feeling you have when you open your eyes the next morning the dread in your heart is one of the worst feelings I've ever had.  You try to recall and you try to put things together, but there's nothing there.  Just blackness and emptyness.  But again, it's the shame associated with it.  Yesterday morning, my husband wouldn't talk to me and I was afraid to ask what happened.  Today we spoke.  He of course forgives me, because he loves me, but I'm embarrased for him.  I can't imagine what he was feeling.  I don't drink often.  When I do drink, it's white wine.  It can be caused because I might not eat much that day, or it can be caused because I drank too fast.  To know there were people there that I had just met that night, and to know that the judgment they passed on me because of my behavior is so humiliating.  I made a fool out of myself and I just had to write it all down.  Maybe reading this back to myself will help to make sure this doesn't happen again. 

She'll have another party next year, and I won't go.  How could I?  This is when actions of one night have long term side effects.

I can relate, " The actions of one night can have devastating lasting effects." It is humilating and shamefull to have other people whitness such out of control behavoir, I have balcked out a few times as an adult occasional drinker. Too fast Too much? Who knows. Because for me as well it seems random, it can happen with whisky /wine or beer. All of the above. I feel mortified and ashamed at my behaviors. I did not know why my guy was made at me, until he pointed out the elephant in the room. He is the top dog and I reflect on him and I should feel like a fool. I get really frisky when I am drinking. I have known this a long time, I try to control it when I know what I am doing. I am divorced and I do know this played a part in it. I can be so normal and shy when sober but when I drink I drink fast like it is Kool Aide ( I do not mean too.) I feel so low today I do not want to attend the next event at all, but know one has to face the mirro at some point. I want to personnal apologize for my terrible terrible behavoir and he wants me to be silent and forget about it. I also think people do not belive us when we black out, they belive you just do not want to claim it, like your ashamed so if I cant remember you can blame me. Bull S&*T we do not remember and wish none of you did either. OMFG REALLY !!REALLY !!This is not and was not me, I think it was the 19 year old shy girl at the wild biker party came back to haunt me, get drunk and join the fun!! OMG

I have been researching blackouts because I've just started having them.. But mine are do to excessive drinking... But I had really bad ones violet & mean when I drink whiskey I will Blackout horriable & do crazy nutty stuff. I have to think, what else have I done? But once I start I will drink until someone tells me no more. I'm not like that EVER sober. But I take a certain medication that also reacted to whatever I drank and if I drink alot. I never knew it and that is what made them start and the I when through a death and I just drank... I will never forget my last drunk - it was my last blackout. I'm still freaked out about it

Id like to refer to a comment above about monitoring patterns. I've done that after last night. In a one year span, I've had roughly twelve blackout, majority being of aggressivnature. Thankfully, I've never been hurt, but three times I've been a complete fool and embarrassed myself. I woke up today and said to myself , "you must stop." Drinking is not for me. I can't change the past, but I can control the present to make the future look better for me, a father and husband. I hope that this comment inspires somebody.

White wine blackouts happen to both my sister and I with Pinot Grigio, some but not all, there is definnitely something in the wine, I had a more expensive one ($20) and it didn't happen, it seems as little as three glasses and there is memory loss. I am glad I am not the only one, a good reason to drink good wine!!!

I am in the exact same boat, I have 2 small children and I am a social drinker only. I don't drink during the week or even most weekends. I only drink with friends or family. I have drank to excess a few months ago and have NO recollection of the evening. Since then I have been very careful of the amount and still doesn't help. My husband is getting very worried about me and I am worried myself. I need answers and "Stop drinking" isn't what I am looking for!

I am so glad I found this site, over the last few months on 3 occasions when I've gone out I seem to be fine drinking, then after a certain point I have no memory.  This has never happened to me in all the years I've been going out socially drinking and I'm 35,  I've tried eating before, I've tried changing my drinks, I've worked out how much I've drank and its not even been that much....compared years ago when I was younger I could drink so much on a night out and this has never happened to me.... I'm really worried.... why is this happening now to me??

My brother had tequilla twice, BOTH times he ended up ilegaly driving because he blacked out! Charges pending :( hes only 23

My research and personal experience is that fatigue has a large part to play in memory formation. I can recall one black out where I have been up for 18 hours for travel and the went to a party a friends. Two beers in i didn't remember the next five hours before they said I went to bed.
This happened again this weekend after working crazy long hours then hanging out and having a few drinks. I blacked out for a few hours before falling asleep.
Luckily no bad behavior happened but I believe when you are tired you're brain will go on "stand by mode" while you kinda go on auto pilot.
I'm not a heavy or even moderate drinker. maybe two glasses of wine a week so when I do drink more than typical it's strains the body and will amplify any fatigue I feel