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Hi, I'm 42 and am trying to decide whether or not to get a circumcision.  I'm a bit torn in a couple different ways and could use some advice, especially if there's anyone in my specific situation.

My first concern is whether or not I -need- a circumcision.  It used to be quite bad (around type 2-3 in this scale ***this post is edited by moderator *** *** posting of web addresses is not allowed*** Please read our Terms of Use but I've had some success in stretching to get me somewhere around type 1.  It's still not easy to pull all the way back when flaccid but it is possible without too much effort or discomfort.  It usually will retract fully during sex but it's tight and gets stuck which is unpleasant and often I lose my erection.  If I masturbate with a sex toy like a fleshlight I can reach orgasm and my foreskin is pulled back but it's definitely harder than reaching orgasm when my foreskin is not pulled over the glans.  Basically I just really need to focus on myself and the pleasure; adding in someone else distracts and I can't just will my way through it.

It's hard to say if I can really reach having a normal foreskin.  I had a preputioplasty done in 2009 and it didn't help much.  Ideally I want to keep my foreskin but if I knew it would make sex easier I'd go forward with the surgery.  I have had a few doctors tell me I would need a circumcision but today I was told by a Urologist that I do not have phimosis since my foreskin can retract when I'm flaccid and he would not recommend circumcision.  That said he is a testosterone-oriented Urologist so I'm not 100% sure I trust his opinion.  He's an outlier but I have had some moderate improvements in foreskin movement lately so maybe it's not unreasonable to keep trying.

The other complication is that since it's been hidden for pretty much all my life the glans of my penis are very sensitive.  I've read some stories about people getting circumcised under these circumstances and being in pain for months on end.  I can imagine what that'd be like.  Ugh.  Since I can pull my foreskin back I can get a sense of what it'll be like, and yeah, it's not pleasant.  :\  I'm also not sure if my foreskin is contributing to the pain during sex because it's tight or if the pain is just because my glans have been hidden for so long.  They are sensitive both when flaccid and erect though I think it's worse when erect (more blood flow + foreskin pressure)

So basically my options are:

1.  Keep stretching and hoping the lower grade phimosis goes away.  I'll still have the sensitive glans issue but at least I can work on that on my terms rather than having them completely exposed though honestly that would guarantee that they would be desensitized at some point.

2.  Go for a circumcision.  That would fix the phimosis immediately but I worry about the irreversible effects on my enjoyment of sex along with exactly how long the extreme sensitivity phase would last.

In terms of trying to make option 1 work, for stretching I plan on basically doing what I'm already doing, but if anyone has recommendations on techniques, toys, etc, that might be most effective I'm definitely listening.  As for desensitizing I'm thinking of trying to sleep with my glans exposed.  We'll see how that works out.  If anyone has advice here as well I'd appreciate it.

Lastly, the Urologist I saw today suggested that testosterone treatment could help a bit with sensitivity as it would make sex more pleasurable in general.  That felt a bit dubious or at least hopeful.  Anyone have experience with that? 

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Health Guru
9621 posts

Hi, when your doing the stretching exercises are you doing them when erect or flaccid and what do they consist of you doing? There are many different sorts of ways to stretch your foreskin from just pulling back when erect and letting the swollen glands stretch it to using your fingers to stretch tho opening or other items.

Every guy has the same issues about sensitivity at first when retracting there foreskin but the more you can keep the foreskin back and get use to touching the glands the faster it goes as the skin over the glands will start to dry out, my advice would be to keep your foreskin as it's a stimulation point during intercourse.

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Thanks for the reply. Stretching is both when erect and flaccid. Flaccid I primarily leave the foreskin pulled all the way back for long-ish periods of time (15-30 mins) to stretch not too aggressively and try and help desensitize the glans. Erect I just try and pull the foreskin back and forth while masturbating (either manually or using a toy like a fleshlight). I don't reach in and stretch; I always found that awkward and I haven't really used any tools significantly either.

I don't think I really appreciated how separate these issues were. I thought the tightness was more to blame for the sensitivity but nah, gotta figure out how to deal with both of them.
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