This is my first time, ever posting something like this on the net. I guess you could call it a way to vent. Anyways, I am 16 a guy, and have been depressed for years off and on. But lately it has gotten alot worse. I walk around, not knowing why I am even here. I dont have alot of friends anymore, and the ones I do have im not very close with. I have no one I can realy relate to, or just someone who can make me smile. All this anger and sadness. It hurts so much. Like its eating away at me, bit by bit. Bringing me to tears. I am so upset with my dad for a reason I can't explain myself. All this hate and anger I have inside of me, I guess some of it gets thrown on him for no reason. I seem to ignore him and never talk or hug him. I know this will sound cliche but, when I get up in the morning I ask myself "Whats the point?" The chaotic cosmos of intertwind failures and nightmares haunt me. I feel so alone, and so dead inside. Thoughts of suicide have plauged my mind time and time again. I have never attempted it, but I fear soon I will be on that path...I dont know what to do anymore. Mom wants to take me to a therapist. I have been to one before but not in a long time. I dont really know who I am anymore really.
Loading...
IT GETS BETTER. EVERYONE GOES THROUGH PHASES LIKE THE ONE YOU'RE GOING THROUGH. TRY TO IMAGINE NOT BEING HERE. WHAT AFFECT IT WOULD HAVE ON ALL THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU. THEY ARE REASON ENOGH TO GO ON FIGHTING. WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY VENT JUST DO SO WITHOUT PHYSICALLY HURTING YOURSELF OR OTHERS. I LIVE WITH SOME OF THE SAME ISSUES YOU ARE EXPRESSING AND HAVE FOR MANY YEARS. WE ARE ALL HERE FOR A REASON, YOU JUST HAVE TO FIND YOURS. TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF ANDREALIZE THERE ARE OTHERS OUT HERE FEELING MUCH LIKE YOU. YOU'LL MAKE IT JUST THINK OF THE ONE THING THAT MAKES YOU HAPPIER THAN ANYTHING ELSE. THAT WILL BE YOUR MOTIVATION EACH DAY TO KEEP GOING. THINK OF ALL THE INTERESTING THINGS LIFE THROWS AT YOU; ITS A PAIN IN THE BUTT SOMETIMES BUT IT KEEPS YOU GOING. KEYWORDS: DON'T LET LIFE DEFEAT YOU. ALWAYS TRY TO WIN YOU CAN DO IT. THIS HELPS ME: I THINK ABOUT ALL THE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT HAVE IT WORSE THAN ME( A CHILD WITH CANCER, A PARENT WHO LOST A CHILD, PEOPLE CHILDREN & ADULTD ALIKE THAT ARE SUFFERING FROM ABUSE, A PERSON ON THE STREETS WITH NO WHERE TO GO).
Loading...
Thank you for responding. I will keep what you have said in mind....But it's just, every time I try and think about the positives in my life and when I try and be happy I end up feeling more angry and depressed. It seems I feel better just not even trying anymore. I have tried so hard, to stop thinking like this, and to see how much I have in my life compared to others. But it doesn't seem to help me. I always have these horrible images in my head at times. I can't remember the last time I actually felt happy. It's almost driving my insane. I dont mean to bother you all with this, but I guess it's better than keeping it all in...I just want this to go away. Sometimes I just feel like, death would be a better alternative. I know it wont be, but I just can't help but think that way. I have cried many times, some for no reason at all, just to cry. I feel so weighted. So sad, and so lost in my life...
Loading...