Hi, i am a 14 year old girl (virgin) and i would like to figure out how to break my hymen. when i try to finger myself it is always painful. i have tried pushing on my hymen, but it doesnt feel like its doing anything. it feels very hard as if there is a bone in the way or something and if i push too hard i get a stinging sensation and it hurts a lot and is uncomfortable. . i am not sure and i am not jumping to conclusions. i would like some help please. please tell me if this is normal. :-(
Hi Michelle: Why do you want to break your hymen hon? Is it so you can tell some guy that you are NOT a virgin? Let me know why OK? And I can totally help you with this, and I will understand and be able to give you some information that might make you decide not to. You will understand once we talk about it OK? So don't do anything till we talk allright? Good luck hon!
sorry. i didnt realize i posted 14 yr old. i am a 15 year old and im turning 16 in September. i have had a boyfriend for about a year since my freshman year. the reason i want to break my hymen really makes sense to me. because my boyfriend is a rather sensitive person when it comes to me in pain or hurting, and he hates to hurt me in any way, but ive been wanting to have sex with him for a while. so i figured if i was to break my own hymen a while before we have sex, then he wont have to feel bad. so...that makes sense doesnt it? %-)
Hi Michelle: I understand! Now I'm going to tell you why not to do it OK? :-D When you and your boyfriend DO decide to have sex - Make Love! It should be a planned out - meaning he wearing a condom ALWAYS. Even though I still think you are still young for this, I'm not going to judge you hon, so I will help you with this instead. When you are making love with someone you love! It is a tender moment, it is true that you COULD be in pain when the hymen breaks, but sometimes the pain doesn't happen or the bleeding. And sometimes you will hurt inside higher up in the vagina, so some sort of pain - for your 1st time - is expected. It can't be avoided, it is like the pain you have to take to become a "woman" it is not something that is intolerable by anymeans. ALSO IF you do hurt, he has to know that he has to take it a bit easier and slower and more gently! IF this is his 1st time too, you both have to be aware of each other and your needs and wants, ALSO what doesn't feel right. This is part of being intimate, it is getting to know each other in the most intimate of ways. So any twinge, any blood and any pleasure has to be dealt with by both of you. Because a lot of young people who loose their virginity, things change after. If they don't talk to each other about what is going on, their relationship changes and becomes awkward. So communication either by words or body reactions is key, in keeping that communication going! Having sex isn't just physical, it is EVERYTHING, Mental, emotional, etc. It takes a lot more than just saying "yes" so this will be the same for you and your boyfriend. I want you both, but especially you, to be TOTALLY at ease with the idea. I don't want you to feel pressured into it! I want you both to come out the other end just as close as you are now. Even if this isn't is 1st time, he HAS to know that this IS yours. AND that you shouldn't be doing this just to keep him happy. It DOES change everything honey! But of course its not all bad - or people wouldn't be doing it!!! ;-) XD It's just different and can change things for you. So be ready for that OK? And when you are ready, just be at ease and ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS have your boyfriend wear a condom. And one other thing, you CAN get pregnant at ANY time, including your period. I have answered several messages on here where the people didn't think they could get pregnant at different times of the month. And even if your boyfriend promises not to ejaculate, all it takes is 1 little sperm to make you pregant right? So I wish you LOVe and good health and just be in love OK? Good luck hon|!
Thank you very much for your advice. that is mostly the reason that i am afraid to lose my virginity. my father told me that it would hurt me, and my auntie had told me that it hurt her to pass out. i have not had a lot of feminine influence, as my mother does not like to talk sex with me. my father has always told me about sex and it is a little embarrassing.
so it is good to be able to talk with someone who will understand and support me. i realize that you should always use a condom, and i would not think other wise. lol i realize that i am most likely too young and so does my boyfriend. so we are waiting until we are older or out of high school. thank you very much for your input. i appreciate it so much. :-D
so it is good to be able to talk with someone who will understand and support me. i realize that you should always use a condom, and i would not think other wise. lol i realize that i am most likely too young and so does my boyfriend. so we are waiting until we are older or out of high school. thank you very much for your input. i appreciate it so much. :-D
Hi Michelle: Your welcome hon, it's difficult for parents to talk to their kids about it. I couldn't even say the word "Sextet!!" 8-| ;-) XD When I was younger!! So all I knew was from my friends and Cosmopolitan magazine - DON'T read it!!! ;-) It's a huge thing loosing your virginity hon! I tell my boys it's a gift you can never re-wrap!!! And I know you are in love, but things change, I always wish that my husband was my 1st. It's just that intimacy thing I suppose. I know that keeping the virginity is on the rise, and I totally support that. Even though I know it is totally unrealistic to think all teenagers are going to be celebate. But there is a LOT of teenagers out there right now dealing with HUGE issues including being pregnant, abortions, having a baby and STD's so I am just worried about all the young kids out there, including mine. Who might end up with "life"sentences - so to speak. With all the videos on MTV at people shaking their "booties" = I know I know I sound gay!!! ;-) XD but some of those videos are like o.O o.O :O o.O :$ It is unreal what they can get away with. So they show young girls and guys getting "dirty" and my age group - 40ish ;-) XD is like "OK I'VE NEVER EVER EVER BEEN LIKE THAT!!!" So if we are thinking that, I can only imagine your age group and how you guys should be and look etc.
So other than giving you a sermon - which I'm not about at all - I just want to say, "Be strong and secure in yourself and don't give a flying fig about what other people your age are SUPPOSED to be doing, because I guarantee you honey, they aren't!!!" If you are solid in yourself, you will always make the right decisions FOR yourself - get my drift man!!!! ? ;-) XD XD ;-) IF you ever need to talk I hop with dat and I smell what ya cookin!!!!! XD XD o.O :$ ;-) 8-|
So other than giving you a sermon - which I'm not about at all - I just want to say, "Be strong and secure in yourself and don't give a flying fig about what other people your age are SUPPOSED to be doing, because I guarantee you honey, they aren't!!!" If you are solid in yourself, you will always make the right decisions FOR yourself - get my drift man!!!! ? ;-) XD XD ;-) IF you ever need to talk I hop with dat and I smell what ya cookin!!!!! XD XD o.O :$ ;-) 8-|
THAT IS MEANT FOR YOUR HUSBAND TO DO AFTER YOU ARE MARRIED AND HAVING SEX. LEAVE IT ALONE AND WAIT FOR MARRIAGE.
NOT REALLY, BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE HIS JOB IF HE WERE YOUR HUSBAND. WAIT TILL YOUR MARRIED HONEY, BELIEVE ME, IT WILL BE WORTH IT. THEBN NEITHER OF YOU HAVE TO FEEL BAD :)
hi! i'm 15 going on 16 and i'm struggling with the same problem! did you find a way that didn't hurt? thanks xx