Ladies, ALL MEN MASTURBATE AND LOOK AT PORN. ALL MEN. NO EXCEPTIONS. (Any guy that tells you otherwise is lying to you because he knows that’s what you need to hear.) This is completely naturally and has no bearing on how they feel about sex with you or how much they are attracted to you. Men are visual creatures and they need variety that is particularly difficult to achieve in monogamous relationships.
My wonderful wife can’t be every kind of woman in the world, so porn lets me scratch that itch without cheating on her. Plus, my poor lady would be bow legged if she attempted to keep up with my much greater libido.
So let him have his fun.
Now that I’ve said that, let me address the real issue. The problem so many of you seem to be having is not actually the masturbation, it’s that he does not want to have sex WITH YOU. Wanting a little solo is perfectly okay, but never to the extent that he neglects your needs.
That is a huge red flag and should be a major incentive to get into couples counseling right away. If you are still engaged, I strongly strongly recommend you not marry this man until you have 100% completely resolved this problem with a sex positive therapist. And no you haven’t resolved anything unless his change in behavior lasts for a period of weeks and months. Don’t get to a few rounds of therapy and then call it good.
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