my boyfriend has trouble finishing

To be honest, it's not really an issue that you should feel responsible for. In fact, I think it is psychological--if it was physical, he would never be able to ejaculate. He's probably gotten himself used to ejaculating while masturbating but isn't accustomed to it with sex. He has to take care of this though an dnot you. What do you think?

Firslty, it's not loving to susggest it's his problem to del with. Maybe it could be a good thing for his lover if it means he can last longer? He needs understanding and support from his woman. Secondly, he is not a freak. I have always had this challenge since my first sexual relationship. Sometimes I have sex for an hour and don't ejaculate, even though I want to desperately. It's complicated. Certainly it's psychological, but the physical can not be discounted. I can only relate my own experience - take what you want from it. I am a nice guy ,so I am told, very popular with women because I always find it easy to talk with them and show empathy with them. I also am quite good looking and so I find it easy to meet and engage with with women. I was brought up to be very considerate and loving by a very doting mother. I am sure now that this is part of the reasons. When I first had sex there were two big things that we seem brainwashed with - 1. In a fair relationship, the importance of a man waiting as long as possible to allow a woman to orgasm, and 2. The goal of simultaneous orgasm. Both of these were always in my mind and I know this made me hold back, partly through politeness and partly to achieve some mutual joy and to feel like I was part of some elite. I had already objectified sex. Also, I have always been a very highly sexed guy and when I was younger I would masturbate about 3 times a day to relieve myself. Inevitably I found out what would excite me to achieve quick orgasms in many situations - physically and fantasy wise. Unfortunately I believe this has made it very hard to escape that control environment when being with a woman. Early on I found myself fantasising about woman from porno magazines when I was having sex, the faces, their bodies, the positions and so on. Not only did this fantasy never get fulfilled, but it distracted me from the real person next to me. I found myself fantasising the sex except for the basic act of intercourse. I should also say that communication is a big part. I was always to shy to say what I want. One time I asked my gf if we can do it doggy style she said 'only if you don't think of me in a degrading way'. Of course, I suppose I did want to (in the nicest possible way) and so I was put off and could not enjoy that because I thought I was being ungentlemanly. Oral sex is perhaps the most clear cut example of my dilemma. I have never ejaculated from oral sex. I enjoy it enormously, but I can never get enough stimulation to take me over the top. However, I also know that there are two other reasons. Like doggy style sex, there is an element of subservience in this for most men and, if so, you need to be completely self-focused on your own enjoyment, with virtual disregard for your partner - for many 'nice' guys like me, that is hard to do. And the issue of where to come also comes into that factor - on her face, in her mouth, on her breasts? For me it has always been too tacky to discuss. And there is the final point again - being able to talk about desires, whether technique or fantasy. Not easy for many of us. Some guys just need a reassuring partner to tell them that they are ok with whatever technique and fantasy, that he should not worry about his woman's pleasure sometimes and should just take his own pleasure. That's why many guys buy sex - no emotional hang ups, open discussion of needs and wants, experience, total focus on singular pleasure and, if you want, freedom to play any role - dominant, subservient, etc...

whoa! thank you. You have put my life long dilemma into words