I wanted to share my story, as i gained strength from so many others on here during my ordeal. I feel I owe them that much to give back what helped me.
background:
an on and off again user of percs, vicodin, oc 30s, and eventually oc 80s for over 2 years. i never had a connection so it was random, kinda like "get them while you can" before theyd be gone.
well once i got an easy connection i noticed a little piece off the 80 didnt hold me over after a week like it used to. so the inevitable increase in dosage occurs. take a bit more, take a quater peice. take a qauter now, and a quater later cuz the game is on. hey why not take a bit at work.
at some point my routine would be chew up a piece, then sniff the c**p on my work desk a few tiems, then do wahtever at night. goign through 80s a day before i realized it.
the folks i knew of who did it on the regular more than i had, longevity wise - were up to 5-10 a day. i was "only at 1 or 2" so i kept kidding myself i wasnt gettigng bad, until 1 night.
for whatever reason i didnt feel like taking much one day, and i had fallen asleep ealry in preparation for a ski trip the next day/. i woke up in the middle of the night, probably 10 hrs after my last piece, sweating, back and legs moving all over the place - most uncomfortable ive ever been. nothing i did helped the agony. in a panic i thought to myslef that "are these really W/Ds???" to prove the theory i went and riffed a small amount and sure enough , 5 minutes later im right as rain.
taht scared me more than anything. i didnt stop, i did more every day to avoid that terrible feeling - however i knew the end had to be near. i have a great job, a busy travel schedule and really had to plan around any tiem spent gettign off the c**p.
well the time came to me. 2 weeks later my wife found my stash - did her own research while i was a bum sleeping till noon. doomsday came in the form of seeing the one you love trying to understand the terrible choices i had made. not only takign the drugs but going out of my way - putting myself out there to be arrested or even killed in a street deal. these are thigns i grew up with but had long left in my past till recently. things i openly scoffed at when hearing of others. amazing the double standard i became.
she flushed all 7 of those bad boys in front of me - maybe the best thing i could have witnessed. i had half left scattered around the house half an 80 - i woudl cut them into qaurters so "not to take too much." waht a joker.
so taht day i did all kinds of research before crazylegs set in - here and other sites. many said a taper was best, but i didnt have much to work with - and i didnt want to be caught with anyting else.
so the revelation hit on a saturday. i went 24 hrs, as long as possible enduring painful w/ds - and took a tiny piece, maybe a 10mg cut. this would be 11PM. it helped wonders, didnt get high - jsut cut the RLS down so i could sleep.
sunday i did the same trick, endured as long as possible, and took a smaller peice to help sleep. 10PM
i took monday off from work, woke up feelign terrible - i took another peice at 11AM, probably not even a 5mg. and then another to help with sleep at 11PM. again, smaller tahn the "5mg."
tuesday i went to work - you are probably wondering how thats possible, but had no choice. i had the Thomas recipie in hand - minus the clozapam, klonapin or vallium - and went to GMC ,Viatmim Shoppe, and CVS pharmacy for the OTC meds needed.
i have to stress to all, the thing that helped the most (not included in all descriptions ive read) was the Hylands Leg Cramp pills. taht 1st night without was tough enough, but those combined with all the natural aids i was able to sleep more than i expected.
i then gave her the rest claiming i had found soem and didnt want to be caught with it. she still ahs it - and will make me throw it out on my own when she feels ive recovered properly.
ive stuck to the Thomas recipe to a....."T" and today (Day 7 including rapid taper) ive finally gotten over the massive stoamch pains of the past few days.
days 1-3 were hell, but i truely beleive OTC meds can help. i also beleive it depends on your abuse level. RLS, sweating, shakes, paranoia - staring at the damn clock. Day 4 was more tollerable, but my stomach was bloated and painful as hell. W/Ds or taking too many OTC meds i dont know - but a price to be paid.
Day 6 was less irratable but still have soem shakes and stomach pains.
Day 7 (today) is the best ive felt since and thoguht i could give a proper description of my events.
Ive gone for walks, drank a ton of water - and beer. smoked some pot. but only today did i get out of the fog ive been in -and only today did i realize what the fog was like. you dont notice till you out.
im not saying im done w/d - and i still have PAWS to overcome, and i have discomfort. im taking the Hylands every 4 hours and i still wake up in the middle of the night sweating - but in no way could i have doen this without the help from so many on here and the available OTC meds. i paid $100 for everything. $100 covers 2 oc 80s where im from. taht money is much better spent getting to work cleaning yourself up. sooner the better.
It is possible. and you must do it. Did i do it for myself? yes, of course. but it took the agonized face and expression from my wife to get myself in gear. dont let it get to that point .sneaking around will only cause those who find out to wonder who the real you is. taht great guy was just a pill. who is he really?
you will pay physically and emotionally for what you ahve done to your body. come to terms with this. however ive gained a great appreciation of the human body after this ordeal - its a marvel to cherish. time to treat it as such.
feel free to ask any questions. i hope i can help.
sorry for the spelling - i type too damn fast.
background:
an on and off again user of percs, vicodin, oc 30s, and eventually oc 80s for over 2 years. i never had a connection so it was random, kinda like "get them while you can" before theyd be gone.
well once i got an easy connection i noticed a little piece off the 80 didnt hold me over after a week like it used to. so the inevitable increase in dosage occurs. take a bit more, take a quater peice. take a qauter now, and a quater later cuz the game is on. hey why not take a bit at work.
at some point my routine would be chew up a piece, then sniff the c**p on my work desk a few tiems, then do wahtever at night. goign through 80s a day before i realized it.
the folks i knew of who did it on the regular more than i had, longevity wise - were up to 5-10 a day. i was "only at 1 or 2" so i kept kidding myself i wasnt gettigng bad, until 1 night.
for whatever reason i didnt feel like taking much one day, and i had fallen asleep ealry in preparation for a ski trip the next day/. i woke up in the middle of the night, probably 10 hrs after my last piece, sweating, back and legs moving all over the place - most uncomfortable ive ever been. nothing i did helped the agony. in a panic i thought to myslef that "are these really W/Ds???" to prove the theory i went and riffed a small amount and sure enough , 5 minutes later im right as rain.
taht scared me more than anything. i didnt stop, i did more every day to avoid that terrible feeling - however i knew the end had to be near. i have a great job, a busy travel schedule and really had to plan around any tiem spent gettign off the c**p.
well the time came to me. 2 weeks later my wife found my stash - did her own research while i was a bum sleeping till noon. doomsday came in the form of seeing the one you love trying to understand the terrible choices i had made. not only takign the drugs but going out of my way - putting myself out there to be arrested or even killed in a street deal. these are thigns i grew up with but had long left in my past till recently. things i openly scoffed at when hearing of others. amazing the double standard i became.
she flushed all 7 of those bad boys in front of me - maybe the best thing i could have witnessed. i had half left scattered around the house half an 80 - i woudl cut them into qaurters so "not to take too much." waht a joker.
so taht day i did all kinds of research before crazylegs set in - here and other sites. many said a taper was best, but i didnt have much to work with - and i didnt want to be caught with anyting else.
so the revelation hit on a saturday. i went 24 hrs, as long as possible enduring painful w/ds - and took a tiny piece, maybe a 10mg cut. this would be 11PM. it helped wonders, didnt get high - jsut cut the RLS down so i could sleep.
sunday i did the same trick, endured as long as possible, and took a smaller peice to help sleep. 10PM
i took monday off from work, woke up feelign terrible - i took another peice at 11AM, probably not even a 5mg. and then another to help with sleep at 11PM. again, smaller tahn the "5mg."
tuesday i went to work - you are probably wondering how thats possible, but had no choice. i had the Thomas recipie in hand - minus the clozapam, klonapin or vallium - and went to GMC ,Viatmim Shoppe, and CVS pharmacy for the OTC meds needed.
i have to stress to all, the thing that helped the most (not included in all descriptions ive read) was the Hylands Leg Cramp pills. taht 1st night without was tough enough, but those combined with all the natural aids i was able to sleep more than i expected.
i then gave her the rest claiming i had found soem and didnt want to be caught with it. she still ahs it - and will make me throw it out on my own when she feels ive recovered properly.
ive stuck to the Thomas recipe to a....."T" and today (Day 7 including rapid taper) ive finally gotten over the massive stoamch pains of the past few days.
days 1-3 were hell, but i truely beleive OTC meds can help. i also beleive it depends on your abuse level. RLS, sweating, shakes, paranoia - staring at the damn clock. Day 4 was more tollerable, but my stomach was bloated and painful as hell. W/Ds or taking too many OTC meds i dont know - but a price to be paid.
Day 6 was less irratable but still have soem shakes and stomach pains.
Day 7 (today) is the best ive felt since and thoguht i could give a proper description of my events.
Ive gone for walks, drank a ton of water - and beer. smoked some pot. but only today did i get out of the fog ive been in -and only today did i realize what the fog was like. you dont notice till you out.
im not saying im done w/d - and i still have PAWS to overcome, and i have discomfort. im taking the Hylands every 4 hours and i still wake up in the middle of the night sweating - but in no way could i have doen this without the help from so many on here and the available OTC meds. i paid $100 for everything. $100 covers 2 oc 80s where im from. taht money is much better spent getting to work cleaning yourself up. sooner the better.
It is possible. and you must do it. Did i do it for myself? yes, of course. but it took the agonized face and expression from my wife to get myself in gear. dont let it get to that point .sneaking around will only cause those who find out to wonder who the real you is. taht great guy was just a pill. who is he really?
you will pay physically and emotionally for what you ahve done to your body. come to terms with this. however ive gained a great appreciation of the human body after this ordeal - its a marvel to cherish. time to treat it as such.
feel free to ask any questions. i hope i can help.
sorry for the spelling - i type too damn fast.
I took 120 mg of oc in a 24 hour period. I only do them like once a month.
Is it possible to go through withdrawals from such a small amount?