So, my girlfriend is a virgin, and she recently decided that she wants to lose her virginity. a couple of days ago we tried, and we had to stop because she said it hurt too much. at one point there were actually tears. the pain comes with minimal amounts of pressure. i just want to know if this is normal. and if there is anything i can do to help her through it. when we stopped she started blaming herself. i dont want her to feel like its her fault. and i definitely dont want her first time to be painful.
There are a few things that get in the way of first time intercourse. One being a thicker hymen than normal. Another could be her frame of mind. Is she nervous, is she under stress, is there a chance you may get cought, could she get pregnant?
There are sveveral factors that could derail your first time attempts.
By the way, what are you two doing regarding birth control. That could be on her mind.
Are you using a condom?
There are sveveral factors that could derail your first time attempts.
By the way, what are you two doing regarding birth control. That could be on her mind.
Are you using a condom?
I got another big one that could be getting in the way....
DOES SHE WANT TO DO THIS, or is she just doing it to please you????
Think about this!
DOES SHE WANT TO DO THIS, or is she just doing it to please you????
Think about this!
thanks bbfeet9. we are using protection. is it normal for her to be in that much pain though? thats wut concerns me. i understand that she might have a thicker hymen, but she says it hurts before there is any type of penetration. and kirk, i appreciate your input, but you really didnt answer anything. you just kind of threw your 2 cents in there. ive never pressured her into wanting to have sex. and if you say i was too eager, like ive seen you say on other topics, you are wrong. i was very hesitant. and i came here for answers, not opinions. so just keep it to yoursef if you dont have anything helpful to say
The hymen is very close to the vaginal opening. It doesn't take much for her to be able to begin to feel the pressure of an attempted penetration.
She needs to be very relaxed, and she also needs to be well lubricated.
I know it could hurt somewhat, but if she is in tears, it goes further than that. Sounds like she is afraid to have first time intercourse. You need to be understanding and calm with her. Reassure her that you will be patient and wait until she may be ready. If all else fails, a quick trip to the Doc may be in order. No biggy.
She needs to be very relaxed, and she also needs to be well lubricated.
I know it could hurt somewhat, but if she is in tears, it goes further than that. Sounds like she is afraid to have first time intercourse. You need to be understanding and calm with her. Reassure her that you will be patient and wait until she may be ready. If all else fails, a quick trip to the Doc may be in order. No biggy.
I know exactly how u feel. my boyfriend is going through it.. i'm on the other side of that .. i tried having sex and it hurts so much.. she's probably more than ready: it just hurts al ot!! and yes my hymen won't break! as much as i try ... and my boyfriend is taking his time and doesn't mind to wait but he is almost twenty and i'm ready too.. i wish it would not hurt so much... i blame myself ... i always feel bad and sad after a session and my boyfriend always tells me not to worry .. but i just want to get that stupid pain outa the way to make things more fun.. and i really don't wanna go to the doctors.. i'm just gonna try it a few more times.. maybe be a little more brave and take the pain .. i'm a small girl so that could be it..don't worry ur not alone.. just try it a few more times..
Guitarchick44 wrote:
Your physical stature doesn't make much difference here. A 98 pound little girl can push out a 9 pound baby, not comfortably, but even so.
Our bodies are mysteriously put together in such a way that we as females can take a lot more than a man would think.
I was looking on the internet a while ago and came across this excercise thing. It is various sizes of penis shaped objects that you introduce into your vagina one size at a time. They vary from small to an average shaped penis. You can do this in the privacy of your home (bedroom) with or with out the help of your partner. Little by little you will graduate yourself to the largest size penis. These excercises will help you to get yourself to the point where you will be able to have the real deal.
I am not sure where i saw this site, but if you search engines i am sure you will find it. Look somewhere is sexual aids.
Tampons can sometimes break the hymen.
I kno exactly how u feel my boyfriend is going threw it.. im on the other side of that .. i tried having sex and it hurts so much.. shes probably more then ready it just hurts alot!! and yes my hymen wont break! as much as i try .. and my boyfriend is taking his time and doesnt mind to wait but hes almost twenty and im ready too.. i wish it would not hurt so much.. i blame myself .. i always feel bad and sad after a session and my boyfriend always tells me not to worry .. but i just want to get that stupid pain outa the way to make things funner.. and i really dont wanna go to the doctors.. im just gonna try it a few more times.. maybe be a little more brave and take the pain .. im a small girl so that could be it..dont worry ur not alone.. just try it a few more times..
Your physical stature doesn't make much difference here. A 98 pound little girl can push out a 9 pound baby, not comfortably, but even so.
Our bodies are mysteriously put together in such a way that we as females can take a lot more than a man would think.
I was looking on the internet a while ago and came across this excercise thing. It is various sizes of penis shaped objects that you introduce into your vagina one size at a time. They vary from small to an average shaped penis. You can do this in the privacy of your home (bedroom) with or with out the help of your partner. Little by little you will graduate yourself to the largest size penis. These excercises will help you to get yourself to the point where you will be able to have the real deal.
I am not sure where i saw this site, but if you search engines i am sure you will find it. Look somewhere is sexual aids.
Tampons can sometimes break the hymen.
If she is a virgin it is going to hurt but you can make sure she is relaxed and very wet. That's about all you can do.
I agree that bbfeet9 has given you good support and ideas. She cited several factors that could influence pain in intercourse. I threw in another factor that COULD (note emphasis) be a big factor. And I posed the question.
I made no assumptions, and made no accusations, and expressed no opinions. Just pointed out another big factor. And asked you to think about it.
Obviously you don't have that situation.
I'm glad to hear that you are so well attuned to her and want her experience to be a good one. I think you're getting good input here without my two cents worth. That's why I dashed off only three lines to suppliment bbfeet9's ideas.
Hope you're getting what you wanted out of your inquiry.
I made no assumptions, and made no accusations, and expressed no opinions. Just pointed out another big factor. And asked you to think about it.
Obviously you don't have that situation.
I'm glad to hear that you are so well attuned to her and want her experience to be a good one. I think you're getting good input here without my two cents worth. That's why I dashed off only three lines to suppliment bbfeet9's ideas.
Hope you're getting what you wanted out of your inquiry.
yeah, i have been going through that for a couple months now - still hurts her alot, but not as bad she says. The problem is she does not really want to have sex ever, since it hurts - but it won't get better if you don't do it right? I am there with you man....
I've only had sex once, yes it hurt, but my advice would be to use lube. Lots of it. And stimulate her clitoris. That way it might make it easier for the both of you.
I have the same i am a 20yr old virgin, i am in a serious committed relationship and really wants to just do it and get it over with bur i get nervous and scared very fast and my legs wont stay open. i don't know if that is normal or not. I could not handle the pain after 2-3 attempts and my fiance just said'' ok i done'' went to sleep. Then i went on the computer and then he asked''are u okay'' i felt really hurt by that almost cried.
Sex is not supposed to hurt.
There could be several reasons for pain...nerves... vagimitis...lack of lube...infection...or even an extremely tough hymen.
Anyone with continuing pain should visit their doctor for an examination and advice.
I joined this so i won't feel alone or feel different i feel retarded. I am slim, fair latina mix with indian and a model, and people sometimes think i am too cute to be a virgin so i doesn't tell any1 or talk about my problems.
I really wanna do it and just get passed it but its very painful and my fiancee says nothing did not go in yet. I am very scared
i have a similar problem. my girlfriends really sensitive down there and doesn't even want to try because it will hurt too much. her hymen has already been broken by another guys finger supposidly, but she is still so sensitive down there that it is hard to touch her without it hurting her. if that wasn't bad enough (and i am not trying to brag in any way) she thinks my penis is too big for her and after using my fingers on her, i think she is probably right. I only brought up sex in passing because we have just started seeing each other, and i don't plan on bringing it up again because i don't want her to feel bad that she can't. still, it is very frustrating knowing that sex isn't really a possibility for us. what's worse is that i seem to have something called Anorgasmia which means that i can't have an orgasm when I'm with her. this sucks on two levels, one being obvious, that i can't have one, and the other is that even though I'm a virgin this means i will be able to last a really long time when i do have my first time which most girls would love.