After 35 years of daily smoking, my husband went cold turkey 5 days ago. We have been fighting unlike anything we have ever engaged in before. He punched a hole in the wall last night and the night before Thanksgiving he hit the stove so hard he knocked out the pilots. His anxiety is extremely high and his temper short. I have never before witnessed violence or outbursts like this in this typically mild-mannered (and stoned) guy. I do have to say though that he has had a history of depression and has used his marijuana use as a crutch to avoid dealing with life's challenges. I am worried about the outbursts and what appears to be obvious marijuana withdrawal symptoms. I could really use some helpful insight into this issue. Thanks
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I am so sorry to see your post so late but felt the need to respond. I too have been married to a man who had been a daily user for close to 40 yrs. I lived about 5 yrs in a "Roller Coaster" with his moods. He didn't quit cold turkey he just cut down. I cannot even begin to imagine what you went through over those several days.
My husband's withdrawal periods became violent at times. Luckily I am not afraid of him nor am I weaker than he, so he found out.
We went to a counselor and she could see by just looking at him that he was a user. She told me and him that he was BiPolar from chemical abuse. She said he basically has been self-medicating and when he does not medicate himself he has bits of manic and rage.
Once he was finally prescribed Lexapro I saw major improvement. Now I live with the challenge of making sure he takes it every day. I still have to deal with his occassional (springtime) slips where he binges on the stuff and refuses to take his meds. Most people look forward to Spring but I generally do not.
All I can tell you is that you live with an addict and you need to do what you can to get yourself through it all.
My husband's withdrawal periods became violent at times. Luckily I am not afraid of him nor am I weaker than he, so he found out.
We went to a counselor and she could see by just looking at him that he was a user. She told me and him that he was BiPolar from chemical abuse. She said he basically has been self-medicating and when he does not medicate himself he has bits of manic and rage.
Once he was finally prescribed Lexapro I saw major improvement. Now I live with the challenge of making sure he takes it every day. I still have to deal with his occassional (springtime) slips where he binges on the stuff and refuses to take his meds. Most people look forward to Spring but I generally do not.
All I can tell you is that you live with an addict and you need to do what you can to get yourself through it all.
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That is very inappropriate thing to say to these ladies.
I myself smoke marijuana, though I have not even had one trace of withdrawal except for a little stomach ache not smoking it within the last 3-5 days. What your husbands are experiencing is the lack of the "high" which he has known for 30+ years. What you must understand is he/they have been used to it for many, many years what he is doing is trying to release his stress, even though I do not approve the methods of what he is doing.
This may not make sense but say in a hypothetical understanding. What he is experiencing is what it is like to lose a child that you loved for a very long time.
This comment is directed to the wife of the man taking the drug. Its very foolish of you to relinquish one drug to him taking another.
A way you can help him is to help him relax after coming home from work.
What I want you too try is when he comes home, have a shower/bath ready for him when he comes home. Then ask him how is day went and then message his shoulders and then ask him if he wants a joint. He may say yes he may not. Reward him If he says no with some love and appreciation of what he has to go through. (Basically reward him with sex.)
It is very hard to quit something but using it to your advantage by rewarding him with saying no will most likely help him get over his addiction.
I have seen it work on some occasions but it might not work all the time.
you can take my advise to use it or not to. It never hurts to try.
P.S: Never let your husband make you feel threatened in anyway. If he does just leave him alone and make sure you make him realize how much he is scaring you.
Hope you enjoyed my advise
~Colin~
I myself smoke marijuana, though I have not even had one trace of withdrawal except for a little stomach ache not smoking it within the last 3-5 days. What your husbands are experiencing is the lack of the "high" which he has known for 30+ years. What you must understand is he/they have been used to it for many, many years what he is doing is trying to release his stress, even though I do not approve the methods of what he is doing.
This may not make sense but say in a hypothetical understanding. What he is experiencing is what it is like to lose a child that you loved for a very long time.
This comment is directed to the wife of the man taking the drug. Its very foolish of you to relinquish one drug to him taking another.
A way you can help him is to help him relax after coming home from work.
What I want you too try is when he comes home, have a shower/bath ready for him when he comes home. Then ask him how is day went and then message his shoulders and then ask him if he wants a joint. He may say yes he may not. Reward him If he says no with some love and appreciation of what he has to go through. (Basically reward him with sex.)
It is very hard to quit something but using it to your advantage by rewarding him with saying no will most likely help him get over his addiction.
I have seen it work on some occasions but it might not work all the time.
you can take my advise to use it or not to. It never hurts to try.
P.S: Never let your husband make you feel threatened in anyway. If he does just leave him alone and make sure you make him realize how much he is scaring you.
Hope you enjoyed my advise
~Colin~
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I would do those things if he worked all of the time. I am the main bread winner and always have been and do not mind that part at all.
When he goes through his binges in the Spring, and mean several times per day (5+ times) he refuses to work, clean up after himself, bathe, shave etc..... Then when he stops his binge he becomes verbally abusive and sometimes physical.
So, while he is having his binges he is irresponsible and as soon as he quits is dangerous to be around.
He does need to be medicated and monitored by a doctor, not self medicated.
When he goes through his binges in the Spring, and mean several times per day (5+ times) he refuses to work, clean up after himself, bathe, shave etc..... Then when he stops his binge he becomes verbally abusive and sometimes physical.
So, while he is having his binges he is irresponsible and as soon as he quits is dangerous to be around.
He does need to be medicated and monitored by a doctor, not self medicated.
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I am with the posts above about being with someone that has been long time marijuana smoker. I too am in the same situation. This is the week of rehab (as I call it) where my husband has not smoked. The yelling, screaming, paranoia, blame (you name it) has intensified.
I'm glad I found this post as I feel so alone and it is not something I can share with friends or family members.
It is a very scary and alone place to be.
Thanks for being here.
I'm glad I found this post as I feel so alone and it is not something I can share with friends or family members.
It is a very scary and alone place to be.
Thanks for being here.
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hiya ppl hope u still read this thread...my husband has been off smoking marijuana for nearly three years now,it used to be a very expensive habit but he finally kicked it when i gave birth to twins.it used to be a case of if he couldnt get it i used to have to suffer,but in the end it all got too much for both of us and he went to the docs and said he was depressed( which he wasnt) and the doc prescribed him with anti depressants ...with will power and a week of being moody and taking the tablets as recomended at the night to help him sleep he hasnt looked back since,
just thought id let u know our story good luck
just thought id let u know our story good luck
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Colin,
You should be ashamed of yourself. You are probably a chronic user and if you do have a wife or girlfriend I pity her. These are women seeking serious advice from the 'victim', 'non-user. "person who is being negatively affected by a drug user', what ever you want to call it.
For the record, I smoke pot, and a few years ago I have tried many a drugs (I have dabbled). I also think pot should the legalized. Or I did until, my husband's pot use is totally out of control and he spend tons of money on pot (400$ a month at its worse). He is not the same person.
The only intelligent comment you made was about the hot shower. My advice to people in this situation: my husband will agree to only smoking 2 joints a day, and that is not going to fly with me. He can do whatever he wants on his own, but I will not raise my son or be part of a family with someone how numbs themself from life. (that is self-medicating by the way). Not being treated for an illness by a doctor.
If my husband does quit I am leaving. But if he does want to quit I will be supportive and give him time to de-stress
P.S You sex comment was so ignorant and degrading
You should be ashamed of yourself. You are probably a chronic user and if you do have a wife or girlfriend I pity her. These are women seeking serious advice from the 'victim', 'non-user. "person who is being negatively affected by a drug user', what ever you want to call it.
For the record, I smoke pot, and a few years ago I have tried many a drugs (I have dabbled). I also think pot should the legalized. Or I did until, my husband's pot use is totally out of control and he spend tons of money on pot (400$ a month at its worse). He is not the same person.
The only intelligent comment you made was about the hot shower. My advice to people in this situation: my husband will agree to only smoking 2 joints a day, and that is not going to fly with me. He can do whatever he wants on his own, but I will not raise my son or be part of a family with someone how numbs themself from life. (that is self-medicating by the way). Not being treated for an illness by a doctor.
If my husband does quit I am leaving. But if he does want to quit I will be supportive and give him time to de-stress
P.S You sex comment was so ignorant and degrading
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hey i'm not a doctor or anything, and do not agree with the self medicating of it, (i am a user and have found that with myself, that it does not matter how much you use marijuana, you are still to some degree medicating and taking from life's natural process, but i will say that
it is not good to start taking MUCH more dangerous drugs to combat the "marijuana" addiction, look i am for support of legalization, but
chiefly because common knowledge about this very common and non-threat drug should be spread, instead of making it illegal
where people can live in the back woods their entire life, knowing nothing of what they are smoking, smoke constantly
while doing no research on what they are putting into their body, wanna hear of some really bad drugs? some very addicting drugs?
some dangerous, health hazards that should be taken off of the market, pretty much overything you get prescribed by your trusted
doctor is a health risk, now i am all for supporting getting clean, and behaving right, but i have quit several times, and even though i do
go through a certain degree of MENTAL withdrawal, it remains just that, a man that can hit the stove and punch a hole in the wall at
your husband's age is the same person with or without marijuana, he just needed to quit self medicating. and realize that even
behind the "marijuana" usage he was that person. so with the same principle as you have got him clean on, copping out and getting him
prescribed something that is more likely to have him "commit heinous acts", marijuana being at 0% risk in individuals who would not
commit the act in the first place, and a very, very peaked level in those on S.S.R.I's you're husband has become victim to an industry
that has killed many people, and destroyed many lives. i will not return to read this, i do not agree with your husband's self medicating, but i believe his actions weren't okay, wether he was "withdrawing" or not, which is a very large misinterpretation of the side effects you go through mentally afterwards... which are just not having something your used to, do you have a morning routine? how would you feel to wake up and find out you could not get 80 percent of it done? it is a routine addiction, and one that he must face, but
past that, he still has more potent demons to face, poor guy, now he's on some really hard drugs, that he probably needed mildly treated with a much less potent form of for a very long time now, it is just sad that he went to the doc. in the middle of that spell, and now will permanently be on s.s.r.i.'s when will these psycho's realize they are damaging people's lifes! whether it seems a brilliant temporary fix or not i'm warning you, in the long run it will cause destruction, you have left certain parts of the brain alone, to destroy others, god bless you and i hope that you read this and do not assume me to be a pot supporting activist, but a person who has been through it, both sides. if you think i am blowing smoke think again, i have lost my entire family, ending their lives, addiction overdose, etc.
and while i did not agree with how they self medicated, and i did not agree when i would see people light up as soon as they think they have a problem, in order to avoid "being there" for any future pain, i will say that if they had just used the marijuana, as damaged as they would be, they would not have used other drugs, because i have seen a lot of people succesfully come clean from cocaine, etc. even myself, with no intervention, i did smoke weed though, it was that "little" (and after cocaine, a REAL addictive drug/ dangerous substance) it was not exactly a terrible idea to use something that. eased my crazy mania, and anxiety, and also helped me combat the addiction from the other, put on a few pounds, and sleep at night. signed, just use the logical part of your mind, not the part controlled by people with "credentials" because i warn you they are even bigger problems in disguise, if you must treat this chemical imbalance, i urge you to do your research on what a chemical imbalance is for one, it seems as if you have just went to the doc. and assumed as we all do that he gave you a "quick fix" and you are more than likely very wrong, i suggest if you must, the herbal market, you can get the same kind of relief, naturally, and non addictively (because your husband will now be very, very addicted to this harmful drug) signed, you will probably not listen, but i just want you to hear it and wish you the best of luck
it is not good to start taking MUCH more dangerous drugs to combat the "marijuana" addiction, look i am for support of legalization, but
chiefly because common knowledge about this very common and non-threat drug should be spread, instead of making it illegal
where people can live in the back woods their entire life, knowing nothing of what they are smoking, smoke constantly
while doing no research on what they are putting into their body, wanna hear of some really bad drugs? some very addicting drugs?
some dangerous, health hazards that should be taken off of the market, pretty much overything you get prescribed by your trusted
doctor is a health risk, now i am all for supporting getting clean, and behaving right, but i have quit several times, and even though i do
go through a certain degree of MENTAL withdrawal, it remains just that, a man that can hit the stove and punch a hole in the wall at
your husband's age is the same person with or without marijuana, he just needed to quit self medicating. and realize that even
behind the "marijuana" usage he was that person. so with the same principle as you have got him clean on, copping out and getting him
prescribed something that is more likely to have him "commit heinous acts", marijuana being at 0% risk in individuals who would not
commit the act in the first place, and a very, very peaked level in those on S.S.R.I's you're husband has become victim to an industry
that has killed many people, and destroyed many lives. i will not return to read this, i do not agree with your husband's self medicating, but i believe his actions weren't okay, wether he was "withdrawing" or not, which is a very large misinterpretation of the side effects you go through mentally afterwards... which are just not having something your used to, do you have a morning routine? how would you feel to wake up and find out you could not get 80 percent of it done? it is a routine addiction, and one that he must face, but
past that, he still has more potent demons to face, poor guy, now he's on some really hard drugs, that he probably needed mildly treated with a much less potent form of for a very long time now, it is just sad that he went to the doc. in the middle of that spell, and now will permanently be on s.s.r.i.'s when will these psycho's realize they are damaging people's lifes! whether it seems a brilliant temporary fix or not i'm warning you, in the long run it will cause destruction, you have left certain parts of the brain alone, to destroy others, god bless you and i hope that you read this and do not assume me to be a pot supporting activist, but a person who has been through it, both sides. if you think i am blowing smoke think again, i have lost my entire family, ending their lives, addiction overdose, etc.
and while i did not agree with how they self medicated, and i did not agree when i would see people light up as soon as they think they have a problem, in order to avoid "being there" for any future pain, i will say that if they had just used the marijuana, as damaged as they would be, they would not have used other drugs, because i have seen a lot of people succesfully come clean from cocaine, etc. even myself, with no intervention, i did smoke weed though, it was that "little" (and after cocaine, a REAL addictive drug/ dangerous substance) it was not exactly a terrible idea to use something that. eased my crazy mania, and anxiety, and also helped me combat the addiction from the other, put on a few pounds, and sleep at night. signed, just use the logical part of your mind, not the part controlled by people with "credentials" because i warn you they are even bigger problems in disguise, if you must treat this chemical imbalance, i urge you to do your research on what a chemical imbalance is for one, it seems as if you have just went to the doc. and assumed as we all do that he gave you a "quick fix" and you are more than likely very wrong, i suggest if you must, the herbal market, you can get the same kind of relief, naturally, and non addictively (because your husband will now be very, very addicted to this harmful drug) signed, you will probably not listen, but i just want you to hear it and wish you the best of luck
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that is what happens with withdrawal, he would be better off in a rehab or something if you want to save the marriage.
if you quit drugs and/or booze cold turkey, the withdrawals are going to be tremendous.
if you quit drugs and/or booze cold turkey, the withdrawals are going to be tremendous.
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you mean to tell me he goes off marijuana only to get put on drugs (lexapro) that is id**t sh*t.
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Guest wrote:
..you must be the potsmoking man...Before they met he might have been able to afford to have a steady supply..When kids and other responsibilities come along, and the temper outbursts, emotional and verbal abuse start whenever his supply is temporarily halted,.that's when she know's she is in deep trouble...I've been there and it's no picnic..so you don't know what you're talking about.
LET THE MAN SMOKE HIS WEED.
YOU PEOPLE THINK YOU CAN CONTROL THE MEN.
If they smoked before they met u, they should be able to smoke after...
..you must be the potsmoking man...Before they met he might have been able to afford to have a steady supply..When kids and other responsibilities come along, and the temper outbursts, emotional and verbal abuse start whenever his supply is temporarily halted,.that's when she know's she is in deep trouble...I've been there and it's no picnic..so you don't know what you're talking about.
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Some how I was hoping that finding people going through the same things I was dealing with would help but honestly it is only making me feel more helpless. My husbands been smoking ciggs n pot for over 12 years and he did meth and cocain for nearly 5 years. We had grown up together until he disapeared with his drug problem and We re-met again 3 years ago after he kicked the meth and coke habit but was now drinking heavily and smoking weed and ciggs still. Well accidents happen and I very quickly got pregnant and let him know if he didnt want to stick around then leave but if he did the smoking and drinking had to go. It was hard but he finally quit drinking and smoking after a few bad relapse. We've had major problems along the way with his cronic depression due to meth and come and now the doctor says he may even be showing signs of bi-polar. Almost 6 months ago he finally started seeing a doc and taking meds for it after he left me and our two children for four months during which time I found out I was pregnant again! Things seemed to be getting better, we were learning better communication and patience with eachother when 3 days ago I found his stash of weed and pipes in the truck under my 2 year olds seat. This was 4 days before my due date! Come to find he never quit smoking weed and lied to me about it and now he wants to continue and get a medical license for it so he can continue useing it to cope with his "depression and being and as****e". His words. Im against drugs, ive tried pot it sucked it suck it suck and I dont want to live with a drug addict but I cant "make" him quit. Tomarrows my due date for our third child and now I'm dealing with this sh*t. Im so hurt and confused. I don't even know this person at all because he's actually been stoned 90% of our time together and hes lied to me for three years despite me having my doubts and asking him straight out if he was using. To put the lemon in the cut, he's a stay at home dad!!!!!! Now my worlds turned upside down knowing why hes so violent and irrational at times with me and has left me wondering if im a horrible parent for not immediatly packing my kids and leaving. As we speak we are moving the last of our belongings into the house we just bought together before this happend. How do you handle this sh*t? So many of you are dealing with a hardcore user like my husband and it all just sounds so bleak like I should just accept the fact that he will never choose his family over the drug and just leave. This is way too much to deal with pregnant!
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my husband is a short tempered guy to.. don't take much to fuse him off especially when he is needing to smoke some.. i've cried and begged him to give it uo.. says he's not gonna do it.. so i have left him in god's hands to take care of him.. i will also be praying about your situation.. keep in touch if you can..
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I too am struggling at this very moment with my husband, yet again, out of "weed" and displaying every one of the behaviors that you are describing. He even said last night "I want a divorce, I am unhappy and like this because of you." I know he is totally strung out as every 3 weeks or so, he runs out and his 'supplier" can't come up with anything quick enough. Help to you and me.
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