My bf is a vergin (i am not) and we have been together 10 months and havent had sex yet and i cheated on him just to have sex bc i am a nimpho and i didnt want to presure him so i called my ex and we had sex and we had sex twice first time with a condom the second started with a condom but took it off he said he pulledout before he came but he said there was a slight chance he didnt pull out fast enough. Im haveing a slight cramping in my left side i feel sick and i have slight back pain but i usualy have back pain a week or two before my preiod and i havent gotten my preiod this month yet and its very irratic so i cant track it im so scared i feel bad enough i cheated but i cant tell him im pregnate and i cheated im only 17 i feel so stupid im in love with this kid i cand believe i did this to him :(
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Dear fml
I read with sadness your situation. Here are some comments I hope will help.
- It is almost impossible to be pregnant 2 days after sex (i.e. pregnant from that activity). You are not pregnant until implantation which happens 6-12 days after ovulation. So if you had sex on your ovulation day, you could possibly be pregnant 6 days later. It would be extremely rare to occur by the 2nd day.
- However it is certainly possible that you will get pregnant; anytime you have sex there is that possibility which is heightened by lack of protection.
- The fact you had sex twice means that on the 2nd occasion there will still be semen in the urethra from the 1st time (unless he urinated in between times), so any pre-cum would have sperm in it.
- If this happened within 72 hours EC could be considered. A newer EC is 'effective' within 5 days. But you need to take the pharmacist's advice (where are you?).
The main issue you have to face is what it tells you about yourself, and how you will deal with that. A few questions might help your assessment, although you might not want to answer them publicly!
- You are scared. Exactly why are you scared? What is it that scares you?
- "i cand [can't] believe i did this to him". You need to ask why you did it to him. It might involve a lot of painful soul-searching, but if you don't, it could happen again.
- You admit to a high sex-drive "i am a nimpho [nympho]". That in itself is not a problem; in fact it is good. You need to consider how you are going to deal effectively with that in the future to maintain faithfulness.
- How are you going to let your bf know what has happened? You must confirm your love for him verbally and practically. Let him know (in every way) how much he means to you. Make a covenant with your heart (and body!) regarding faithfulness to him. He might find out what happened anyway, and then you will be in the position of having to respond to his reactions without warning. Be prepared to win back his trust. Show true repentance, and seek forgiveness. It might take time.
Although you behaved disgracefully, there are some positive things to build on
- You some respect for his chastity "i didnt want to presure him".
- You have some conscience "i feel bad enough i cheated" (as long as that doesn't mean "i feel bad enough i might be found out"). So you need forgiveness to move on. But you must determine not to cheat again!
- A sense of reality regarding what you did "i feel so stupid". Don't forget that you acted stupidly, but you are not stupid.
- A realisation of what you have and might lose "im in love with this kid". Love is a decision (action and attitude) not just a feeling. Prove it from now on ... self-sacrificially (true love)
- The hindsight incredulity of what you have done "i cand believe i did this to him". Learn from this.
I hope this all helps. If you want to chat privately (private message), please feel free.
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it has helped. and when I said I feel bad I cheated I actual mean it its the first time ive ever cheated on any one I don't like it or how it made me feel ( being the cheated and the cheater).I will never do it again. yes im worried he'll find out but if he does I will accept his reaction and regardless if he breaks up with me or we work it out. I am from now on completely devoted to our relationship and will NEVER put it nor his trust in me in jeopardy again
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Dear fml
I'm really glad it helped.
What did you mean about 'being the cheated'?
I am so glad you are 'completely devoted to [your] relationship and will never put it or his trust in jeopardy again'. A great determination. And have you decided how you will deal with your high sex-drive?
Take Care. I hope it all goes well for you both. If I can help again, please let me know.
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Dear fml
I am so sorry to hear you have been cheated on. I don't think you should have that problem with your bf, especially if you both remain chaste!
You didn't comment on my question on whether you have thought about how to deal with your high sex drive. That is quite important.
I hope all goes well for you both.
Take great care (of yourself and him)
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