I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, but I prefer the term survivor to that of victim. It implies passivity--once a victim, always a victim. Anyway, I am not sure is inappropriate cuddling also way of sexual abuse?
From some research I read about 10% of the population will have experienced some form of childhood sexual abuse, ranging from inappropriate cuddling or being flashed at to oral, vaginal, or anal penetration by older people. So, inappropriate cuddling is! As in most cases abusers were male, though as a male I was less likely to be abused than a female would have been.
kious, have YOU ever had any type of therapy or counseling for your abuse? Have you looked for a support group in your area?
The reason I ask is because you are obviously still confused..... a bit. You need a place to go where you can speak freely and not only ask questions like this, but be far more specific about the kind of "cuddling" and by whom. A group can give you back up and help you by telling their own stories.
I've counseled a lot of male abuse survivors and it's very hard for most of them to contend with what they believe is an attack on their manhood. I've also seen the positive influence a "Survivors Group" can have on them. One of the most important being relearning how to use your own intuition to decide if someone is trying to take advantage of you OR if it's just a gesture of love or kindness AND IN EITHER CASE YOU GAIN THE STRENGTH TO SAY, "PLEASE STOP THAT, IT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE."....... and you don't have to explain yourself further than that. We, as descrete persons, can tell anyone when their touch is UNWANTED. You don't have to apologize or give them your history, simply let them know that they are making you ill at ease.
Regardless, I can see that you are indeed a survivor, but with sexual abuse one never forgets, nor do I see that as a goal. You need to remember...... just not allow it to interfere with your life.
You would not only gain support from a group, but YOU could give support to someone who may not be as far along in the healing process as YOU. So I'd urge you to join for what you can get and what you can give.
In any event, very good luck. Have a long and happy life.
The reason I ask is because you are obviously still confused..... a bit. You need a place to go where you can speak freely and not only ask questions like this, but be far more specific about the kind of "cuddling" and by whom. A group can give you back up and help you by telling their own stories.
I've counseled a lot of male abuse survivors and it's very hard for most of them to contend with what they believe is an attack on their manhood. I've also seen the positive influence a "Survivors Group" can have on them. One of the most important being relearning how to use your own intuition to decide if someone is trying to take advantage of you OR if it's just a gesture of love or kindness AND IN EITHER CASE YOU GAIN THE STRENGTH TO SAY, "PLEASE STOP THAT, IT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE."....... and you don't have to explain yourself further than that. We, as descrete persons, can tell anyone when their touch is UNWANTED. You don't have to apologize or give them your history, simply let them know that they are making you ill at ease.
Regardless, I can see that you are indeed a survivor, but with sexual abuse one never forgets, nor do I see that as a goal. You need to remember...... just not allow it to interfere with your life.
You would not only gain support from a group, but YOU could give support to someone who may not be as far along in the healing process as YOU. So I'd urge you to join for what you can get and what you can give.
In any event, very good luck. Have a long and happy life.