Ive posted on here about 1 million times but I don't know what answer I'm looking for anymore. I have always been attracted to boys ever since I was little always had crushes on boys always had fantasies about kissing Harry potter from some strange reason always would make up scenarios in my head about going on cute dates, always loved cute things to do with boys. I've always had feelings for a certain boy ever since year 6 and I'm now in year 9. Although around about December last year someone asked me if I was a lesbian because i think I jokingly said I'm a lesbian with no thoughts of even being one so someone asked me if I was one and ever since then I've been so paranoid the first thoughts were how my life would be over and how I would have to come out to everyone and that was that. Then the actual gay thoughts popped in and I was so disgusted by them, I didn't want them in my life at all. I was still paranoid thinking I was gay etc. Now it's been about 4 months and I'm still obsessing over the fact that I'm gay or bi now? Like I know I'm defiantly not a lesbian but now I've changed to thinking Im bi. I've completely lost all my attractions to boys and actually get freaked out now. But I'm not freaked out about girls anymore? Like licking a vagina EVEN though I do not even want to do it I'm scared that if I was I would get aroused by it. I'm scared that if I were to ever have sex with a boy that I would not like it at all. I've confused myself so much omfg. I mean it just doesn't make sense all because of that one question I've re-thought my whole love life thinking maybe I was a lesbian or bi the whole time. I'm starting to look at girls a lot not but I think it's just because I've obsessed over this one whole subject and it's changeda everything for me. I just want to be straight and then I feel as if no I don't I mean no I do no I don't. It's just confused me so much like I'll see the hottest boy and think I don't even care and then I see a really pretty girl and think aww she's so pretty but that's it. I was depressed over this subject for awhile but I've kinda gotten out or the depression and now I'm alright with everything but just not this I was hoping once I got out of depression all my thoughts about guys would come back! But they just haven't I'm also so very crazy and obsessive over stuff. I used to be mental about my weight I would always look at my body and compare it to other girls who have great figures and think I'm so fat even thougH I was just as skinny as them but I wouldn't see it. I would always look whilst I was at dancing at my figure and just stare at it and not concentrate I just don't know? Am I bi or lesbian at first I thought I was a lesbian but now I'm thinking I'm bi. I don't want to date a girl but now I'm so confused whether I want a boyfriend anymore ever even when I grow up? Please help me!
sometimes there isnt much of an answer. one shouldnt be ashamed to have homosexual thoughts, a lot of people do. you are probably fine and absolutely normal. concentrate on being happy and your own exploration for now.
I used to think the same thing. i'm a guy almost the same age as you. I'm completely straight but when i was a little younger i started thinking about gay things. I was scared to so i asked my friends and they said the same. just because you have these types of thoughts doesn't mean that you are whatever your're thinking. at our age our brains are naturally curious and we cant really control what we think. It'll be OK though
Here is a little advice from a very old man. If you give yourself a little more time and relax your inner-self will make it clear what you want to know. We can "not accept" our inner feelings and try to be something we are not. This might not even apply to you, but its true. Just relax and enjoy being young and let nature take its path. I feel strongly that given the time and disposition your true path will make it self known. Now you can deny your inner feelings and soul, but some have defined that as "in the closet". That too might have nothing to do with you. Bottom line----relax and just give it a little more time...the truth will come out on its own, trust yourself!