I am stopping with suboxone

Hello, A little background.  4 years ago I went into rehab for opiate addiction.  I was put on suboxone without knowing what it was.  I just thought that is what you took to help with withdrawls, never knowing what I was getting myself into.  Now, 4 years later I am on 12mg a day (prescribed to take 1/2 a strip 2 times per day).  I also have fibromyalgia and CFS so supposidly, it is for my chroni pain at this point.  I want to get off this medicine so bad.  I HATE the sweating and I feel like i have not been myself in over 5 years!  I hate it.  When i bring it up with my addiction specialist dr he doesn't want me to quit.  He thinks I need it for my pain.  My regualr GP dr is adamant that I stop it.  Well, I am an adict.  And I don't know if any of you have had this experience, but for me, when I take that 1/2 of a stip under my tonge it makes me feel relaxed and good.  So, for some reason, over the last 6 months or so, I have been "cheating" here and there and taking an extra dose ever few days.  Well, this gets me in trouble because I am then short by the end of the month.  Luckily, the pharmacy was good about fillng my RX about a week early, up until last month when they red flagged me because they noticed. So when I went to pick it up, they told me I had to wait the full 30 days.  I was so scared! I was really doing okay up until about day 7 and then I hit the wall.  I went to the pharmacy and lied about going out of town and needing the rx early.  They gave it to me. But do you think I learned my lesson?  no!  so now here I am again, not haveing learned that lesson, or keeping track of how many little "extras" i was using, and I am 10-12 days away from my refill with only 4 full strips left!  I know I am an id**t, I know I can't keep doing this, but I am asking for help.  Please do NOT judge me, please.  Please just help me to get by, I have a job and I need to be able to function.  What is the best course of action?  I also managed to get about 8 vicodins (althought they are 2 years old) from my sister, so I do have that to help.  What should I do?  Do I stretch out the suboxones?  like take 1/2 (6 mg) a day every other day? and try and get there?  go longer?  or will I suffer from the large decrease?  should I take 1/2-1 strip per day and then when i run out take the vicodin?  I really need help and direction.  I say ever month when I do this that this is the month I am quitting, because I go so many without, or with low dose, but then it gets so bad I cave in!  please advise, I need help.  thank you