Hi all. I am soo glad to see this forum. I've been having something eating at me for months now. I havent wanted to tell anyone because i dont want it to ruin my friendship. I dont think it will ruin my relationship cause it happened when i was split with my bf. But any way a few months ago i was really drunk, i barely remember that night, but my best friends bf was driving me around and i do remember kissing him. I also remember going to a back road somewhere. so the next week i went to where I thought we went and i found something that was in my car that night which was now on the ground outside. So it brought my fears kind of to reality. I had sex with my bestfriends bf. I thought something happened cause when i woke up at my cousins house i didnt have my underwear on. I havent told her. im too scared too. And from what it sounds like neither has he. I remember talking to him on our way home, and mentioning her name. And appearently he wasnt that drunk. from what she said. cause i tried asking her about that night and how he ended up driving me and not her cause thats usually how it is. and she said he wanted to drive me. which i thought was weird cause i dont really know him. i tried talking to him to see if what i thought happened really did happen. but never knew how to ask. I have always thought he wasnt bad looking but in my normal state of mind i knew he was taken. and i think even in my drunken state i knew he was taken which makes me feel worse. And when i was i was drunk i mean i was wasted.. we had like 5 bottles of alcohol at the party. and i drank a lot. cause the 5 bottles was just mainly between me and about 5-6 other people. But right after that night he told my best friend that he didnt want to drink anymore. which made me feel even more guilty. Now they are broken up, and i feel like i need to tell her. but i dont want to ruin our friendship. i had hoped that he would be a good bf and tell her. but he never did. I did tell my bf that we kissed but i didnt tell him what i thought had happened. he said he wasnt mad at me cause we was broken up at the time. but im just i dont know. its been bugging me for months now. i want to tell her but i dont. confusion.. well thanks for listening to me. if you have anything to say feel free too!! i know what i did was a horrible thing. and i do know how it feels to be cheated on... i do regret that night. i told myself that night that i wasnt gonna drink too, but it was my cousins bday and he wanted me to drink with him. so i did. big mistake. well thanks again!
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This is why drinking a lot bothers me: bad things can happen. But it's great that you feel remorse over what happened.
I don't believe the guilt is ever going to go away. When we feel horribly guilty over something, it seems to just grow over time. I understand that you don't want to harm the friendship. It's important that you tell her that. It's important to tell her that you've tried for so long to tell her, but you were terrified of harming the relationship. But if you don't tell her, things are probably just going to eat you up inside.
It's also important to remember that if she doesn't forgive what you did and is angry, that you took responsibility for what happened by telling her and realizing that it was wrong. And I hope that you'll realize that you're not a terrible person. What happened may not have been the best, but that doesn't make you a bad person. At some point, forgive yourself also.
And remember--be careful when you drink.
I don't believe the guilt is ever going to go away. When we feel horribly guilty over something, it seems to just grow over time. I understand that you don't want to harm the friendship. It's important that you tell her that. It's important to tell her that you've tried for so long to tell her, but you were terrified of harming the relationship. But if you don't tell her, things are probably just going to eat you up inside.
It's also important to remember that if she doesn't forgive what you did and is angry, that you took responsibility for what happened by telling her and realizing that it was wrong. And I hope that you'll realize that you're not a terrible person. What happened may not have been the best, but that doesn't make you a bad person. At some point, forgive yourself also.
And remember--be careful when you drink.
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Thank you. After that night I didnt really drink as much. I calmed down. Plus I ended up pregnant, but it wasnt my bestfriends bfs baby, it was my bfs baby. But i ended up losing it. But ever since that night I havent gotten wasted. I did drink a little after i lost my baby. But I dont plan on getting drunk anytime soon. I have noticed that I do the most stupidest things when I am drunk. I made out with 2 girls, and my bf cousin right in front of him. It was when we was broken up though. But yeah. I think I am going to tell her... Eventually. She does deserve to know. Im just really scared. Cause not only is she my best friend but she is also my coworker. So i have to see her everyday. I know she comes on this site too..So im also afraid that she will come across this post.. But thanks again.
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Just a update.. i did tell her about that night. and she said she wasnt mad at me but at him for not telling her and for well doing it. but she was greatful that i was a good enough friend to tell her. i hope i did the right thing. cause i think she still loves him and he still loves her. and now that she knows it sounded like she didnt want anything to do with him anymore. which makes me feel bad. but i am happy that so far it hasnt effected our friendship.
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