I have had severe depression for years and am finally tired of fighting it

I am done. I have had severe depression for years and am finally tired of fighting it. This is not a feeling sorry for myself post rather a last stitch effort to find any reason to continue on. I am in counseling, tried every antidepressant with different dosages and combinations, books, lifestyle changes, diets, you name it I've tried it. It would be one thing if I had just sat back and excepted it but I have fought - hard...and it keeps winning. I make a bit of progress but always digress back to lower than I was originally. I know it is chemical as it runs in my family so my hopes of ever beating it have finally diminished. I can not have any relationships - even friendships as I am just an empty shell of a person. I don't see any personality in me so I don't see any reason anyone would want to or even be able to love me. I put on a decent front from time to time but I am a total fraud. I am a mother and a fiancé and a director at my job but again, all of it is acting and total fraud. Please don't judge or tell me I am feeling sorry for myself...I got over that a long long time ago. I am not looking for bliss...just normality. I don't have a clue what that is like. Please...anyone....help me. I have decided that I would like to stop fighting this. It has beaten me. I give up.