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I suffer from extreme paranoia and anxiety when in a relationship. I'm usually OK for the first three months when seeing someone new. However after this, I start having continual negative thoughts about my partner cheating on me, or not loving me or that she is going to leave me. This then creates deep anxiety which leads to panic attacks. In order to combat this I have to continually ask for reassurance from my partner, which seems to make these thoughts disappear at first but eventually no matter how much I seek reassurance and get it i cannot stop thinking negatively and then I end up questioning everything my partner says. It gets to the point whereby I spiral out of control and cannot think straight and continually am picking at my partner. I have tried to control this but it becomes that impulsive that I find it impossible to stop. This results in my partner becoming ground down until eventually she snaps and ends the relationship. I also become very paranoid about normal situations when out with my partner for example when going out for a drink I become paranoid that she may be looking at another guy who is better looking than me or has a much livlier personality, or that she is flirting with someone else. I end up looking for where she looks and am not able to relax, I become very withdrawn and sad and feel really anxious. The above problems have broken every relationship I have been in as my behaviour is that destructive even though I dont want it to be. I am now in my thirties and realise that I have major problems. Can anyone help me as if I do not sort this out I feel that it will ruin the rest of my life.

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This is a serious problem, trying to stop the negative thoughts is the only solutions for this, thinking positive about your partner will help you. Talk about this problem to your partner about how you feel and what you think. if she understands, she will definitely make you assure every time and give you positive reply. Dont feel that you lack somewhere,  think positive about yourself. You always think that others are better than you and she may leave you for other person, stop thinking like this, she accepted you means she like the way you are. Don't feel bad if she talk about someone else even for a second, just laugh with her on that topic, sometime they just need to talk about something. Try to trust her.. and if you get negative thoughts stay out away from it. Whenever you get negative thought praise her for something, the reaction or the reply you get will make you feel better.
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anxiety causes you to overthink.. and it also brings down your confidence level..
im in the same situation.. me and my boyfriend are together for 3years now.. i have GAD for a year now.. since that time i frequently think he is out partying without me.. while he is just at home sleeping.. i also call him and message him alot trying to reassure myself that he isnt doing anything wrong.. but that only makes the problem worse..
i think the best thing to do is work on yourself..
reassure yourself that everyone finds you super hot and attractive..
it will boost your confidence..
it worked with me..
the last 3months i lost weight and i felt i could take on the world:)..
just stay positive..
and believe in yourself..
know that you are special and that there will be a person truly willing to hold on to you..
im only 21, i havent finished my college yet..
im still dependent on my parents..
im totally in love with my boyfriend..
but i feel that sometimes no one can relate to me..
and that i should give up..
lately i changed my look..
changed my point of view..
im back in school..
in all of my classes i have groups of guys looking at me..
and im loving it:)..
when i think that im super attractive..
i worry less..
about myself and about my boyfriend..
because i keep in mind..
that my boyfriend cant let go off me because im hot..
and if he does then i deserve someone better:)
stay positive and love yourself:)
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I know this was over a year ago but thank you!!! This made my day and made me feel so much better! Its been rough lately and this gave me a new hope
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Def gave me hope too thank you
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