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I have large labia minora and I hate it. My labia minora hangs outside of my outer lips and I find it completely unattractive. Surgery isn't an option because I'm only 16. My boyfriend also finds it weird and unattractive, but he doesn't know that I have large labia minora. I'm afraid to be sexually active in the future because I'm self conscious about what he will think of about it and if it will just turn him off completely. I don't know what to do, advice?

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Hey there, First off, I just have to say how ironic and funny I think it is that the forum topic below yours is wanting LARGER labia. The grass is always greener on the other side! :) As for advice, I completely understand why you would feel self conscious about this situation, especially at 16! Its really hard to know what is "normal" or "abnormal," especially when most ideas of normal are being based off of comparisons. Interestingly enough, most women I know have "larger" labia. Very few have "smaller" labia. In regards to your boyfriend thinking they look "weird;"To be completely honest, and kind of blatant, most men really believe there is no such thing as an "odd" or "weird" looking vulva. Every vulva looks different and they really do like it that way. If you feel very self conscious about this in the presence of your boyfriend, then maybe you aren't ready; otherwise, lights being turned off may make you feel more comfortable when you are ready.
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Your labia are perfectly normal and very common, don't worry! They're not weird, they're not abnormal; infact they're almost so normal they're mundane (as if a vulva could ever be so!) But you know what I mean, absolutely nothing weird about it.

 

I suggest you take some time to get to know your vulva. Get a mirror with a stand, sit down on the floor, open your legs and just look at it. Look at the beautiful folds and creases of your labia, touch them to see how they feel. If you don't already, masturbate (if you're comfortable doing so) so you can see what a pleasure they are to have. See how they swell and darken with arousal (I have large, thick labia minora and this is when I think my vulva looks at its most beautiful, erotic and inviting). Simply get in touch with your vulva and yourself.

 

As for your boyfriend, talk to him. The next time he says something derogatory about large labia it could be a good time to have a chat, or bring it up yourself. Tell him you'd rather he didn't say things like that because it hurts you, and tell him why. If he cares for you he'll be devastated to have known he was being cruel about something you have. Educate him, tell him that vulvar appearances are all different and what he sees in softcore porn isn't representative of what a lot of women's genitals look like (just like most regular men don't have the much-larger-than-average penises that guys in porn are sporting). If he loves you and he's with you for the right reasons then he'll be crazy about your vulva, no matter what it looks like, because he's crazy about you. If he continues to make nasty comments about large labia, and if he ever says anything insulting about the appearance of your genitals then get rid immediately. You do not need someone like that in your life.

 

Lastly, I suggest you look up the Large Labia Project (don't think I'm allowed to link directly, just type it into google). It's a site created by a wonderful young woman from Australia to help other women and girls feel better about their labia. There you'll find many, many, many user-submitted photos of large labia (I'd like to get round to submitting my own picture soon). You'll see the huge number of ways vulvas look, and the uniqueness and also normality of them all. I can't recommend looking at the site more. Also take a look at the Dodson and Ross website, and on the list at the lefthand side click on labia. Lots of articles and questions about labia on there too (it's also a very good site for learning about all aspects of sexuality).

 

Apologies for the long reply, but it breaks my heart to see so many girls so ashamed of how they look. I hope you'll take on board the advice given and slowly begin to be content with yourself. I know it's hard at 16 (it's hard at any age!), but you'll one day realise you're perfectly normal, beautiful and desirable just the way you are, and anyone worth being with will see that too.

 

Good luck :)

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If a guy thinks your labia are unattractive he is not worth keeping. The right person will love you for who you are. When you find someone you love, everything about them becomes attractive, even your flaws. I have the same problem with my labia, but I've just chosen to embrace who I am and that I am beautiful. So are you, no matter what people say. You are beautiful.
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Hello my name is Vinney and being a male of course I very strongly believe that a women's labia the bigger the better, I mean seriously you women should never never by any means be self-conscience about your labia and if it more expounded then so. I am single right just taking my time of course, but seriously your labia is part of a women's or your natural sensuality. I mean I will give you lady's a hint: if you could only imagine when a man at least from my point of view how I so much get sexually aroused at a women's labia? I mean I am 54 years old but I secure an instant solid rock-hard erection, yeah! (Oh by way the no stimulants needed.) So ladies please be proud of the the female sexual nature that God made you. Remember: We guys have the penis apparatus and you ladies have the vagina apparatus; The two (02) go hand-in-hand! What more can I say? Enjoy your sexuality! VinneyV: Replies welcome!
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I am a lesbian and the one thing that really turns us on is large labia minora. We love to suck on them. Play with them between our lips. I am trying to get mines larger and longer through labia stretching. You are blessed my dear and if you man does not appreciate it move on to someone that will.

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