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Hi, I am a girl who is 20 years old. I really loved my mother, but 4 months ago she died. I don't know what to do with myself now. After she died I felt a great loss and I am falling apart ever since. I don't eat much, I am shaking all of the time and I am drinking medications because all of this but nothing helps.

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Hello, I am not sure what to tell you now, because everything I say can't really work and all of that is easier said than done. But you have to have full support of your family. The thing I will tell you now will sound impossible. You will find a way to continue with your life. You have to believe in yourself. You will always remember her and you will always feel the pain but with time you will be able to live with the pain. I hope that I haven't sound harsh.
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it takes time...2 months just to be really able to function...from what others say, it takes about a year to get over most of it...of course, we still miss the person even after that
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I KNOW, and I care...lost my mom 11/20/10...still grieving...some days are better, ..today good so far...yesterday was bad...half a Xanax helped
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I am so sorry for your loss. I haven't lost my mother, but I have lost a few friends in the past few years. It's going to hurt, a lot, for a long time. There are going to be days you won't feel like getting out of bed, and days you feel better. First off, it's okay to feel happy. A lot of people feel guilty when they start to feel better because they somehow thing they are betraying their loved one; you won't be. I'm sure you're mother loved you very much and wants you to be happy. It can take a year to feel close to normal again. That doesn't mean you will stop crying, because honestly, there are times you will, and that's okay too. It seems cruel that time keeps going on, but it will, and you have to keep going too. Sadness, anger, etc, are all things that are going to be present.

Just a few things to remember: It's going to take time. Don't rush yourself, or get upset at what you are feeling. Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling. Alcohol is a depressant, it will not make you feel better, and honestly, it makes you feel worse. It won't make you forget. Honestly, there are medications, both long term and short term. If you are constantly panicking, or can't stay calm, or aren't sleeping, then there are short term medications like Valium and Xanax. There are long term anti-depressants too, but honestly, if you were not depressed before I wouldn't recommend it. If this depression is from your mother's passing, the medication will not really do much, and once started, it can be very difficult to get off or it. Either way, talking to a doctor is helpful. Your doctor will be able to recommend treatment, if s/he feels you will benefit from it. NEVER MIX MEDICATION AND ALCOHOL. Consoling is always a good idea. It can be really helpful just to talk to someone who is separate from the situation to gain perspective. The healing process takes a while. If you cut your hand you wouldn't expect it to heal over immediately, if you broke a bone you would expect it to take time before you get back to normal, the same is true with grieving. Just know you are not alone. I wish you all the best and if you ever need to talk, feel free to send me a message. You will get through this. For now, just try to do the essentials, try to eat and sleep even if it is difficult. Once you get in the habit of taking care of yourself the rest will come.
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