when I was younger like really young I had relations with girls ( I am a girl as well) kissing touching cuddling and such I thought girls just liked eachother & that was normal I guess I was so young I thought I was pregnant by a girl because I didn't know how it worked lmfao I really don't feel feminine I never had a mother figure so I figured that was why, I do wear makeup, dye my hair bright colors, paint my toes etc. I liked my first guy in 2nd grade, I had little crushes here and there. I became promiscuous (I mean come on I was making out with girls at age 8) with guys for years (sex filled the void, don't judge we all have our problems haha) but it never felt right I was always submissive to it though call me a masochist I craved love (they were always feminine boys btw) I kissed a boy who looked like a man one time & almost threw up, I kissed alot of girls but never got into a relationship with one (relationships period scare the f**k outta me) (there wasn't alot of options I did get to shove my tounge down the only other actual fem lesbian in school <3) anyways most recently I developed "feelings" for a female, my bestfriend, I thought about her everyday for months, not even in an sexual way I romanticized her but when I did think sexual my body NEEDED her I made a move one time and got my hand moved, told her my feelings, got dissed and now I can't eat I mean I cried over guys before but this. I get so jealous seeing her with other females. My heart aches. I'm so confused with my sexuality. I mean I never had sex with a girl (social anxiety & self confidence type thing.... or is it lmao) but flirting with girls, sexting girls felt so f*****g right I don't wanna say I'm gay just yet because what if it's a phase or just HOCD i don't even know f**k I had sex with guys I can't just say that I'm gay 16 years later (im 16) btw :-( obviously if I get turned on by women & emotionally attached to women im gay right? lmfao