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So, I've never fooled around at all before until recently with my boyfriend. We didn't have sex. But he did start "going down" on me. I was enjoying myself, but I didn't have an orgasm. I don't understand why. And I feel guilty because now he feels bad for not helping me reach that point. He feels like he himself didn't suceed in taking care of me, so to speak. I really want to be able to do things with him again, but I'm afraid that this will keep occuring and continue to make him feel bad, and make me frustrated in the process. Is there something I can do to ensue that I will orgasm? I'm just not sure where to even begin. Is it normal not to have an orgasm the first time you get intimate with another person? I'm embarassed and confused...and frustrated. Any help and/or advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Don't worry there are plenty of times when I have sex with my boyfriend and I don't cum...for woman sex is both physically and psychological. For some, more psychological than physical. Like for me....now that you feel bad/guilty/disappointed in your proformance with him...it's gonna stick in your head the whole time during sex the next time you do have sex...and that, that is not good at all. The more you think during sex, the more focus you take off your vagina...even though you may not think so cause it feel sooo wonderful...it's kinda like your mind keeps you from reaching that point. You must tell him that it's not his fault, he's great at it, you love the feeling and you love what he does with his tongue, fingers, penis...ect...that, unfortunately it is all you...but I'm telling you you have to leave your mind blank of what happened...your never gonna reach an orgasm while he's licking you down there, thinking "gee I wonder when it's gonna happen? Am I ever gonna cum?" You have to just let it go. I'm telling you, and just feel him, and the movement of his body, the sounds, the feeling...close ur eyes and imagine your most secret, most hottest fantasy, and let it turn you on. Try touching yourself, get the feel of what you like best, and tell him to touch you there, don't be afraid to be verbal with it, let him know what you like, let him know how good it feels while he's doing it...that's a real BIG turn on for guys if you know what I mean...maybe try putting your mouth on his you know what...dunno if you ever done that, but it's easy, just sheild your teeth with your lips like your applying lipstick, and go up and down with your head on his...well..im sure you can geuss, and im sure you'll be fine...try massaging your clit while he's inside you, that drives me wild!!! Explore his and your body...make it funn...don't be so hard on yourself...we all have our little problems in life, but where theres a will theres a way...oh and always wear protection...just keep your mind on how much it feels good, try stretching your legs and pointing your toes towards the sky every now and then, that helps me, and clamp down with your vagina like you have to hold in your pee...theres a million possiblitys, good luck and if you need anything else im on here everyday...good luck~Jill
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