Misery On Account of My Labia Minora

hey i am 18 years old and i recently admettited to myself that i have long and abnormal labia. after spending 2 years with a boyfriend that wouldnt perform oral sex on me, but all the other girls he dated, i kind of started to worry. i have done alot of research on this topic and from what i have read it seems to be "normal" but i cant help but hate them, and be embarrassed and self concience about them.

I'm 35 and I never even realized that my labia were different until I started dating a guy last year who said I was "unique." That didn't sound good, so I started to ask previous boyfriends. They assured me that every woman is different which is what makes women so sexy. My last boyfriend before this used to tell me he loved my vagina...so I wasn't insecure about it until I started dating this guy. I was even considering surgery until reading all this! I don't love the look now that I've seen the differences, but I have tremendous sensation and I wouldn't risk losing that for one that looks neat and tucked.

how do you just wake up one day and your labia is HUGE? you must have had that for awhile

Wow! This site was really informative. I never knew that I had this problem until I got with my first real boyfriend at 19. He didn't say anything, just ouuuu. Then I saw porn online, and knew something was weird. So I asked him, and he looks at a lot of porn, and said that he liked it. Well that guy was such a sweety that I married him 3 years ago I have learned to deal with this, just can't wear really tight jeans. But I even considered surgery for a brief second, but heard that it could make me lose sensation. So I say if they don't get in the way to much, then just leave them. Our sex life is so great that I would never want to lose any sensation. He even understands when sometimes he pinches them on accident. Good luck ladies :-D :-D

hey i have the same labia thing as what you are all talking about and i have bein with guys n they`ve never metioned any thing everyones bits are different no ones are the same..soo just relaxe and dont think about it.you are what u r. x

ahhhh!! I'm so happy i found this site! I'm 16 and have always felt different, i'm even to embarresed to go get a brazilian wax. The thing that makes me the most nervous is my boyfriend going down on me (oral sex), it's just my lack of confidence. I rather just do it to him. But these posts helped me realise im not the only one

You are totally normal infact many many men/lebians have a preference for large labia minora. I think the most of men are turned on by any vagina at all, big or small lips. Why did you happen between the ages of 12 and 16 for all you young women? Because you were going through puberty. Why do all playboy mags not show labia minora? Because it's against censorship laws to show clits or labia minora because they are TOO SEXY. TOO SEXYY! ok. MEN LOVE THEM.

I have large labia minora.
Sometimes I feel a little off about it, but mostly I deal with it and, if the guys don't like it, then eh *shrug* It's just my body.

hey guys,
i've come across a lot of different and even reassuring things through these wall posts.
as a girl, obviously if i'm writing here, i have large labia minora as well.
the thing is, i honestly wonder a lot about how 'normal' or how 'attractive' they are. many of these posts say its a matter of lack of self-confidence to want to get surgery because our labias are actually a turn on. I'm not thinking of surgery but the truth is i desperately want to have sex but i'm too afraid of what potential reaction i'll get...it's just so frustrating to have so many opportunities and to turn them down because you want to avoid whatever bad reaction you may get from the guy. the odd thing is that i'm actually a really determined and self-confident person. I know i'm attractive and i'm also quite proud. perhaps it's just the fact that i want the guys that i'm with to think of me in only complimentary terms.
my questions were the following:
1/ for those with large labias and a lot of experience, can you remember how you got over yourself the first time and just let things happen without cringing?
2/are women with large labias more sensitive down there? better sex?
3/ i'm an anthropology student and i've actually come across interesting articles about African tribes who manually extended their labias because this was considered to provide a 'temple entrance' for the vagina and to protect from rape (making it more difficult to penetrate without the woman's consent). does oral sex and nibbling possibly elongate it more
4/ is that statistic about 50% having this hypertrophy true

finally,i'm sorry if i'm rambling, i think what i need is just a bit of advice about stopping feeling stupidly ashamed of this and get over this issue. (practical tips about how men react and how you can even use this to your own advantage would be good)
thanks legends!

i have a large labia
and ive been with my fair share of guys
not once has any of them said anything, and for the most part i have been with them more than once, they keep coming back lol
as for my first time
i was so scared of what guys might think
but the first time a guy went down on me was with lights on and everything
i was so self-conscious and found i couldnt really enjoy myself
but we ended fully around again and i lightened up a bit
after that it still bothered me when i was with a guy for the first time but like i said so far so good
im not scared to have sex with anyone now, i think im completely over it
its just to walk around and be completely naked in front of someone that i still need to get used to, i just think that its more noticable when you're not in the middle of having sex and it kinda bothers me
i just keep telling myself to get over, it just takes time to get used to i think

well hope that helped.. if you have anymore more questions feel free to ask

I always thought surgery was better, but I've heard a lot of nightmare stories of labiaplasty gone wrong so I guess I wouldn't reccomend that either.

i have the same problem & ive only ever been with one guy for that reason.. i am currently talking to a guy now, but im scared to let it go 2 the next level.. i am very self conscious about my vagina.. i was with my ex boyfriend for 2 yrs & we had sex just about everyday he even went down on me often... after like the 1st time me and him had sex one of his boys said to me that he told him i had an "outie" & that he likes "outies" which i didnt understand at all until i started looking into it.. it obviously didnt bother my ex b.c we were together for 2 yrs & we were always havin sex... i dont kno why im still nervous about it, but i guess cuz its a new guy...

Im glad I've actually found a site where this is discussed. Ive never EVER talked about this to anyone, and have never actually said it out loud. It is embarrassing... and Ive never had a boyfriend and everything about it just scares me, i feel so abnormal and... gross. sorry if that got anyone else down or anything... but If i could change anything about my body... it would be my friggen stretched to the house labia minora :\
But thanks everyone, now i know im the the only person thats ever had it. lol

Well you can find plenty of discussions about large labia here. There seems to be an abundance of girls who are stressed about their labia. If you look at the bottom of this thread there is a list of other threads where you will find many similar topics so click on one and then check the list that appears at the bottom of that one for even more.

From an old guys point of view, I can say I have never met a vulva that I found repulsive. Some have long lips, some have short lips, some have no lips at all. They're all candy from heaven just waiting to be kissed and licked. Large lips can be nibbled and pulled and teased and they are just plain fun to play with.

There's no such thing as an ugly vagina. They're all different ---- and wonderful.

But I'm a guy, and that's how guys are supposed to feel.
We're designed to love vaginas ------ any and all.

Oh, boy!
This sure is interesting!
Let me tell you my story:
I also started noticing my labia getting bigger when I was a teen. I also thought it was something I was doing wrong with my body for it to look like this. I discovered masturbation in a veery early age and also thought it might be the reason for it. Now I know it was puberty hitting me
But the problem is that I was always so afraid of my body and the reaction I will get from my partner. First it was the question of pubic hair, and after I got rid of these to please my partner, I started panicking about the shape of the "lips". My paranoia got so bad, I was seriously thinking about cutting theme off! I was too embarrassed to talk to my gyno about it, so I developed a whole plan about buying a pair of really sharp scisors, and alcohol pads, and taking care of it myself. Seriously. No joke. And I was very close to realizing my plan. Thank heaven there are forums on the net where these topics are discussed! And here is what I found out: It is ALWAYS a question of being approved from the guy you sleep with. The question of labia is no different than the question of breasts, bottoms, eyes, skin ... The only difference is, that no one talks about this particular issue, because it is so extremely intimate, but the answer will stay the same: WE ARE DIFFERENT! Thank heaven :D

I am not perfect. My image is miles away from the clean and sterile image of the world of celebrities, fashion, glamour and consumption. I am 24, I still have bad skin condition, my breasts are small, but they have big areolas, my "cat" is as it is and it has quite big labia minora, I have short legs, I am quite hairy (a lot of work with that ), and don't even get me started on my facial features ... But the men I've had in my life have been telling me that I am beautiful. That is what happens if you have sex with guys who care for you! So don't rush! Because on the other hand, if you pick up a first guy at the corner and expect him to be normal and accept you for "who you are", than you have different issues to solve in your head, that the acceptability of your lips :?. Once when I was shy with a guy in bed, because it was the first time he saw me nude, he pulled the sheet away from me and said, and I quote: "Babe, have you ever LOOKED at you? That's the way nature made you. You're beautiful." I still have trouble believing such words though. But don't you find this strange? HAS NATURE EVER BEEN WRONG? So why are we so vulnerable to what the media is telling us (because it is the media that is causing all this trouble. I hope you all know this.)? Why do we believe so quickly that the image they present is THE ONLY ACCEPTABLE VERSION OF A HUMAN BEING, and everybody that does not look like this is damned to live his life in misery and exile? No wonder it is so difficult to have self confidence in these days

There was a girl above - thinkstoomuch - saying she still has trouble walking around naked. Hehe, yes, me too! It is SO HARD to get over the fears we have in our heads :? But, you know, I started thinking about why we are so shy about our big labia. Here is my interpretation:
Of corse us girls look at Playboys, and watch porn, and are all in all very curious about an image of a nude woman. We are highly intrigued by it. And we were already intrigued by it when we were small girls. We looked at these images and dreamt of the day we will look like that. And in our image driven world obsessed with eternal youth, they picked out this vision of a woman with a "childish vagina" (that is why all of us started feeling insecure about this particular "labia issue" when we hit puberty - it all makes sense). It is a whole issue of looking so weirdly "young". It is kind of sick if you ask me, and that is also why I am against a completely shaved genitalia. If you want your partner to look like a child, then something is horribly wrong with you!!! Anyways, to continue, with us women, who evolve labias that can be so EASILY SEEN, we feel EXPOSED! Maybe that is why someone here said that big labia are erotic to men. You can not hide your femininity, you can not hide your natural appetite for intimate pleasure and that is a turn on for men, who are basically obsessed with sexually strong women (bless them :roll). So maybe the problem here is also a problem with a girl accepting the fact that it is okay to be a sexual being. We feel we are supposed to "guard our honor" and in a sense a discrete vagina with small labia is supposed to help us "hide away". No go, babe, you are a woman, made to "interact" :D Be proud of it and throw your confidence in the face of the corrupt, shallow and fake image world!

And also the same way we are afraid that our genitals are unacceptable, the same way boys are discussing on other forums about how they fear that their penises are too small, too square, their balls are not the same size and so on and so forth. But do we ever look at our boys with discust and say: "Baby, I am very sorry, but you're not supposed to look like this."? We don't, right? Because we also LOVE THEM EXACTLY FOR WHAT THEY ARE! And this is the only way we can be unique. Why does the media want to take this blessing away from us?

Anyways, I think it is so wonderful that boys like njoynlife here also come and comment. I think they helped me the most to get over all my fears. And I am sooo happy because of this. Thank heaven I am not a teenager any more, and I know that there is nothing "wrong" with any one of us =)

A very clever man once said: "I get turned on by small imperfections." And it is true. They are the only thing that make our life interesting and so damn fun!

And another one I love: IF YOU FEEL GOOD, YOU LOOK GOOD!