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I am a teenager who has had a previous self harm problem. I did this as a form of sick, self punishment whenever my parents faught. I had this habit from the time I was ten till I was fourteen, and now that I am nearly 17 the issues seem to just pile on. About once a month, I have an uncontrollable urge to cry. Its devastating and lasts for two hours to three, and all the while I have to resist picking up something to beat myself with or cut myself. Therapy, something I used to attend, made it seem worse since the woman just basically told me it was all my fault. She told me I possibly had a tendency to go into a manic depressive state, bur everywhere I look 'manic' and 'depressive' seem to go into a category of bipolar dissorder. During this time I feel comepletely worthless, and cannot spwak in full sentences due to the sobbing and hiccups, I. hyperventilate on occaision. Please, can any one help me? I can't bear the thought of my parents saying how much of a freak I am if they diagnosed me with bipolar disorder. Because really, they're like that.

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Wunderlust-

I have Bipolar Disorder and your experience sounds quite familiar to my teenager years. I am 22 years old and my symptoms started around 13-14 and steadily gotten worse. I sought help about 7 months ago for my depression, because it was controlling my life. I used to self harm when i was 15-17. I never thought I would be deemed Bipolar, since I am such a laidback person...I just get really depressed. Having bipolar disorder doesn't mean your crazy, though, and have violent mood swings. It means that you do have mood swings but they are longer and more severe than some other people. It means that you have a chemical imbalance in your brain, the same as people with depression have. The only difference is that you also can become manic and become extremely happy. Medication regulates the chemicals in your brain that control your emotions so you won't get so depressed. I take Lamictal and it has helped me sooo much. I finally feel in control of my life and my emotions. I was so sick of my emotions controlling my life. I couldn't do anything while I was depressed. I would have frequent crying spells and become suicidal at times. I told my family and friends that I was bipolar and most of them don't believe me. They don't know what bipolar disorder is really, like most people. A lot of people think it means your insane lol. The best way to tell your parents is to educate them about it. If not, just don't tell them. Tell them your have depression or anxiety issues. Because you do, but it might also be bipolar. But don't tell them that if they don't or just won't understand. I'm sorry your parents fight so much and aren't so understanding. Being a teenager is one of the hardest things you'll ever go through in your life. Just know that seeking help will help you deal with your life. Your almost 17 so you have only a little over a year until you can be free. I grew up with terrible parents so I know how you feel:) Yout therapist sounds like a stupid b*tch (excuse me). My therapist is amazing and has helped me so much, it's amazing. If you don't like your therapist find a new one. They'll help you. You don't have to take medication either. You can just attend therapy. Talk-therapy or cognitive-behavioral therapy does wonders for depression, anxiety, and/or bipolar disorder. Or just for your everyday life issues. It's nice to have someone to talk to, too. Good luck with everything:) I know it's hard, trust me. But it won't last forever. You have to make the choice to get help. No one can make you accept the help but you. It sounds like giving in to some people, but really it's making yourself stronger and wholer as a person. I hope you know what to do:)

-Jess Teel
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Hey I was reading this and I'm 17 and I was diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety disorder last year. I'm on lamictal and an antidepressent too but it doesn't help me much. How do you get through it?
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Idk if you were talking to Jess or myself but I'm not on medication at all. I'm not even clinically diagnosed yet. I've been over a SH addiction for a few years and thought that maybe it was withdrawal from the cutting & beating, but it seems to go more closely to bipolar. I was diagnosed with panic disorder a few years back as well.

But mainly I have two people that support me fairly well and I can talk to them without my parents treating me like a freak.


Jess - thank you so much for the help. My boyfriend is taking me to an appointment with his family doctor soon, and hopefully ill have the situation under control.
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