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I am extremely, but extremely worried about my daughter. Her name is Phoebe and she is 16 years old. I notice that she is behaving differently since we moved to another country. I believed that this happened because she changed her school, her friends and her environment, but very soon I noticed that something else is wrong with her. So I took her to the doctor and he told me that she has classical signs of the depression. I forgot to mention that she is bedwetting because of that depression. I don't know what to do because she doesn't want to talk to me and I don't know what kind of problems she has in her school. But I am scared for her and I want to help her ASAP.

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Hi. It is really hard to manage with the teen kids. Especially when they change their life completely during this period. This can be very traumatic to them. She is dealing with some huge problem in her school or between her friends and bed - wetting is just one of the reasons to be sure in this. Sometimes there is something physical or psychological going on, perhaps some kind of trauma. So, your first mission should be this - try to find out what is going on in her school, does something bothers her or something like that. Usually if the bed wetting starts suddenly it is because there is something happening in the teen’s life that has prompted it. 

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I know, I have tried to talk to her about this but she refuses. When I told her that I do know that she has problems with bed - wetting, she just looked at me and she didn't want to continue any kind of the conversation with me. I know that she had really hard times while we were moving away. We moved for miles from our last home and I notice that she is sad. But I could never tell that she is depressed. I don't know what to do or how to find out what problems she has in her school. Maybe I will go tomorrow in the school and talk to someone. Maybe the school principal?

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Yes, you can try and do that, Guest. However, there might not be a problem at school, maybe the problem is in this whole moving away thing. She probably had friends at the place you've lived before. Maybe someone she liked or maybe a boyfriend.

Give her some space. She might get better over time, everybody needs some time and some space to be alone. Does she have anyone who she loves talking to? A cousin, some relatives? You should get them to try and talk to her. If all of this continues, I'd advise her to talk to a psychologist.

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I don't know, maybe it is the problem in whole moving away thing. But when we moved out, I tried to talk to her and I asked her how she feels, is she well or not, because I do know that teen kids can really suffer because of leaving their home and friends. She told me that she is fine with her new school. I was worried because she never told me "fine". She is always - amazing or awful. Never fine. Maybe I am overreacting a little bit about this, but I am nervous when I see that she is nervous. I gave her a lot of space now and I will wait to see what is going on. No, there is no one in here from the relatives that she could talk about. They all are far from here.

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"Fine" is never good, if you ask me. Depending on the tone and in which way she says it, "fine" usually means "just don't ask me about it, please".

Depression is something that is to be dealt with some professional help, a psychologist. I already told you this and I still think that it is the best idea. She is at a very sensitive age now, you know, she is a girl who is 16, teenager in puberty. It is never easy for parents when their children get into this age. Don't give up, I don't know what else can I tell you.

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I will give you an insight from my perspective.

I am a teen, 18 years old, I'm male and nobody knows that I am suffering from depression. I am not bedwetting, I am just trying to show you how we (people suffering from depression) see the world.

If someone asks if I am okay, I say that I am okay. Nobody knows I'm suffering. Nobody knows my thoughts. My own family doesn't know this and I don't show it, I stay strong always. But I want so badly that someone would hug me and tell me that everything is going to be okay. I want that so badly...
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It happens. These are rare occasions in which people bedwet because they are suffering from depression, but it does happen. I think that it is 2% of all people who suffer from depression that bedwet.

Teens are hard to handle. Take a teen who is in puberty and who is suffering from depression, and you got yourself a hardest person to deal with in the entire world. My daughter had problems and I took her to talk to a psychologist. She said that that was the best experience that she ever had and she still talks to him from time to time.

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