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Is it safe to masturbate with a pickle? If I wash it off? I heard of cucumbers but i have none. I am a female and was not sure because of all the vinegar and stuff

No, it is not safe to masturbate with a pickle. You could get an infection and hurt yourself inside real badly even if it is washed. Don't use a cucumber either since it is too big as it is forced in; even if it was the size of a real penis, when you masturbate, your vagina doesn't not loosen up as if you were actually having sex with a man. I recommend to masturbate with you hand, fingers or even with a tampon (without pushing the real tampon in as if it would stay there to hold the blood). Be careful when you masturbate and you are introducing things in because you can really hurt yourself 

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Wat other things can I use
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The vinegar is probably not a big deal. Vinegar douches are commonly used for managing risk of yeast infection. Whether they are completely effective is up for debate. If you want a less acidic pickle you could put some baking soda in a glass (over the sink), poke a few holes in the pickle to allow the free interior fluids to escape and then squeeze and dunk the pickle into the glass. FIZZ happens. Then you will have a neutral pickle.
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How about on a men
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But what if I didn't know and use one masterbate with it what would happen to me
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