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Hey Amanda, I'm 19 years old and I've been in a serious relationship with my 21 year old boyfriend for two years. In the beginning he was very loving, caring, and supportive. He had a job, a decent car, and a cell phone. Of course he lived at home still but his dad gave him a house to live in after the first 6 months of our relationship. I moved in with him and things started spiraling out of control. His mother died 5 years ago of cancer and last year my mother was diagnosed with cancer and passed away as well. He began drinking on the weekends with me and his friends, playing games and partying. Well the weekends turned into once a week, now its an everyday thing. He blackouts and doesn't know where he is and destroys a lot of things in the home. He spends a lot of time with family members that are alcoholics (have been for 30+ years). But they encourage this habit. He lost his job and car, and now he refuses to work and expects me to be a house maid and work as well. He leaves me alone almost every night to go drink and play pool in the garage. His appearance is also declining, he no longer cares about hygenie. I'm very confused about this situation. I'm heart broken because I fell in love with the person I used to know. And now I'm forced to leave him because I no longer can bare his excessive destruction. He has called me names and there's been a time where things got physical. I know I sound dumb but I still love him and I want him to do right. His sister has disowned him because they got into a fist fight over disrespect towards his father. My family now hates him because of his addiction. I want us to be together, he claims he loves me still. Do you have any advice? Am I a lost cause? Please, help!

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 Your have just written your whole future life life above. Move as far away as physically possible. Another town & job if necessary. You needed the person he was. That person has left permanently, never to return. There is a totally different person in the shell you are referring to. After you find a new home & secure job, talk to hifs father (provided he is not an alcoholic) in a very public place early in a day time but not alone. Take your father if necessary. Tell his father you lovethe boy your ex was, tyhe bouy he brought up to such a perfect young man. That boy has changed & could benefit with the same love & care he always gave him. Tell him how sorry you are & that it is nolonger safe or good for your health to live with his son. Ask him to be patient & the dad he has always been. Tell him he has also hurt hpermanent is sister & you cannot risk being with him for one more day, not even if he changes. Your health & well being must be your priority & you are sorry for the boy yopu have both lost. Once a man strikes you he will definately do it again. You definately do not need him. You need self preservation, fun, security & happiness. Begin it alone. Work, study, make new friends but never look back. Sorry, it was both of your lives together. Now, for the present it is your life, make it your way. Be finished with sacrificing, you are not a slave or a rag doll. You arer a human being like everyone else with needs & feelings that require your 100% attention. Have you ever watched a water fall? As fast as that water runs away, so does your life. It is the only life you will ever have. It was good ubtill he changed it. Now it is time to make it new & permanently good the way you ant it to be. It is your duty to make your life a permanently happy one. Be kind to others but stay away from harm, bad people & trouble. The possible you can do now, the impossible takes just a little longer. Tomorrow is a new day, time to begin your new life exactly the way you want it to be. He cannot let that happen. He has gone forever. This new guy is poison & harmful to you, your future & anyone you bring in to i

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CORRECTION |Re: My mistakes below, above or wherever the moderator puts them, I ran out of time I will if they allow me correct them. You have just written your whole future life above. Move as far away as physically possible. Another town & job if necessary. You needed the person he was . That person has left permanently, never to return. There is a totally different person inside the shell you are referring to. After you find a new home & secure job, talk to his father (provided he is not an alcoholic; unless anyone else feels it best you don't) in a very public place early in a day time but not alone. Take your father along if necessary but do not have him close in case your ex's father thinks you are there for a confrontation. Tell his father you loved the boy his son used to be. The boy he brought up to be a perfect young man. Tell him that boy has changed & could benefit with the same love & care his you know his father has always given him . Tell his father how very sorry you are & that it is no-longer safe or good for your health or wellbeing to live with his son. Ask him to continue be the patient dad you know he has always been. Tell his dad your ex has also hurt his sister & you cannot risk being with him for one more day, not even if he changes. Your health & wellbeing must be your priority.
Once a man strikes you he will do it again. You definitely do not need him. You need self preservation, fun, security & happiness. Begin it alone. Work, study, make new friends but never look back. I am genuinely sorry. Previously it was both of your lives together. Now, for the present it is your life. Make it your way, the way you want it to be. Put an end to the self sacrificing. You are not a slave or a rag doll. You are a human being just like everyone else with needs & feelings that require your 100% attention.
Have you ever watched a waterfall? As fast as that water runs away, so does your life. It is the only life you will ever have. Your life was always good until he changed it. Now it is time for you to make a new permanently good life the way you want it to be. It is your duty to make your life a permanently happy one. Be kind to others but stay away from harm, bad people & trouble.
The possible you can do now; the impossible just takes a little longer. Tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning. It is long past time to begin your life exactly the way you want it to be. He can never let that happen. The boy you loved has gone forever. This new guy is & always will be poison & harmful to you & any other person/s you bring into your life. Get as far away & as soon as possible or you & yours will be destroyed for life.
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