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Sorry for taking so long to respond (Its Marissa) ok to update on my situation. I finally came clean to my fiancée about everything as hard as it was to do. He was understably upset and I did expect him to leave but he has decided to support me going forward. Although it’s not an excuse for my behavior I did tell him how I felt so much pressure from our upcoming wedding and how everyone but me is controlling our wedding and I felt like my behavior as bad as it was also was some form of finding control. My fiancée was mad at the cheating of course and the fact that I was reckless enough to not use any protection on top of it, he didn’t want to hear details of the cheating and I wasn’t volunteering them. He said himself he knows how people get pregnant and he trusts me that it was just being careless in the heat of the moment and I do believe he sincerely knows how sorry I am. As far as the other guy is concerned my fiancée holds no bad feelings towards him but also doesn’t want anything to do with him. I did discuss it with the other guy and the possibility of the father being him and he is willing to cooperate with a DNA test as is my fiancée. When asked about our future and if the baby is not my fiancée how we will move forward he isn’t ready to answer that yet which is understandable. My life and my whole future is a mystery at this time and that’s the worst part. The sex itself might have been physically pleasurable but not worth the heartache it has caused but I can’t take it back. Thank you for all the help, all I can do now is sit back and wait to take a DNA test and go forward from there.
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Health Ace
5490 posts

Hi Marissa.

Thanks for the update. I am glad you have spoken to your fiancé and pleased he has decided to support you.

Are you really sure "my behavior ... was some form of finding control"? That is not the same as "just being careless in the heat of the moment", but I am glad he sees it that way.

It is best not to go into details with him about exactly what happened, and make sure you don't raise it if/when you get into arguments. Why did you discuss it with the other guy? You said you didn't want anything more to do with him. I would suggest that you do the DNA test only with your fiancé, and keep the results to yourselves. If it is not his, then no-one else needs to know.

"When asked about our future and if the baby is not my fiancée how we will move forward he isn’t ready to answer that yet which is understandable." It is now up to you to demonstrate unequivocally your remorse to make him convinced you are now a faithful fiancée. Share with him your worries, stresses, hope, and fears. Let him realise you are vulnerable, cannot do everything, and desire his support.

I really hope all works out well for you both.

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Also embarrassingly in the same situation.
Been married for 3 years and had been fighting to keep us together for about two. We had a huge fight I moved out for a month. I cheated on October 26th and regretted every second. He pulled out and then on the 28th I took a plan B. Got back with my husband and we had sex the 28th and he didn’t pull out. He knows that I had contact with this other guy but doesn’t know I slept with him. I was really confident the baby was my husbands at first but now I’m freaking out. I ovulated the 25th- the 29th. And ovulation day was the 28th. Any help is greatly appreciated!!
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Health Ace
5490 posts

You haven't given much information!

  1. What do you mean by "I ovulated the 25th- the 29th. And ovulation day was the 28th"? How do you come to that conclusion?
  2. You only ovulate at a moment in time and on one day only.
  3. If you took plan B, it should have prevented ovulation, unless you already had ovulated.
  4. Have you been given the baby's due date?
  5. How was that assessed?
  6. What does your dating scan tell you?
  7. What were the start dates of your last 6 periods?
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I track my period using an app. My last period start date was oct 15th and I usually have a 28 day cycle. My app said I was fertile 25-29th. And that my ovulation date was the 28th. The babys due date is July 22nd. And that was given by the first day of my last period and also how the baby was measuring.

Would the plan B work from preventing pregnancy from the 26th and still allow me to get pregnant on the 28th?
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Health Ace
5490 posts

Plan B is intended to prevent or postpone ovulation. There are also (disputed) claims that it might prevent fertilisation, and maybe implantation. It would seem it was taken too late to prevent ovulation and fertilisation would have taken place at ovulation.

The likelihood is that your husband's sperm, which would have likely entered your vagina at a fertile time in copious amounts, that fertilised the released egg. It is likely that no sperm was released inside you by the 'other guy', but the few that might just have done so would have had to contend with the millions from your husband.

Plan B would not "work from preventing pregnancy from the 26th and still allow ... to get pregnant on the 28th".

I cannot be 100% certain, but the dates suggest conception on 29th, probably from your husband. A second scan (in a month's time maybe) would help confirm the dates. But only a DNA test would give the true parentage.

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Thank you for all of your information. I really appreciate it!
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Health Ace
5490 posts
Pleased to help. I hope all works out well for you both.
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Did it end ul being your boyfriends?
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Have love feelings to the kid in your womb, you serviced both men willingly
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I just found out the gender was a girl. Could this make it more likely to be the “other guys” because I’ve read that it takes longer for the sperm carrying the female chromosome to get to the egg? if that makes sense
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Health Ace
5490 posts
Not really. It is not as though an individual man's sperm always has either female or male chromosomes. Did the sexing scan confirm or change the expected due date?
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It confirmed the due date at when I went in at 14 weeks 5 days.
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So the ultrasounds have been saying the same due date so far.
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Health Ace
5490 posts

I still think that your husband is most likely to be the father, but a DNA test is the only way to be absolutely sure.

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