I cannot orgasm with my boyfriend, I am not sure if it is because he is circumcised.

Well there is obviously a lot going on here. How old is he? How old are you? That's a good starting point to gauge sexual experience. Women, in general, need much more warm up time sexually than men and more than half of all women cannot orgasm from intercourse alone. They need additional clitoral stimulation to push them to that point. That being said your boyfriend needs to spend 15 to 20 minutes at least in foreplay getting you very excited and maybe even making you orgasm before intercourse. I would highly recommend the use of vibrators and lubes during intercourse as well. My wife and I do this and it really adds to the experience and is sure to bring her to orgasm every time. 

Of course you say in your post that he doesn't want to do these things. He seem a little selfish in my opinion. Have you thought of speaking with a counselor regarding your sexual issues? He needs to come to the understanding that your pleasure is just as important as his and he should be willing to do anything to make sure that happens. I would talk to him more about this issue and suggest counseling. 

He is 25 and I am 22 years old. Yes I have indeed thought of speaking to a counselor and we mentioned it months ago but never talked about it since, I am not 100% sure if he would be still up for it though.

 

He is not kinky or adventurous to be honest - so I don't think he likes the idea of using a vibrator on me or even me use it in front of him. I mean we are completely different people, I like to do it outdoors or on various furniture etc but he is glued to the bed. He is hard piece of work that's what I can say. He said he is too old (gggr) and that if I want all the extreme stuff (do it more often or use toys) I should find some seedy teenager. Maybe it's the way he thinks - my head is spinning and I wish there was a easy solution.

 

Any advice on how he could last longer? He try to pull out and finish so he could continue but when he continues he is too sensitive and stops. I always get a 'sorry' after he finishes - which is blooming off putting. I was wondering how many times a week is it normal to have sex it in a relationship or even marriage?

Do you think I would be an awful person to break up with him if he does not fulfill my urges within time?

 

Many thanks for you advice and help.

Hi Guest,

So I am happily married and have been for 5 years and with him over 10. If I let him know something isn't good, he fixes it. If I am doing something not so good, I fix it. We talk and communicate and yes, during sex too.

You two sound like completely opposite people and opposites do attract but not always stay together. Me and my husband have a lot of similar interests and stuff we like on our own too, it is healthy to do things and have things just for you. Do things for yourself too.

I still masturbate by myself and tell my husband and so does he. Sometimes he will ask me to show him how I do it, which makes me feel a little weird but than I start to feel desirable, sexy and in control - which is exciting.

There are lots of ways to help his control but he is right, it does take time and he IS doing his Masters which takes a lot of time too and thinking. So, there I do agree with him. I also agree with you, it is about you too. When my hubby was in school, he still made time for me and did things with me and I also when I went to school after him.

Now, how long have you been trying to better your sex life for yourself without him listening to your needs? He IS being selfish when he tells you that you should get a "seedy boyfriend" then, that's just mean. He isn't even acting like a married man because in my experience they all LOVE sex and to pleasure their wives, at least in my world. I have broken up with a guy for less than this so no I don't think you are being selfish, you have asked and he doesn't listen so something must be done YOU ARE NOT HAPPY.

Does he want you to go out and cheat? In all likelihood no he doesn't but him continuing to push you away will either happen that way or a break up - and that's final. You'll find someone that makes you happy like him but that will also listen to your needs and you will love them for that all the more. Listen to what your heart is telling you. Instincts never lie.

Hope this helps and good luck

Lizardqueen already said anything that I could possibly add to this discussion. If he really loves you, wants to please you then he would be open to do anything within reason to meet your needs. As you already stated, he won't try sex in different places, etc. Using a vibrator isn't exactly what most people would consider kinky. If that is kinky to him then he has a lot of sexual growing up to do. As far as lasting longer that is a little more difficult. I am a man and I can understand not being able to last long. Sometimes though it helps to visualize the pleasure you are giving to your partner. That can help tremendously with premature ejaculation or early ejaculation. I am 44 years old so I don't have that problem anymore. It goes away the more experienced a man becomes.

 

As far as frequency of sex goes that is really entirely up to the couple. Sometimes once or twice a week is normal for some, for others once a month is normal. I would say that once a week is average. That's about how often me and my wife do.

 

I really can't add anything else other than follow your heart as has already been said and I wish you the best of luck!

Thank you both for you advice and help. :-)

I never thought my relationship would turn out like this, so frustrating - sometimes hard to remember the good parts of the relationship. But  as you both said I should follow my instincts and heart.

I think I will know when enough is enough and that all my hard trying and effort to find a way to improve the situation, just gets dismissed.

Thanks again.

You are absolutely on the right track. There are several studies which show that women are much more likely to experience sexual satisfaction if their male partner is intact.

You say he does not last long. This likely is a consequence of his missing foreskin. What happens is that, without a foreskin to protect the corona of his glans penis from direct stimulation, the nerves in the corona become hyperstimulated and trigger an orgasm that he probably does not want.

I don't know how serious you are about his guy, but if you want a permanent relationship, he could start restoring his foreskin, which would give his corona some protection, however this takes years.

He could wear a condom, which would kill most of his sensation.

You and he could engage in a lot more foreplay before penetration.

Finally, if nothing works out, you can ditch him and look for an intact male.

Go to your local sex store and find numbing gel/lube. It's will make him last longer, no it won't make him numb completely, it'll just make him last a little longer.