Depression after kidney transplant.

I don't have kidney disease but I do have lupus and I have been on prednisone for the last 18 months and about 3 months ago I started taking Cellcept. Just a suggestion, ask you doctor first but I have found Hair, nail and skin vitamins to be very helpful. In addition to that, I also take a multivitimin from Puritan's Pride. As for the weight gain, no real solutions yet other than trying to work out when I feel weel enough to do so and I eat according to the Eat Right 4 Your Blood Type suggestions. YOu can find this book at you local library or just look it up on Amazon. Hope this helps......take care.

This goes out to all the transplant recipients on here. I have had every kind of dialysis and three kidney transplants - two related living and one from a donating stranger upon their death bed (thank you, whoever you are). My kidney disease onset when I was 12 years old. I am now 33. I celebrate my three year anniversary in a week of this third and blessed kidney.

I was saddened to hear so many complaints about your transplants.. It was a huge sacrifice for all of the organs you received and trust me, you are absolutely better off with a working kidney than on the slow road to greater illness on dialysis. People without any kidney function at all, such as myself (removed as a child) would be gravely ill or dead without these treatments. Donors are out there and we need more and more of them to help the people who absolutely need a transplant to survive, care for their families, and be happy. Please encourage donors to sign their cards and try to be thankful that you aren't dead or struggling on dialysis like so many who do and have done for so long.

If you have never experienced dialysis, please go to a hemo clinic and hang out for a while. You can see pain and misery all over their faces - not to mention their bodies. I thank God every day that He answered my prayers to get this kidney so I can care for my baby girls and live a normal life. I will never cease to praise Him for this gift.

Be well and take care of yourselves. I'm glad you can get these concerns about medications and the struggles associated with kidney disease off your minds and talk about troubles on here, but choosing death over a transplant because of symptoms is never the answer. I hope you know that ... The bad stuff will pass. The good part is now you have a chance to live a normal life. :-)

I was born in 83' with one kidney that wasn't fully functional I had to be seen by docs since i was a baby and been in the hospital so many times i have lost count.

My kidney lasted tell May 05'. I was told i needed to start dialysis and had to get a catheter first, and the a graft in my upper left arm i was 22years old and so upset. i was very self conscious about it, never would let it show in public. I had to go to hemo x3 a week for 3 1/2 hours. What made it worse i had crohns and had to get on and off at least one time to race to the bathroom. Over time i accepted it and it just became a part of LIFE.I had to be on dialysis for 3 1/2 over that time i had seven de-clots on my graft to get the blood flow going again. My doctor/ surgeon was great and so were all the nurses and tecs at the unit.

I got the call for my new kidney on June 30 08', I wasn't sure about the transplant even when they were wheeling me back. I wasn't scared of the surgery just what to expect after... I felt great after wards got up and walked the first day, it wasn't tell i got home that i had the worst pain of my life! I had gotten a staff infection and try-ed to tell one of the docs at Mayo about my terrible pain he told me to Tylenol i broke down crying i couldn't believe he was sending me home in so much pain. The next visit two days later my dad had to wheel me in i was so bad. Then the doctor said you weren't like this last time! i could have screamed at him i told my other Mayo doc i didn't want him ever again! I spend a week in the hospital and still had to be on IV antibiotics for a week at home. I felt like c**p for a good two months with all the shakes, joint pains, not sleeping, hair loss, diarrhea and weight gain. I told my docs all about it and they gave me anti-depression pills, pro-biotics and sleeping pills, they really helped. When i started to feel better i started working out on the treadmill for 6 miles a day so i tired myself out. I got off my sleeping meds and stopped my pain meds because they can cause joint pain and not sleeping also i was eating better. It has been a little over six months and feel great, yes i have a scare, yeah i gained weight but its all worth the quality of LIFE i have now.

Listen guys. My normal life was taken at 9 years of age. I've had two kidney transplants. One by my father and this latest one which I had in April of 1995 from a cadaver. My fathers was a 3 antigen and this cadavers' was a 6. the meds are killing it. there are no such thing as safe or smart immunosuppresants. No drug is good for the kidney or other bodily systems. The only thing left is CHIMERISM. It's the only thing left to a true cure and chance for a real back to normal life. Other than that this is a curse and my war with the all mighty continues till this day. >;)

GSC, I agree 100%! Thanks for posting. I very happy for all of you that state you are doing great with your transplants, but not everyone is as fortunate as you are. Please have some empathy for those of us who are not as fortunate as you and are "complaining." My medical complications have nothing to do with my gratefulness to my sister, and I resent that remark. This was, I thought, a place to discuss depression after transplants and the reasons why. If your life is now full of roses and sunshine, please go to another board where you can share this with other recipients that have had no problems with medication side-effects or depression after a transplant.

December 20 of this year will mark my 10 yr anniversary of my transplant and I am 35. I was on dailysis for 2 yrs before that. The only thing I miss abotu dialysis is I only weight about 125lbs and that's the ONLY THING. Right now I am well over 250 and I have my good days and bad days. I have no will power to work out more than a few days because I usually wind up hurting some where on my body and stop going. Food is what calms me but at the same time it does me in and along with that and the meds (I hate prednisone) I feel like a house. Nothing fits right and I dont' like going out in public much. Right now I'm just stuck and even though I'm not suicidal, I just feel blah. The doctors only say work out and watch what you eat and they been saying that since day one and I am bigger each year I visit. This year I'm gonna ask them for something that will at least jump start my weight loss. I dont' mind a pill or two since I take about 18 a day already. I understand the ups and downs of what a lot of you on here are going thru and I've been lucky, I haven't been in the hospital much (maybe once a year or every other year) and last year I had my first kidney stone (...let's just say I dont' want to go thru that again) and I think I may get bigger if something doesn't happen soon. Thanks for letting me vent.

I'm in my 5th year with my new kidney. I've gone through much of the same as others with prograf, cellcept and the hated prendnisone. I've gained so much weight and am very depressed. I hate my mood swings! I feel like my whole personality has changed. Yes, I'm glad to have had the transplant and be alive. I just wish people would stop telling me not to worry about the way I look. Prednisone has reeked havoc on me. My hair is thin dry and breaking all the time. I miss my normal hair. I hate the scarring and the way my body looks. I've been told I will have to take prednisone for life, that alone is depressing. My prograf dosage has been changed a million times and I just can't handle the tremors. Some days I'm fine,but the sad days are pretty terrible. Does anyone else experience these things? Does the ravenous hunger from prednisone ever go away? I've also asked my dr. to give me something that would jumpstart weightloss and she won't. It's a relief to read these posts and know other people feel the way I do.

Yes, I still go thru the mood swings but I usually can tell so I stay from around people til it passes. I been taking 10mg of Prednisone since I got off dialysis. I remember the first week I was home, the doctor told me to double my Prednisone for 2 weeks to help me put weight on (I was about 125) and build up what little immune system I have and i misunderstood and instead of taking 20, I was taking 40 and I gained about 40 in 2 weeks and I clearly remember I could never get full. I was standing in front of my fridge eating from a half gallon ice cream. My hair on my head is really thin but I have hair on my arms and upper back from the meds. Each time I have asked the doctor from anything to help me start weight loss, I get nothing. They just say exercise and watch what I eat and its easy to say but never easy to do. My tremors are not as bad as they use to be and really only show if I'm to do something like put sugar in a cup or something small like that. I use to be able to walk for a long time and now after about half an hour, some part of me is hurting, usually my knees or feet and I been taking phospha to help fight off osteoparosis and help with joint pain. I also still swell in my fingers and legs/ankles when I walk for long periods of time. I tried wearing medical socks but they dont look so good with shorts, lol, and they are a pain to put on.

I had my kidney transplant when I was 13 and that was 11 years ago. Even though I have not had rejection, my life has felt like one rejection after the next.

I have gained sooo much weight (70 pounds after having been a waif all my life), I have MAJOR depression, and I have had many other side effects (like temporary blindness from pseudotumor cerebri, stomach problems, my stomach looks pregnant, cosmetic problems, bla bla bla). It's just not fair. I never had to go on dialysis (although I was about to right before the transplant) and I know I should be thankful for this because I hear it's unbearable but I feel my life is unbearable now. What I hate the most is the misconception of how kidney transplant recipients should be grateful ALL the time, like after the transplant everything is perfect and that we don't have any more problems. But the truth is (for Me) that my life was fine before the transplant; in fact, I didn't even know I was sick <the school nurse just happened to be checking everyone's blood pressure that day>! Sometimes I wonder if everything would have been better if we had never found out and I had just died.

I cannot imagine how hard it is to be put on a waiting list, and the agony that that would bring to me and my family, but for me, my disease IS my transplant. I understand that this may bother some people, but I was almost immediately given a kidney after we found out I was sick and after that my life has been sh*t.

I have been put on numerous anti-depressants all of which made me gain weight. And for me, that is not OK (especially since I had lost a lot of weight and then gained it all back on these meds). Why can't meds have great side effects like making you taller, or more emotionally stable, or making you pretty or something? lol I just feel really disheartened because I don't know what to do and I feel really desperate to be happy.

I have graduated college and have been unable to find a job which really adds to the depression. I feel guilty that I am a financial burden to my parents at this age.

I guess I must sound really ungrateful, but everyone's story with transplants is different. All my friends are successful at their jobs, healthy, unblemished, in good relationships, but I have nothing. I have tried prayer and thinking positively but it's hard to pray to a God you feel has abandoned you and believing that there is any order to this screwed up world.

I am still on prednisone but have heard that some people can get off it of. How? Do you have to be put on a med to substitute it? My doctor makes it seem like I must be on it forever.

Does anyone have any good resources? A good book perhaps? I am really at a loss and don't know who/what to turn to.

I don't mean to be a downer, but I am coming here for help, or at least because I know people reading this might relate.

I think most people on here relate to what you are going thru. I did dialysis for 2 yrs while I was on the list. I did peritoneal dialysis which I dont at home each night when I went to bed and it allowed me to still work full time and have a little more freedom. I've done hemodialysis a few times when I got infections or had to wait for a stint to heal and I couldn't imagine doing that the rest of my life. Doing it zaps all your energy for the day and by the time u get a lil back on your free day, you are headed back to the clinic.

I also found out by mistake. I had pneumonia and when they did chest x-rays to see if my lungs were clear, they couldn't find by one kidney and due to hypertention over the years I guess it finally gave out and within the same day I was admitted to the hospital and didn't go home for almost a month. I guess we all have out stories and its nice to be able to vent w/o people thinking you are ungrateful, which i'm not, I could be in a lot worse condition, but that doesn't mean its easy and you don't have to struggle each day. The price of the meds also puts a dent in my wallet and they dont get cheaper, you would think the DR would do all he can to help find you generic meds instead high price brand name. I wind up depressed after paying for my meds, it's all a vicious cycle. I'm a very private person so its hard for me to talk to people face to face about what goes on in my life but if you are able to, try to find a support group or people who've gone thru the same thing as you. I have to go back for my checkup next month and I'm gonna ask again for something to curb my mood swings and give me some energy. Everything I've had in the past makes me not care about anything and I dont get upset but I still stay put because I don't care about exercising either ;-)

I understand totally what every bodys going threw or been threw.. I was diagnosed at 16 with chronic renal failure and was surviving on dialysis untill I received a kidney from and unknown person at the age of 18..On the 8th of june this year (2009) I will of had my transplant 3 years.. Those years havnt all been pleasent..I supose if you havnt ever been on dialysis u never really understand the relief and joy to pick up the phone and some 1 tell u that ur life is drasticly going to change for the better and 6 days after my transplant I was feelin the best I could ever remember feeling I had got soooo much energy but just sore...however 6months of joy and energy later I was told I had rejection.. it was the worst time ever 4 me.. I had to have 6 biopsy's and as many of u already no a biopsy on ur own kidney is like being stabbed and havin a biopsy on a transplanted kidney is jus the same feeling.. After still suffering a month with rejection it was decided that I was to undergo ATG treatment and oh boy I thought I was dying! The treatment lasted 4 12 hours and was repeated for 3 days I was contantly violently sick my skin turnd yellow my eye balls bright red and I didn't urinate for 16 hours! THis is were my pred dosage was upped to 35mg a day I balloned within days had a football face as I call it all my facial features had gone I jus had this perfectly round fat face.. N e way after the rejection was taken care of the preds was lowerd bk down to 8mg a day..since I had my transplant 3 years ago iv gaind 3 stone and it won't budge no matter what.. I used to constinly be hungry my stomache would feel like it was ready to explode it was that full but I still had the hunger pains so I ate but now wish I hadn't.. As for the tacrolimus I still shake to this day but not as bad my feet and hands feel like there burning when I go in the bath or shower even when the waters luke warm then my toes tuen white 4 a few minutes but its all normal to me.. The worst par I wud truley say affected me the most about receiving a transplant it the actual person I received it from.. Iv found out the person was 21 year old male. I slowley became stressed and had to have counciling where I was diagnosed woth post traumatic stress.. I was constantley thinkin about this young boy weatha or not he had children, married.. Christmas time was the worst.. I felt guilty shopping for gifts bcoz all I thougth about was his family grieving for him.. Im over this not but was totally overwelmd that sum 1 id neva knew and had never met had saved my life.. I wrote a beautiful letter to his family sayin thank you I put my heart and sould into wringin it and the tranplant co-ordinator asked if he could copy my letter to help other and it was posted on the wall in the clinic for every 1 2 see the... I don't regret the transplant at all because even tho I have my down days and problems I also have fantastic days with my family and for those short hours 4get about my illness.. I am what I am and I do believe every thing hapens for a reason.. I no I will have a short life and many sad sad years on dialysis on ofcourse the many more illnesses that progress but I want to make sure that on the days I feel great I do the things I want to do in life b4 its to late and im lay in my hospital bed unable to keep my eyes open and for those few minutes they are focused dreaminin about all the things I wanted to do but never did... please please please don't work urself up over wiegh I no the feeling like I sed iv gaind 3 stone and honstly I do hate the way I luk.. But its better than being dead

i just had my second transplant on may 4 th of 09 and it was rough i am 30 was on dialysis at age 13 and i did dialysis for 7 years but i will never go back this one fails i feel like i would rather OD on drugs than do it again but... i feel better than ever yes the prograf makes me alittle shakier true havent had a problem with prednisone actually i am not that hungry but thats okay i lost 25 pounds after my transplant all with in 5 days and for any of u who havent had to do dialysis for a long period i have spent a 1/3 of my life so msLo i feel your pain but that transplant is the best thing that happened to u at the time it might not of seemed that way and i know this is a couple years later but i really have felt like u many many many days i some days just would of rather died than get that second transplant but my times not up here i dont want people to feel or go thru what i have gone thru my first transplant i took for it to lightly got at 17 and the pills made me fill rough and so i stopped takin them after a year and than the ride began i did so many drugs its redick and that kidney lasted 6 years and i dont regret it i just maybe would of taking the pills and do the same thing i mean i was trying to kill myself with all the drugs and i pushed it but to all keep your head up and dont let it rule u its not easy yes hope this helps someone and i wish u the best msLo

sorry lol i thought it wanted your name for the post god that was dumb

hey guys-

I had my transplant in 2002 when I was 29 years old. My father was the doner and I never went on dialysis. My creatine was 13 when I recieved it and I had the transplant done at Colombia Presbyterian in New York City. They were by far the best that I researched. As far as side effects the prograff made me shake a lot and the prednisone makes me break out on my back, the rappamune still makes me shake every now and then (at least I think its that, who knows with the cocktail of pills you are taking whats really doing what) the prednisone makes me run around like a buzz saw and yeas i have the weight gain. Heres what I have found out about that...I go to the gym 5 days a week, usually, and lift weights hard and walk on the treadmill for thirty minutes and it has done wonders for me both physically and mentally. The hardest problem I have with this new lease on life is figuring out what I want to do with my life. I debate over perhaps a nurse who works with transplant patients or go the more money route. I have never taken anything for depression although it seems I have had an occasional bout but very temporary.

I know my post might upset some people here for that I apologize in advance. But I am posting mostly for people how are going to have the transplant. Before I had my transplant, I came to this site and saw all these post and thought maybe I shouldn't go with the transplant and maybe I should stay on Dialysis, But I went through with the transplant. Now its been over three months since my transplant. I feel great! I don't have any depression. I gained about 5 pounds. I actually weigh the same what I weighed before the kidney disease. I had lost weight during dialysis. I am on 6 mg Tacro, 2000 mg Cellcept and 5 mg Prednisone a day. I haven't had any shakes. I am sleeping fine. I started running after two months. Now I go the gym for my workouts. I lift weights and then I run for about 30 minutes. I was also running when I was on Dialysis for about seven months. So whoever is reading this and is in doubt about the transplant, this is the best solution. I feel like what I was before the disease. Absolutely no difference. "Crisis is not going to define you, how you handle the crisis is what will define you!" and yes, its my saying. ;-)