Let me start by saying I have read the "I'm gay but you're not" article. Keep in mind that I am not a homophobe, I completely support gay rights.
On to me:
I am an 18 year old virgin and all my life I've been attracted to women. I was watching TV one night and I saw a scene of a gay documentary about coming out of the closet for just 1 minute, I changed channels and never thought about it again but it stayed in the back of my mind. I saw gays kissing before and it didn't do anything to me.
The day after that, my libido suddenly lowered and wasn't interested in women as much as before, but I still was. I thought I was 'becoming' gay, but wasn't attracted to men, so that wasn't the case.
All of this stayed in my mind for a couple of days until all turned back to 'normal' again and went on with life.
Fast forward to last week:
I suddenly thought about the gay documentary again. I do not know what reminded me of it, but each time I see a guy I get reminded of the gay documentary. This has been going on for a week now, but I am still attracted to women (like always,) but a bit less as before all this.
I am getting thoughts in my head, I keep thinking of stuff like:
"What if I have been gay/bisexual all this time and didn't know it?"
I don't want to have sex with a man, I never have even got aroused over a man, but I thought about gay sex and I thought to myself 'What If I would like it and didn't know?' Of course I can tell when I see a good looking guy, but nothing more than that. In my opinion, guys should be able to tell if a guy looks good.
A couple of days ago I said to myself: "Ok, fine. I am gay, these thoughts should stop then." But it didn't, because I am not attracted to men. That's why this is so weird.
I have bad anxiety and I usually freak out over stuff easy...
Now, like I said. I am almost positive I am suffering from the HOCD stuff, and OCD is pretty common in my family.
I can completely find myself in this sentence in the article:
Quote:
Does anyone here have any tips for me? This is taking way too long for me. I want to get on with life.
On to me:
I am an 18 year old virgin and all my life I've been attracted to women. I was watching TV one night and I saw a scene of a gay documentary about coming out of the closet for just 1 minute, I changed channels and never thought about it again but it stayed in the back of my mind. I saw gays kissing before and it didn't do anything to me.
The day after that, my libido suddenly lowered and wasn't interested in women as much as before, but I still was. I thought I was 'becoming' gay, but wasn't attracted to men, so that wasn't the case.
All of this stayed in my mind for a couple of days until all turned back to 'normal' again and went on with life.
Fast forward to last week:
I suddenly thought about the gay documentary again. I do not know what reminded me of it, but each time I see a guy I get reminded of the gay documentary. This has been going on for a week now, but I am still attracted to women (like always,) but a bit less as before all this.
I am getting thoughts in my head, I keep thinking of stuff like:
"What if I have been gay/bisexual all this time and didn't know it?"
I don't want to have sex with a man, I never have even got aroused over a man, but I thought about gay sex and I thought to myself 'What If I would like it and didn't know?' Of course I can tell when I see a good looking guy, but nothing more than that. In my opinion, guys should be able to tell if a guy looks good.
A couple of days ago I said to myself: "Ok, fine. I am gay, these thoughts should stop then." But it didn't, because I am not attracted to men. That's why this is so weird.
I have bad anxiety and I usually freak out over stuff easy...
Now, like I said. I am almost positive I am suffering from the HOCD stuff, and OCD is pretty common in my family.
I can completely find myself in this sentence in the article:
Quote:
STRAIGHT MALE HOCD SUFFERER: I know that I am gay, but I have only ever gotten hard with girls. This must be because I am in the closet, and I know that I'll suddenly get hard with guys once I come out. But the thought of being with another guy makes me sick. Damn, gay stuff is so disgusting! I'd never want some naked guy to touch me that way. But my mind tells me that this is what I want, and that I'll be O.K. with it once I come out because I am gay. But I'm not gay! But my mind tells me I am. Dammit, why won't my mind shut up? I do all this checking by looking at gay porn, and I still don't know what I am. But I just want to look at hot women instead. I have never been attracted to guys, but I know I am a gay guy. This anxiety is killing me. I can't even hear the word gay without becoming anxious.
Does anyone here have any tips for me? This is taking way too long for me. I want to get on with life.
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I've suffered from making out with a girl, I was turned into the culprit and I was used as a joke to her boyfriends, everything piled up and I wasn't happy anymore. Don't make the same mistake. If your not certain, I had the same feelings as you, I wondered how it would be if I was lesbain, I once expierenced kissing a girl, but honestly I never want to go back. I am straight and have been at times, I can tell when I like a guy and if I like him I want him to be as close to me as possible so I coul feel how it was to be loved by a real man and not those who keep on joking that I like them to others. Honestly, I have the same problem but docters would tell you there is nothing wrong with being gay. I hope you can find some confinement in my words, I'll honestly hope you find your right path, me I'll stay straight. I keep thinking back when people asked me if I was lesbain and joked about me, so please take care and don't let the documentary bother you.
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relax, you're just fine as you are and anyway what's the urgency.... take your time and enjoy your life and YOURSELF....
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I'm 99.9 % percent sure you're not gay. I'm 14. I just got out the finish line of what many guys go through when they see gay porn and that arouses them, while straight porn not as much. I had seen it and had basically had it over me. I wasn't sure if I was bisexual or what, I couldn't look at any guy really without thinking about it and having to clear it out of my mind. But you force yourself to stop watching gay porn and your mind goes back to normal, females go back to where they normally are in your mind, and you slowly start to forget about it.
I'm sure you're straight and it's just the thought of it because it's what your not, it's like reverse phycology when you say no matter what don't push this button, you might push it to see what happens.
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You both are sociasexuals. Any creature that comes up to you, you want to have sex with. If it is Genentic, then you were born gay.What you are talking about is tendencies to become alchoholic, because your parent or grandparent was an alchoholic, that is a different gene. Your out of school and now the daily drama is gone so you come here to tell us that you saw less than 60seconds of documentery, and you were in a different room.Now you think about this snipit, whenever you see a man. Which would be all the time. You are confused whether you ar e gay....An obbsesive compollsion disorder is when you have the need to repeat things you do. TWO diferent ends of the spectrum. If you have ocd for a reason other than you play with yourself all the tine. If you are gay, and I hope not, we already have enough bad press. You woould have romantic feelings before you would have sexual ones , and if it is only sexual feelings you have, take a magazine and go to the can. If you are gay especially the early ones, there is romance involved. obsessiveYes, there are alot of one nite tricks, and there are a lot of s**ts that won't leave til the get something. OCD is BS! You take a hyperactive , obsessive adolescent , give him riddlein, And thing a pill wil fix a problem..If your kid is acting out and diagnosed and given medication, that will not help There is a thing called Parenting. If your still at home,you know someone will do what you want so you don't get him upset.. There becomes an age of responsibility, when if your not in school your ass better be in college. I've seen groups of kids that hang out together, act normall, untill they get back home , where the show must go on.(your thinkin I am full of sh*t) At 14 we satrted with orange soapers,animaltranquilizer, You could get off the bus and for 2 or 3 bucks you had a hit of 4 way sunshine. You break it up,divide it up and soon your tripping!, we would do this 2 or 3 times a week.Then POT. I could buy a four finger bag for 12 or 15 dollars. You guys need to drop the ocd sh*t, and start figuring out your life..I hade a car, apartent, and a 7 day a week job 2 months before High school ended.Never went home to Mommy & Daddy, I was off work because of surgery, I went every other day and sell plasma, that was enough that I had something to eat. I don't buy this hocd thing, get off your ass and work for a living , and it will figure itself out. Who taught you guys how to whine? You want some cheese with that wine ??
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If you dont want to be gay, then dont! But you are still fairly young so you should wait a few more years untill you fully decide your sexuality.Also, dont tell any friends about this because you will probably regret it...
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What you say is a little confusing to me. Maybe it's because you're a virgin. You may just really want sex badly. Your hormones tell you that you're ready for sex, but you have no outlet for sexual expression. Perhaps anyone or anything sexual is turning you on because you just need an outlet for sexuality. Meditate more on this. Perhaps try being more flirty with a guy or a girl. See which one you like. You might like both. Sexuality can be fluid at times. It's not black or white like we'd all like to think.
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