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What can a person do about a housemate who constantly lies about anything and seemingly everything, even when we are with groups of friends? I'm talking about a mid-aged professional man with advanced bus. degrees, divorced (has adult child), raised in a close family bkgrnd with European/Med. heritage. This person actually told a group of friends and me about his war medals and honors and that he was "over there" in combat and I learned yrs. later from his relatives that none of it was true. He, it turns out, has told lots of lies about a lot of things. What is his problem? Is he a hero wannabe? Does he feel inferior from childhood experiences. His family said he was always small in stature until he got to h.s. and that kids used to pick on him and beat him up when he was a kid. Now, when he gets angry, he bullies and gets temper tantrums. I have met his family and it appears to me that none of them can/will deal with him because he drinks and gets mean and tough.

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This sounds like it might be the sign of a deeper issue than just pathological lying. I have a very similar experience with someone who does this and they have Bi-Polar and Borderline Personality Disorder.



I understand how disheartening this can be, it is a frustrating to not be able to feel you can trust what they are saying. It is likely that as he's gotten older he has found his life is empty, or not what he wanted, so that is why he is making up his life to be more interesting. Feeling that if he is more interesting then perhaps people will like him more. In the end, that is not the case.



For me, I learned to accept that this is just how the person is. I take what happens in the time I've known them as the fact and truth, and everything from his past as "Tall Tales", I even joke with him about it at times and that seems to help stop them or at least make him less likely to talk about them. Now and again when he meets new people he will go on about something from before I met him, but I can tell the other person is only believing about 10% of what he is saying. It's actually about 50% that is truthful.



However, this isn't necessarily the only solution. Some might not understand how I can joke with the person, however this person is someone in my life that I love with all my heart and soon will call my husband. Love is love, and marriage is about accepting all the flaws as well as the positive things of the other person, in my belief. Accepting a friend or family member for who they are and just trying to understand and look past it. It is usually harmless for the most part, usually.
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