I am writing this as a guide or reassurance to anyone who has ever had a similar experience with Marijuana. I have been an everyday user for a few years now, mostly smoking. I recently got into edibles and have been using them for a few months on a regular basis. I am 34 years old and just recently got married, had my first child and have an extremely stressful job. I recently found alcohol or marijuana use was becoming an every day crutch for me just to get through the day. I got to the point in which I would get home from work and slam half a fifth of whisky followed by smoking or eating mass quantities of highly potent marijuana just to make it through the few hours I would get to spend with my new family. I got so bad that the second my daughter started crying or my wife stared speaking to me I would become so annoyed it was scary. The annoyance and hatred that would rush through my head about the people I loved more than anything absolutely chilled me to the bone. I had some extremely dark thoughts on a daily basis.

I went on this way for a few months and things kept getting worse. I could not attend any social function whether it be Christmas Eve or a nieces 3rd Birthday Party without stopping on the way there and slamming 3-4 shots of whisky and a few rips off a bowl. This was literally just to get to a level in which I felt comfortable walking through the door and greeting people. Needless to say my life and state of mind was far from healthy.

A few weeks ago I bought some edibles from my regular dispensary and they threw in a couple very strong hash oil pills. I figured what the hell, I would happily give them a try. I was having a very rough night so i decided to take 2 of them at the same time. I was warned not to take more than a half the first time I tried these capsules. 

Within the next few hours I passed out. I woke up the next morning and was basically movement less. I literally could not get off the couch. I drifted in and out of this haze for the next 48 hours. Luckily I took the pills on a Friday night. I had a complete loss of appetite, loss of what was real and what was not, I basically saw my life as an outsider for the entire 48 hours following the ingestion of the hash oil capsules. 

Monday I woke up (Day 3) and felt more like myself, as the day went on things got worse. I was completely sure I had lost my mind and was never going to be myself again. I had constant numbness throughout my entire body, especially my left side. I could not focus on anything for more than a few minutes. I saw my friends and family as objects in which I no longer had any emotional attachment to. It was the scariest day of my life....I truly thought I was going insane. I could not sleep well throughout the entire experience as my thoughts and hallucinations only got worse when I closed my eyes. 

Finally I got to sleep and woke up. (Day 4) I woke up with this amazing feeling of self awareness. I was showering before work and took a good solid look at my life before and after this experience. I was finally able to reason, "Why do you want to feel and have the awful outlook you used to have on life?" I no longer felt the need to drink or smoke to get through the day. I felt a strange comfort with myself, I have always been extremely uncomfortable with myself and have always felt socially inept. All these feelings just slipped away. I compared the way I used to think and act with how I thought and felt after this experience. I finally realized I was in such a better place mentally and spiritually. I was able to look at my daughter and truly experience what I believe to be true love, I was able to look and listen to my wife and honestly care and hear about the words coming out of her mouth and again experience what I perceive as true love. I am now able to lay with her and truly enjoy being that close to her. As opposed to thinking "God, I can not wait till she falls asleep, so I can go watch TV on the couch."

I could go on and on, but I will save anyone who cares not to read every detail of my experience. To summarize, everyday goes on and I feel better and better. Everyday my thoughts become clearer and clearer. The love and compassion for my family grows stronger and stronger. Please do not mistake what I was saying earlier. It was the worst few days of my life. I was teetering on the brink of sanity without a doubt. Looking back on it now though, I truly believe that experience triggered a reset button in my mind. It cleared all the negative thoughts and connotations I had perceived as a part of life. 

My reason for posting this is while I was going through the darkest days, I have never been more scared. If anyone experiences a similar situation I encourage you to just ride it out. Drink lots of clear fluids and eat lots of fruits and vegetable. You will probably have to force them down because I had a complete loss of appetite. Everything happens for a reason and my outlook and perception on life and the everyday aspects of it were completely changed in the most positive way I could imagine. You will be fine and you will come out a much better person both mentally and spiritually. As a word of caution if you ever get to the point that you feel you are going to harm yourself or another call a doctor.

Peace and Love,