Has anyone had this during their pregnancy?? ANYONE?!?

Had sex day before ovulation back in February. Sperm got inside of me. Ever since then it seems like I've been on a nonstopping roller coaster. I have very noticeable montgomery bumps on areolas of breasts (never had that before). I used to never have headaches but now i always have them. When i go too long w/o eating I get nauseous and gag. Had cramps like 3 weeks before period was even due in March. Always moody. Tender boobs. Always forgetful now. Gurgling noise in stomach sometimes while eating. Near my scheduled period dates i get weird bleeding that goes from watermelon pink to brown to bright red to pink and then GONE. Before and after I had these last two weird but pleasant bleedings that i've had (in February and March) i had clear milky mucus-like CM. One time i even got a glob of jelly like CM when i was like around 8 weeks pregnant (if i am). Only passed a lil blood clots. I have regular periods that are always dark red & i pass LOTS of clots. So whats up with this? I usually only get that when I'm near ovulation but i always have it now. Is it leukorrhea? Sometimes i get a pain under belly button. I weigh 105 lbs, skinny, 5' 1". My waistline is thickening. ITS NOT BLOATING cuz i cant suck it in and i check every day after using the bathroom but before eating/drinking something. This just happened like 4 days ago. I do not have a belly. READ CORRECTLY. If im pregnant, im 11 weeks already. Why do i have this weird bleeding if im pregnant? Is it placenta previa or subchorionic bleeding? For the last 3 days, when i lay on my belly, I get a weird feeling under belly button that isnt gas, hunger pains, or cramps. I'm lactose intolerant and i KNOW when i have to fart. I have regular bowel movements. I'm not constipated. I'm always in tune with my body. I only feel it when i like lean over to touch my toes and have to scrinch up my belly to do so, when i'm in a uncomfortable position or when im laying very still on my stomach. I want to believe that Im pregnant but just cant. And i want to buy a home test but i'm FAR from a store/pharmacy and in Walmart out here in Puerto Rico, there isnt any. Has anyone else had a whacky pregnancy or know someone who had one?? Btw not only is the bleeding weird and different colors, but its spotting. Its not an actual flow. After a few wipes, it disappears. And it keeps going back in forth from spotting to a light flow to spotting. I have no pain so its not a miscarriage.